[RUSSIAN & TURKISH BATHS HEALTH CLUB]
This famous cook?
Maybe some day you will cook here?
Oh, I would definitely chef here.
[EDDIE HUANG, CHEF/OWNER, BAOHAUS] I'm gonna create a special health menu.
Yeah, something Chinese food?
Chinese juices. Dragon sweat.
Panda shit. The best.
[MUNCHIES]
[BAOHAUS, EAST VILLAGE MANHATTAN] My name is Eddie Huang.
The name of my restaurant is Baohaus, and we serve like Taiwanese-style street food.
"Bao" just means like bun or bread in Chinese.
Everybody has a variation on pork buns, but I was like yo,
let's take a step back and do the O.G. shit.
the real authentic Taiwanese way that we've been doing since the 50s.
So I wanted to red-cook the pork, and topping it with peanuts and sugar and cilantro,
like how we do in Taiwan, and it just really took off.
It's not like my mission in life was to open a bao restaurant.
This was kind of the item that made the most sense.
It's portable, it's like the Asian answer to a taco.
The names of the baos are cool like,
you know, the original's named after Chairman Mao
because Mao's from Hunan, and my technique for the red-cooked pork belly
is from Hunan the province, that's where my family's from.
And then we've got the Birdhouse Bao, it's chicken,
the inspiration for that was Robin Givens,
'cause she's the biggest bird in the world.
Hate that bitch. Ruined Mike Tyson.
So yeah, we're gonna go hang out with detective Max Koshkerman.
[MAX KOSHKERMAN, NIGHTLIFE IMPRESARIO] He always sounds like he's interrogating people.
What do you got for breakfast a salad?
[SIMONEZ WOLF, CHEF SEZ] The other dude is Simonez Wolf, Chef Sez.
I know Sez from the door at Le Bain,
he's always clowning motherfuckers outside, not letting anybody in.
He's a funny cat.
[EMILE HAYNIE, MUSIC PRODUCER] The latest one man, what's wrong with you?
You all know Emile. He produced Runaway, he produced Lana Del Ray's new album,
You know honestly, we should just eat at, the fucking, that new pot pie,
that new KFC pot pie is the moves.
Really we all just hang out, and we like to eat.
So we're going to go eat at Nan Xiang, Shanghai-style breakfast,
after you, Mr. Simonez.
Alright, so Flushing's an interesting neighborhood because
a lot of people feel like the best Chinese food comes from Taiwan.
After the revolution, most Chinese master chefs
fled to Taiwan, they came to New York, set up in Flushing.
-Which way? You know... -This way.
The first restaurant we went to was Nan Xiang Xiao Long Bao.
[NAN XIANG XIAO LONG BAO, FLUSHING, QUEENS] They do the best Shanghainese breakfast I've had
in New York, hands down.
Deep bow, deep bow, deep bow.
That's a dismissive one!
You think like Chinese breakfast and everybody just assumes dim sum.
But dim sum is like a Cantonese thing, like Southern China,
on the coast, a lot of the rest of the Eastern coast of China
people like to eat soup dumplings, hot soy milk,
crullers, like these are dishes that you don't usually see
in the American canon of Chinese food, so I like people to see it,
because that's what I grew up eating.
I tell you what man. Only fresh soy milk,
people don't even understand how incredible it is.
This is a beef scallion pancake, one of my favorite dishes.
This dish? It's beef and tripe together, spicy oil, but...
the folk name for it is "fuqi feipian," "Husband and Wife Platter."
Now, soup dumpling 101, I'm gonna show you this.
You see a lot of goons poking holes right in the top. Hooligans!
This is what you do. Soup dumpling gets a sauna.
You put it in the vinegar, let it chill out,
maybe 30 seconds to a minute, it'll cool, then you eat it,
this is the only way to do it. You do it any other way...
-Don't be a hooligan. -Don't be a fuckin' hooligan.
Alright? Yeah, you see all these motherfuckers on Facebook:
"My favorite food is soup dumplings," they're like poking them like this.
Respect. Respect.
Can I do this? This is good?
No. What the hell, that looks like some crazy French shit.
Looks like a little bit of a...
See I should host a show teaching people how to do this,
called "So You Think You Want to Be a Chinaman."
"So You Think You Can Chinaman."
Oh, thank you. Thank you grasshopper.
Oh, and then after that, we went to probably the best Cantonese restaurant
in any of the five boroughs, Imperial Palace.
[NEW IMPERIAL PALACE, FLUSHING, QUEENS]
Looks bad for them.
-I can't reach him. -Oh, ninja!
Oh! Can't reach you!
I got the crab on rice, seafood on pan-fried noodles,
I got a little fried grouper, I think we're good.
Is there a lobster dish?
The Westerner is so annoying...
The Westerner is so annoying.
So Max was being extra difficult, like,
I don't usually go to a restaurant and order all fucking shellfish dishes.
But I ask Max what he wants, he goes, "Oh, lobster."
