hello welcome to what the flick i am
kristy this is Ben this is alonso we are
toiling in a post-apocalyptic wasteland
with Will and Jada Smith sorry Jane
Smith gets top billion will in in after
earth we saw last night yeah uh can you
remember who directed the film one night
yes perhaps all right that change giant
the brain lab we all forgot but but
credit to him uh for bringing us a
post-apocalyptic world on film because
it it just it's so original Spock great
to see ya with daddy issues the
father-son angst issues right well we'll
get to uh how the film looked in the and
now what more by what we have five
hundred movies to comparison we know but
that's no longer a small sample size of
post-apocalyptic movies this is a story
of uh Will Smith and his family he is a
general in this post-apocalyptic world
apparently get to be a general when
you're like 33 yeah once the apocalypse
comes but most importantly were no
longer on earth the because of terrible
evil monsters that have trained to kill
humans based on the fear that humans
emit through pheromones uh we've settled
with all the humans have come have moved
to a new colony and all that really
doesn't make any difference because will
and Jaden somehow end up back on earth
and they're the only two people there
and they must rely on each other to
survive and stay away from the horrible
monsters called Persis which i think is
the name of the general in Planet of the
Apes also Latin for bear also Latin for
bear
this is not training you are emotionally
unpredictable everything on this planet
has evolved to kill humans
yes under you don't know
we are going to survive this you must
realize that fear is not real
I do not misunderstand me danger it's
very real
but fear is a choice
this is earth so um this is pretty
spectacularly terrible and not even fun
and doesn't even look great
the effects are totally cheesy and the
worst part of all the worst part of all
is it is this shameless vehicle for Will
Smith to pimp out his son who looks like
a young version of him so actually this
is a narcissistic opportunity from Will
Smith to go back and revisit his youth
and save not just earth but all planets
so its narcissism and nepotism so before
we get into the Will Smith stuff uh
what's Latin for making up for a
positive hangover view if you are
calling you to a friend of ours stood up
at a theater last night I said Christy I
agree with you yes that's true I'm not a
crazy person but I have a taste I like
it movie 43 I can no position to
question anyway I like hangover too yeah
yeah this was yeah and I don't I do not
it is gives me no pleasure whatsoever to
rag on a fifteen-year-old for not
knowing how to carry a movie but I this
Jaden Smith is not actor enough to do
what he is demand to do here and they
demand a lot of him because here's it he
spends most movie by himself with no one
to play off of he spends most of the
movie probably in front of green screens
or responding to you know animals or
effects river that aren't there um and
you know it's a challenging role and
he's just not there unfortunately and
and and the end it's it's his vehicle
for him and he's not ready for it he's
not know in it I don't know that he was
he's not terrible at it like I didn't I
didn't I don't pretty good I didn't
really cringe I did I cringed a couple
times we change um the when they have
the big emotional argument before he
jumps off the you're not a coward yeah
that was it yeah it's like he's he
simultaneously stiff and he's over
remoting badly yes but but there were
other moments in it where he's fine I
mean like if I were advising him and his
father weren't famous I would be like no
keep acting like you're fine you're but
you gonna need other people to play off
you're gonna need to think this is a
this was this is hard and
yes this is a particularly demanding
role and they're the only two people
really in the whole movie there couple
scenes with the wife but they're the
only real characters in the movie and
they're really ice cream together right
and for an hour and 10-15 minutes the
bulk of the movie it's just them they're
not on-screen together they're just
talking to each other it's a that's
tough also there's this weird kind of
intermittent South African accent that
Jaden Smith is doing and does a lot of
the voice-over the beginning he
explained what has happened to earth and
where they are now and I don't wonder
Asian is some of the worst generation
ever now try to Mystery Science Theater
that the accent is all over the place
but also like there's a weird thing with
the sound mixing where I couldn't always
understand what he was saying I don't
know whether he was no mumbling I
learned their names like I could guitar
guitar is a guitar guitar I gave this
Bell with a cute and and and like this
the the dancing like cypher or something
right for aid yeah last name rage okay
bye
well I IG yeah well you know you don't
know that at the time uh yeah they they
all had this weird accent like they
decided the future talk was going to be
this sort of vaguely South African
vaguely Kentucky but with a little
Harvard thrown a other say I mean
accents would go away and you wouldn't
retain any accent from your world in a
future was not our accents work so it's
just that it was an incredibly silly
silly decision just have people talk
yeah if you're gonna do you have to go
all the way like in Clockwork Orange you
know like invent an entire patois you
know but if you're and even like crowd
alistair did it in the last part but
it's like yeah you can't if you can't do
it a little cuz then it just comes off
as ridiculous about the fact the M night
Shyamalan directed this movie which like
clearly they are trying to hide yes when
you do the posters with this film it's
like it's Will Smith faces Jane Smith
face no where is it like from the
director who brought you sign know the
exact I was making some point at the
beginning whatever but
you make me joke knows it I love if you
got hired on for will you think no
question I try forgot like wait who'd
make you this and then depress hold oh
yeah no John does not know signature of
his for better or you could argue that
like The Last Airbender this is a this
