I'm here in New Hampshire, the "Live Free or Die" state,
and right now it's so cold, I feel like dying.
After the DNC shat the bed in Iowa's caucuses,
New Hampshire has a real chance
to be the first state in the nation to lead
the presidential nomination process.
I'm here at the state capitol to find out more.
So (bleep) cold! (grunts)
The only results out of the Iowa caucuses
was just how bad they blew it.
This is an unmitigated disaster.
It could not be more of a disaster.
-Nightmare. Disaster. -Disaster.
-Disaster. -This is the death knell.
If it's not the death knell, somebody should get fired.
CHIENG: So now the pressure is on New Hampshire
to get it right.
All eyes now turn to the New Hampshire primary.
It's gonna be the most important primary in the cycle.
CHIENG: I searched the State House
to make sure the people in charge were hard at work.
(laughter)
Hello?
Where the hell is everybody?
This place was emptier than the DNC's bowels
after they shit all over themselves in Iowa.
Turns out the governor was calling
a very important last-minute press conference
to explain how New Hampshire is the best at elections.
We hadn't really planned for this,
so we crashed a presser TMZ style.
Turns out you can get in anywhere
with a suit and a camera crew.
You could sense that there was more at stake
in this primary than usual.
Our press corps seems to have grown.
CHIENG: The governor
and what appeared to be all the Democratic candidates
came out to deliver their remarks.
Warren, Bernie, Yang.
This press conference had everything.
An old man wandering around, clearly confused,
a PowerPoint presentation with voting clip art,
and, of course, a guy livestreaming this
on Facebook for likes.
Well, thank you very much. We're gonna open it up
for questions, I think. Uh...
CHIENG: Finally, the governor of New Hampshire
took our questions.
After a couple of softballs,
I found my chance to ask the only question
that Americans actually wanted to know.
Uh, Mr. Governor. Mr. Governor.
Uh, after the... Thank you.
After the disaster in Iowa, are you able to promise
the people of New Hampshire and the nation
that New Hampshire will not (bleep) this up?
New Hampshire is gonna get it right.
We've gotten it... gotten it right for 100 years.
We're gonna keep getting it right.
CHIENG: The governor's nonanswer only raised more questions.
Mr. Governor, if you...
If this goes off without a hitch,
how do you plan on gloating to Iowa?
Are you willing to go on the record to say
that Iowa sucks and New Hampshire rocks?
Can you assure your citizens
that your votes will be counted unless they're for Bernie?
I guess we'll have to wait to get our questions answered.
Mr. Governor. Who are you voting for, Mr. Governor?
Will New Hampshire be a corn-fed cluster(bleep)
like Iowa? Only time will tell.
But am I excited to get out
of this freezing, political pony show hellhole?
I vote yes.