Hi guys today's video is a bit of a reflective one and I wanted to talk
about and discuss with you guys why we call parenting a job and whether or not
there is a better term out there for what we do in raising human beings and
this came about because I was browsing and I found an amazing article which
I'll leave linked below and it just opened my eyes to the whole association
of parenting with a job and we all know that parenting is hard work I mean if
you're a parent it is hard work even if you're not a parent you probably know
the parenting is hard work but being hard work and being a job are completely
different things there are lots of hard work things in
life and not everything that's hard work is a job and I don't think I'm just
gonna put it out there I don't think we should continue to call parenting a job
but I do have some feelings why we do it and I do it all the time and how we can
do something to change it so I would love if you have an opinion on this
subject for you to leave a comment below and talk to me about it and talk to each
other and have a back and forth discussion I think it's worth talking
about and just a little reminder if you're not already to subscribe to my
channel please subscribe I'm so close to 100,000 subscribers I'd love to get
there by the end of the summer that would be amazing anyway I've made notes
because I have a lot to say on this subject so like I said parenting is hard
work isn't it and it's probably the hardest that you'll ever work in your
life more than any job you've ever had in your life and I think the reason why
a lot of us treat it as a job is because we don't get to decide when we take a
break when we walk away from it when we've had enough if you're parenting
it's full time it's there and it's happening and you don't get to stop you
don't get to say right I am done I've done enough for the day you saw yourself
out it doesn't it doesn't work like that does it so sometimes it may feel like a
chore and may feel like a job and I think that that's part of the reason why
we instead of parenting a job a lot of the
times after doing my research I've convinced myself that I am NOT gonna be
calling parenting a job anymore instead I think I will look at it more like a
relationship and the premise of a relationship is that you nurture it so
it can grow and you build connections with people and that's essentially what
we're doing on a daily basis with our children we look after them when you
nurture them so they can grow and we love them so we build those connections
and those relationships with them and yes feeding and changing and doing all
that stuff can sometimes feel like a chore but think of it as part of the
relationship as the part of the effort that you have to put in in any
successful relationship and that is your effort that you're putting in with your
children to know too that relationship and I think there are two metaphors here
that would change the description of a relationship instead of a job and in a
job you'd say you show up and you get paid in the relationship you water the
grass so it can grow and also I think with a job there's a lot of
competitiveness involved and treating parenting as a job just foster that
competitiveness that we all hate amongst mums we shouldn't be competing with each
other but because we were associating what we do as a job sometimes it feels
like you're competing because that mom takes all their children to their
after-school clubs and they go to football club an art club and I just
take my kids to the park so I'm not doing as good of a job is that mum
because she's doing so much more than me and that competitiveness does not need
to be there if you see what you're doing is a relationship there is no need to
look at what other mums are doing and see what you're doing you just see that
they have a loving amazing relationship with their children and you have your
loving amazing relationship with your children in your own way I truly believe
that you can only understand your children's needs if you have a proper
relationship with them and a relationship is back and
forth and it's built with time and effort and hard work and yes granted
you're not gonna see much back from your children when they're very young and for
a really long time it will feel like a one-sided relationship but you're
putting in your time and your effort and you are going to get something out of it
at the end you're good you're going to get that affection back and that back
and forth and I'm seeing that right now with my three-year-old I'm getting so
much back from him and have you ever noticed that the more independence you
give to your children which is a true mark of a relationship the more they
thrive and that's because they feel valued and they feel like they're on the
same level as you instead of always being below you which is what a job
would be like and obviously it's going to be hard if you give your toddler the
hose pipe to water the plants we're all gonna get soaking wet let's be honest
it's not gonna be easy but just look at how much they will feel happy for you
letting them do it and I think that is part of seeing parenting as a
relationship we do those hard things in order to nurture that relationship
you're building that confidence that they have in you that trust and all of
that are things that come with a relationship and not so much with a job
if parenting is just a job then we would just do things in the best and most
effective and efficient way possible we were just water the plants and not give
them the hose pipe because that's too hard work and it's much easier and
quicker if you do it but instead we want to see them happy we want to see them
thrive and so we foster that relationship I know I keep using that
word but I think that's a really important word in what I'm trying to say
here and the last point that I'm gonna make is something that I myself am also
guilty of I think that we put far too much pressure on jobs and work being
worthwhile in our lives and we are kind of trained to think that unless you're
doing a job you're not using your time properly and people who live indulgent
lives are not seen as their time to go to use a modern society
do we work and keeping busy and doing all these million things at once is seen
as better and more worthy than living a life of leisure
if you seem to be enjoying your life far too much and to be having loads of fun
all the time then you're perceived as lazy and I
think that's why we try and attach the word job to parenting because we want to
be seen as we're doing something as well we're not just sitting at home doing
nothing whilst our partners go out to work and we feel like we need to say
this is a job just as much as what you do leaving the house and earning the
money staying at home with the kids is as much of a job and I don't think the
word relationship will take away any of the hard work that we have to put into
our children I think we just need to get rid of that word job because it doesn't
do anything for what we do it puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves to
perform to the job to be constantly busy to do millions of things with our kids
because that's what doing a good job is as a mum and I think instead it would
take so much off the pressure of our short of shoulders and we would just be
so much more inclined to have more fun with them of treating parenting as a
relationship demands that we keep putting in the hard work into it but not
so that we can be better than other parents but so that we can have
something special in our lives something meaningful something that can last more
than a lifetime rather than something that will last only until the next best
and highest paid job comes around and also if everything is work then there is
no such thing as a work-life balance if your life is work and your work is work
then where is the balance where do you draw the line between enjoying yourself
and working so let's talk about this what do you think do you think that
treating parenting as a job is something that adds value to what we're doing or
do you feel more like I feel that sometimes that adds unnecessary pressure
to parents and instead if we treat it as a relationship then we will feel like we
don't have this burden of competitiveness or
of constantly making ourselves feel guilty for not doing enough of a good
job for our children when we are clearly all doing our best aren't we so let's
discuss on the comments below and I hope you enjoyed this video if you did don't
forget to give it a like and share it with your friends if you feel like they
might enjoy this debate as well don't forget to subscribe if you're new and I
will see you all in my next video bye