[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MEOW]
What's the next big purchase you're going to do?
Well, I would love to get myself like a Tesla,
but then I saw how much it costed.
And then I was like, oh, maybe I could get me some diamonds,
right, because I never had no real diamonds.
I was married before, but I don't know
if those was real diamonds.
You know what I'm saying, Ellen?
[LAUGHTER]
Yes.
You don't know.
I didn't go get it appraised, so I'm not sure.
And then I gave it back.
I had to give that back.
[LAUGHTER]
Anyways, Ellen, I would like to get me some real diamonds,
but they're--
I don't know.
That's expensive too.
And I don't want to be broke.
I've been homeless before.
I don't never want to be homeless again.
So I'm probably just going to rent a Tesla
and rent some diamonds.
[LAUGHTER]
So this book-- tell everybody-- it's about--
I just said during the break, once you hear her story,
she is going to inspire so many people
by what she has lived through.
But tell everybody what's in the book.
OK, so this is The Last Black Unicorn, Tiffany Haddish.
That's me.
And the book is about--
[LAUGHS]
The book it's about my life experiences.
And the whole reason that I even wrote the book
is because I felt like I must have
gone through this stuff for a reason,
and it's probably to share it with people.
And there's always a bright side to everything,
and I always talk about my goals and stuff.
And one of my goals, girl, is to meet Oprah Winfrey, right?
Woo!
And then she'd be my auntie, Auntie O.
And then we'd both be gardening together and stuff, right?
She got a good garden.
She got yard.
Yes.
She got a whole lot of back yard too.
Yes, she certainly does.
Grows stuff.
So I'm going to meet her, right?
And then we going to start--
do a co-op.
And then next thing you know, we're
going to start our own little booth,
and we going to farmer's markets and stuff together.
And it'll be Tiff and O's Vegetables.
And we'll probably tour the country,
and we'll sell out of vegetables.
And then people will be eating vegetables and stuff
because of me and Oprah.
That would be great.
People should eat vegetables.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Yes.
All right.
OK.
But the book is good.
You're going to learn about foster care.
You're going to learn about marriage.
Well, what I learned from marriage, anyway.
Your experience of marriage, yes.
Yes, my experience.
So your birthday was yesterday.
Yes.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
OK.
I want you to see what I got for you.
Look out-- this is outside waiting for you right now.
Shut--
[CHEERING]
OK.
You're going to--
Serious?
Yes, we're renting it for a week, and then--
Yes!
All right.
If you'll just--
Oh, Lord, [INAUDIBLE].
If you'll just sign here--
OK.
--then sign there and there.
All right.
Sign here, here.
Ooh, nobody ever gave me a car before!
It's just a rental.
I know, but still.
We need it back on the 12th, OK?
OK, you can have it on the 12th.
There.
Oh, Lord!
And if you see--
look in the back seat.
Look in the back seat.
Is it diamonds in the back?
Uh-huh.
Sun rooftop.
Diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean.
Gangsta lean-- oh!
Let's see.
It's Oprah.
[CHEERING]
Hey!
Oprah's in the back.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
Listen.
Thank you.
Listen.
I got a brand new car!
We tried to get Oprah here for you.
She's on her way to South Africa.
But we were really trying to surprise you with Oprah.
But this is your car for a week, and you're going
to drive that car away today.
Yes!
All right?
The Last Unicorn is in bookstores everywhere.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MEOW]