Hi, I'm Mohammed. 大家好 我叫Mohammed
I'm The Wolf. 江湖称号狼
How did I get to where I am now? 你想知道我是怎么混到现在这个位置的吗
Well, like many stories 好吧 那就说来话长了
it all began with the promise of sex. 一切都由那个挑逗的短信开始
You see, 你要知道
my apartment locked me out of it. 我被我的公寓锁在了门外
It took away my phone. 我的手机在里面
My dog was in there too. 我的狗也在里面
I tried to get help. 我试着想要得到帮助
But everyone in China 但每个人在中国
is HSK3 or above. 的中文都非常好
I did meet one good soul. 我终于遇到了一个好心人
But without my phone 但我没有我的手机
I was lost. 我什么都不记得了
I was a victim. 我是受害者
But the world saw me as a villain. 但是世界把我视为恶棍
You prey on them with your sad stories 你用你悲伤的故事欺骗他们
and your tea scams. 还有你用那些茶的小伎俩
It was that night I realized. 那天晚上我意识到了
You either die a hero, 你要么就像个英雄般的死去
or live long enough to become a Tea Scammer. 或者活得足够长来成为一个茶馆骗子
What is a "Tea Scammer" you ask? 你是想问我什么茶馆骗子吗
Well, 好吧
the Wolf is about to operate. 那么狼即将施展他的骗术
Psst.
Psst!
Did you know that phone addictions are 你知道手机会上瘾的
the number one cause of addictions? 头号原因是什么吗
Uh, sure. 呃 当然想知道
I gave up my phone weeks ago. 几周前我放弃了使用我的手机
It was very rough in the beginning. 一开始是很不习惯
Now I'm the Wolf of... 现在我是狼的
I'm The Wolf. 我就是狼
[Howls] 嗷乌
Congratulations. 那恭喜你
Do you know how Siddhartha became the buddha? 你知道悉达多是怎样成为佛的吗
He gave up his phone. 他就是放弃使用他的手机
Cool. 酷
It's just the age we live in. 因为我们生活在这个时代
We're all addicts. 我们都对手机上瘾
You know what is not addictive? 你知道什么不会让人上瘾
Air? 空气吗
Tea ceremonies. 茶道
Are you 那你
Would 愿意
Would you like to see one? 你愿意看一看吗
Ah... 啊
You know, I'm more of a coffee guy. 你知道 我还是比较热衷于咖啡
It's my vice. 这是我的习惯
Come on! 别嘛
Who comes to China and drinks coffee? 有谁来中国还喝咖啡的
It's the land of tea. 这里可是茶的领地
Would you like to see one? 你想看看吗
Here? 这里吗
Sure! 当然
Where else? 要不然在哪
Okay. 好吧
Then let the ceremony begin. 那么让仪式开始吧
What do you think? 你认为怎么样
Pretty amazing, huh? 相当不错吧
What a spectacle. 多么壮观啊
Did you see when the tea went into the other cup? 你看到茶倒进另一个杯子了吗
Yeah. 看到了
Uh... 呃
Pretty dope. 很牛
Yes it was, wasn't it. 是啊，谁说不是呢
Dope. 相当牛了
Cool, so I'm going to go. 酷 所以我现在准备走了
Wait. 等一等
You're not going to pay for that? 你不准备为我刚刚的表演付钱吗
I... 我
didn't drink anything. 没有喝啊
Plus you spilled most of it. 再加上是你把他们都溢出来了
So... 所以
Tell you what. 这么和你说吧
Since neither of us are scammers. 因为我们都不是骗子
Of course. 那是当然的
Let me pay half. 让我支付一半
Fine. 好吧
Sure, it's just two cups of tea. 当然 不就是两杯茶嘛
Fine, okay. 好吧
Fine. 好
Excellent. 棒极了
Don't go anywhere, 待着别动
I'll be right back. 我马上回来
Excuse me. 打扰一下
Yes sir, how can I help you? 是的 先生 需要什么帮助吗
Oh hey, I didn't know you worked here. 哦嘿 我不知道你在这里工作
Hey, it's you! 嘿 是你啊
Yeah, hey 是啊 嘿
thanks for helping out the other night, man. 谢谢你那天晚上的帮助
I really appreciate it. 我真的非常感激
No problem at all. 不用放在心上啊
It seems like everything has worked out okay. 看起来似乎一切都很顺利