Like son, we're getting dungeness crab. You still wanna get lobster?
He's like, "I only wanna eat lobster."
He wants lobster. He's gonna be difficult unless he gets fucking lobster.
I just wanna try that Cantonese style.
How difficult... I thought you were difficult. This guy's fucking difficult.
I thought you were... No he's difficult. This guy, this guy.
I'm not difficult. I'm just, just proper.
We got only shellfish. That's some baller shit.
Only ordered shellfish.
-Cheers! -Cheers!
Cheers guys.
And we got dungeness crab over sticky rice there.
They take a live dungeness crab, butcher it live, take the top off,
they'll take sticky rice then they'll throw it in the wok a little,
then it goes on top of lotus leaves, into a bamboo steamer,
game over. It's probably the illest dish out there
at any restaurant in New York right now.
Alright, go ahead, go ahead Emile, you go in. Go dig in Emile.
This is the best part, see? Inside the brain?
That yellow shit.
Get up in the brains.
This shit is the best.
This is steamed oyster with XO sauce.
Chili oil, dried scallop, all kinds of good stuff.
And then the fried rice dish that we had was a salt fish fried rice.
The protein that you see in there is diced chicken bits,
but the flavor for that fried rice is coming from salt fish.
I think I just said "fried wice."
That Chinglish just pops its head up sometimes. So ugly.
-Look look look! -Oh, here we go!
I want you to take a photo with your lobster.
Yo, if people knew Sim was like, geeking out taking food photos
like that, like I don't think he could control any door in the city,
because he stunts on everyone, he's like the coolest guy you know,
but now he's got like his Yelp on, fucking taking photos of food for his blog.
It's a funny dynamic all of us, but,
we don't give a fuck, I mean, we'll geek out over shit,
I mean, we act the fool, anywhere we go you'll see we act the fool.
After Imperial Palace Emile pussied out, he didn't want to go to the baths.
-You coming? You want to go? -No, no.
No. Definitely not. No.
So then we went to the Russian baths, just sweat it out.
We felt gross from all that food.
[RUSSIAN & TURKISH BATHS, EAST VILLAGE, MANHATTAN]
How are you Simonez? We are here at the Russian Baths right now.
Ah! Gangsta!
Max was in there with a bunch of dudes with no drawers on
eating a pear. Definitely let the streets know that's Max's shit.
See! He was eating a fucking... You see him eating a fucking pear?
There's like no better place to eat a pear than in a locker room full of naked dudes.
Yo, I like to just get blazed and sweat.
Like it's kind of cool, it's like the perfect thing to do high, 'cause
you don't have to think about anything, like,
your mind is just consumed with sweating.
and you feel like you worked out, feel like you burnt some calories,
even though you didn't so, we just fucking go to the baths.
Look at this shit.
Some intense negotiations going on here at the baths.
Max. The price is listed man.
Prices are listed.
Max is always fucking negotiating with people.
He don't ever want to pay full price for anything.
Like, he'd go to Chipotle and fucking negotiate if he could.
This plug, I want one more round on the house next time we come.
These Persian people are the cheapest.
But he know how to deal!
He does. You should take another photo here of him,
put it up, "This man steals."
Stealing. Stealing. Stealing memberships.
-Alright, take care. -Bye, good luck, good luck to you.
So after we went to the baths, we just had the munchies,
and we were like, "what could we make?"
We're gonna go to Baohaus, and gonna make fried bao ice cream sandwiches.
They're gonna be good.
It's this way.
Are you lost? You guys are lost?
Neighborhood watch. Neighborhood watch.
Damn, you just stunted on him in front of his girl, yo!
You're stealing shorties tonight? You stealing shorties?
Alright. We're gonna make this.
Drop 8 baos in the fryer.
Is this what you sell or just like what you...
No, just for fun. You want one? We'll make on for you.
-Can I have one? -Yeah, we'll make you one.
-No problem. -Can I have one too?
Had them fry baos with the red bean paste, a little shiso leaf,
all the finest greenery,
and then vanilla ice cream or green tea ice cream, depending on what your flavor is.
Oh, delicious! Here you go Sim.
You want ice cream sandwiches?
Alright, come get it!
Don't be shy! Y'all scared of ice cream sandwiches?
I'm a little confused about this.
Yeah? What are you confused about? It's fucking ice cream and fried baos.
What's there to be confused about?
We gonna feed the streets right now. Everybody.
Like a soup kitchen.
Yeah, it's a soup kitchen. It's an ice cream soup kitchen.
There you go. Enjoy man.
Yeah man, motherfuckers love free shit. They like anything free, man.
Could have taken a shit in a bao they'd have loved it.
See this high munchie shit it doesn't need to be pretty.
Just needs to be delicious.
It's a fucking recession. We feed people.
I'm gonna run on this platform: ice cream.
If your platform will be like, no, you cannot use Plan B.
I'll be like, I'm a nice guy, I want you to eat ice cream
and use Plan B.