is sort of a Children's Crusade of a kid
you know forced in the wilderness to
like you know rescue somebody and bad
visual effects that you get all the
goddesses in 3d yes there is that also
then thankfully there is no gratuitous
like pulling the rug out from underneath
us like will and Jane are not the same
person or like yeah that's true there
there's no shocker ending let me say
briefly but things I liked about it I
was interested in how it came out which
is why I'm gonna give it a higher rating
than either you guys like I was I didn't
know whether they would both live both
died one would live one would die I
didn't know whether there would be some
supreme sacrifice made by one and I was
moderately interested and all of the
moments where uh uh he tried to scare us
like where they'd be a little moment
where you know they you cut quickly in
somebody's right there with the there's
a Condor in it that hasn't moderately
interesting role to play ethical more
fire Condor I like like three times I
was like like I did I did get the idea I
reckon all those I thought the the big
the big flying sequence where he jumps
off the cliff that has this the squirrel
outfit on you know it's a was well done
on that suit does that outfit hide well
the bigger the kinetic is that suit has
been modifying itself the whole time the
the the ungenerous might say the suit
has more range than Jaden Smith uh it
changes colors it like you know it it it
it's it's constantly like sciencing
itself and becoming a new thing so I bet
that they didn't bother but I did care
how it turned out and that's what kept
me from totally hating it um
but you talk about the suit like
everything it looked shitty everything
looked bad and also in this
post-apocalyptic world in there there on
earth that after earth it's back there
they're back on earth from their from
their settlement story
right post historic earth where in a
mere thousand years of early evolution
is just gone crazy and everything's
different right and but everything was
everything was super small like we never
got a big shot of anything except when
he'd give us really big shots which
didn't seem real that the waterfall like
well the water Oh like he'd look at he
kept you'd come to the top of the
mountains a penny see the panoramic shot
of everything but other than that it
always felt like it was in a box like he
was running in a box you never got a
sense of how big the forest he was
running in or anything like that it felt
to me super narrow and then it was
almost like that he recognized how
narrow it was and so in the hallway I
need a panoramic shot he records a lot
let's let's show it huge instead of
giving us some sense of proportion that
maybe explains all that way is at the
very beginning you know he has to go on
a hundred kilometer track from the part
of the ship where Will Smith is to the
tail where the baby donate maybe that's
the only sentiment that we have that's
why it's okay to not have it just never
there was never a moment where you were
scared based on where he was like he
never sort of that never became part of
it this unfamiliar terrain or anything
there's nothing cool that happened in
his whole journey really except that the
jump in the flight working on door
here's a question say you have a a
homing beacon that that they they can't
get through the atmosphere and you have
to climb up something tall to signal the
homing beacon
it goes into it goes millions of miles
yes base now you have a choice between a
regular mountain and a live volcano
right which one do you climb closest to
him I guess right there's another
mountain like right next to it what the
hell will so how about this just in
general again the thing goes into space
like a million miles into space yeah
yeah I got it
okay fast we talked about the fact that
the whole movie is like a Scientology
allegory I was wondering about that it
is all about Scientology it's all about
how you know whether the notion that the
danger is real but fear is all on you
you know it's something you choose to do
you can recognize and totally manipulate
your surroundings is also I think very
sign to logical the although strange art
well it's gonna drop my number effect so
I am hoping this is gonna be as
entertaining as Battlefield Earth and
being disappointed as if he does have
like the kinda like LRH kind of
Benefield earth feel - yes I like that
we have numbers but I did like how
there's a moment where Jayden by the way
you know that the kid who plays 13
year-old Jaden there's a couple
flashback to the is named as an actor
named Jayden where they are yeah popular
that year Jaden uh uh Jaden Martin or
something like that but I liked when
Jaden got um I had an allergic reaction
he had to save himself at some point
during yeah and he gets all swollen and
he look like Will Smith in hitch yeah
but he's the shellfish but even but
James got do these specialties we'll
just had to take some benadryl with even
dancing and it was fine uh anyway so uh
it was Angelica Houston Sofia Coppola
embarrass themselves their dad's movies
and then went on to have really great
careers anything can happen with Jaden
Smith I don't think that I it should
it's a bad movie and I don't know that
anybody could have made it on
considering while so you know he's
alright I just it wasn't it wasn't great
I gave it a four point four I feel like
that was too hot you might change a
number it still time
no it's alright I'll stick I'm gonna go
three point two because you're right
there are a few moments that are sort of
effective and there were there was an
idea or two buried in there that seemed
like it could have built into something
interesting although it did yeah I was
just interested in it for a little bit
still some and it's not long so it's a
feels morning yeah but I mean man it's
that thing I did two hours it'd be I'd
be giving it a one point for like 25
minutes and I'm like there's
another hunter and whatever man I give
it a 101 ya know ha I'm the tough critic
on the back yeah you're gonna need to
wait till 2014 to salvage that that's a
over all the time
2.9
or after where is it in tomato meter 13
we miss you Matt actually to give tomato
meter numbers 13% nobody likes it