Yeah I'm actually in the middle of a scam right now. 是的 我正在设一个骗局
A what? Sorry? 啊 什么 没听清
You're in the middle of a what? 你在设一个什么
Yeah listen, I have this clown over there. 听着 在那边有个傻子
A real... 是真的
Sadhij (simpleton). 傻瓜
How would you like to get in on the ground level? 你愿意参与进来分一份羹吗
No I don't think I would. 不 我不认为我会这样做
Well I'm still going to need you to ring up a bill 好吧 我还是需要你把账单的费用提高点
for two cups of tea. 就我刚点的两杯茶
for, let's say... 就说是
10,000RMB. 一万元人民币
Solid ten. 这个数字比较好
Okay sir, I think... 好吧 先生 我认为
I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 我需要请你离开这里了
What!? 什么
You've changed! 你变了
You used to help people. 你之前都是乐于助人的
Okay, I'm not joking. 好了 我没在开玩笑
I'm going to have to ask you to leave right now 我请你现在马上离开
or I'm going to call the police. 要不然我就要报警了
Fine. 好吧
I'll do it myself. 我自己来
Lone wolf! 我是独立的狼
Here you go. 给你
Bill for one Tea Ceremony. 茶道的账单
Minus the half I paid to the gentleman over there, 减去了我在那边给那位先生的一半
of course. 当然了
Woah, I'm not paying for this. 喔 我才不会付这个账单
Well, 好吧
I would hate to pound your ass. 小心我艹你
Woah! 喔哦
What? 你说什么
Yeah, you heard me! 是啊 你没听错
Do you mean kick my ass? 你是想说走我么?
Yes. 是
And pound it. 然后还要用力艹
Look I don't know what's going on here. 听着我不知道这里到底是怎么回事
Are you trying to scam me, bro? 你是在逗我吗 兄弟
Didn't you see that I paid the guy over there? 难道你没有看到我在那边付钱给那个人吗
Look man. 你看
I'm new here, I don't want any problems. 我刚来这里 我不想惹任何麻烦
How about, 你看要不然
How about I just give you 50 kuai. 要不然我给你50元
Is that okay? 这样可以吗
Deal! 成交
Wolf wolf! 狼嚎
You're looking well. 你看起来不错嘛
What's your secret? 你的秘密是什么
Dude! 兄弟
As soon as I gave up my phone, 自从我放弃了我的手机
my life changed! 我的生活改变了
Oh yeah? 哦 是吗
Oh yeah! 当然
I'm just happier, man. 我真的很高兴 伙计
You never realized the opportunities you're missing out on 你从来没有意识到你错过的机会
when you're just... 当你只是
looking at your phone the whole time. 一直看着你的手机
But it's 2019, 但是现在是2019年
Isn't that just a pain in the arse? 没有手机那不会很不方便吗
[Not at all] 完全不会
You see, there is a way around everything. 你看 有一种解决方法
If I want to send a text, 如果我想发短信
I do it the old fashioned way. 我就用老方法
I mean, check this out. 你看 我是怎么做的
Here is a selfie I took of me earlier today. 这是我今天早上拍的自拍
What if you need to scan a QR code? 如果你需要扫二维码怎么办
How do you pay for stuff? 你怎么买东西
Check this out. 看我的吧
Waiter! 服务员
Hey! 嘿
Check. 买单
Alright. 好的
How would you like to pay? 你想怎么支付
I can scan you or you can scan me. 我扫你还是你扫我
Oh, I scan you. 哦 当然是我来扫你
Voilà. 完成
Dude, 兄弟
I think you've lost your mind. 我想你已经失去了理智
All I know 我所知道的
since that night 就是从那晚开始
I've been meeting a lot of new people 我见了很多陌生人
and making triple figures. 然后赚了很多钱
Now, if you'll excuse me. 现在 如果你们不介意的话
I have to go broker some deals. 我必须要去做些交易了
On the bund. 在外滩
Freeze! Put your hands in the air! 不许动 把手举起来
I'm sorry, I can explain! 对不起 我可以解释
I lost my phone! 我的手机丢了