-Tonight was the second Democratic debate,
or, as nine candidates called it,
"Operation Destroy Joe Biden."
Everybody went after Biden, but he said,
with 10 people onstage, it was less of a debate
and more of like a lightning round
Or, in Bernie Sanders' case, a struck-by-lightning round.
Hey, you got to respect a guy who combs his
hair with a balloon.
You know what I'm saying?
Then he floats away like the old man from "Up."
It's amazing.
But it was a big night, and, in the end, a lot of people
thought Kamala Harris won the be debate.
She had what was probably -- [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. She had what was probably the line of the night.
At one point, all the candidates were talking over each other,
and that's when she stepped in and dropped the hammer.
Watch this.
-Part of the issue of -- Hey, guys, you know what?
America does not want to witness a food fight.
They want to know how we're going to
put food on their table.
-Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]
She was so good, Trump endorsed Biden
so that he wouldn't have to face her.
It's like, "Yeah, he's great."
Tonight, we got to see Bernie and Biden onstage together.
Yeah, here they are right there. Yeah.
It looks like they're debating Viagra versus Cialis.
Look, I'm not saying those two are old, but their podiums
were the only ones with tennis balls the bottom.
But get this -- there was a 40-year age difference
between tonight's candidates, ranging from 37 to 77.
With Pete Buttigieg next to Biden, it looked like
Take Your Kid to Work Day.
Speaking of Buttigieg, he said Democrats need to
move the party forward and claimed his opponents
want to return to the 1990s.
Hey, Pete, the top movies right now are
"Toy Story," "Men in Black," and "Aladdin."
We're already back in the '90s.
Sorry to say. [ Cheers and applause ]
Well, in addition to the front-runners,
we also got to know some of the underdogs,
and, early on, a lot of people noticed that one of them,
Andrew Yang, wasn't wearing a tie.
Take a look at this. Yeah.
When he realized you can go casual,
Biden tried to take off his pants,
and you go, "No, hey, you can't do that."
Finally, you guys, so much happened during
the two nights of the debate, it's hard to cover it all.
so I was thinking we could ask Tariq
for a debate rap recap.
I mean... [ Cheers and applause ]
I know the second debate just ended 30 minutes ago,
but, Tariq, what do you think, bud?
-I think we could pull that off. -All right. Let's do this.
Roots, hit it. ♪♪
♪ They were, unh ♪ ♪ They were, unh ♪
♪ They were short on time ♪
♪ 60 to respond before they pass the baton ♪
♪ Before the record flies by in a blink ♪
♪ But in Miami, all the views were stunning ♪
♪ Everyone you know was there,
'cause everyone you know was running ♪
♪ The first night, Liz Warren came out feelin' big ♪
♪ Dunkin' on those candidates like Zion in a wig ♪
♪ Cory Booker threw Shaft side-eye ♪
♪ I thought she spoke faster ♪
♪ With people on the stage like a Netflix password ♪
♪ Chuck Todd was focused ♪
♪ He avoided a snafu ♪
♪ Till it sounded like a microphone
turned on in the bathroom ♪
♪ Tonight, the moderators pretty much were irrelevant ♪
♪ 'Cause they were getting trampled
like the Dems were elephants ♪
♪ Kamala spoke about Trump ♪
♪ She asked if he pays enough ♪
♪ And smoked him out like she was in her blazer,
later blazin' up ♪
♪ Bernie Sanders said he's pollin' better Donald is ♪
♪ Then he yelled about it as if he was at the audiologist ♪
♪ Yang kept it cool ♪
♪ Mayor Pete kept it brainy ♪
♪ Joe's night was mainly rainy ♪
♪ Hey, what's up with John Delaney? ♪
♪♪
♪ Elizabeth Warren came ready for war ♪
♪ And the Beto O'Rourke camp is, "Sí, señor" ♪
♪ And foreign policy was on their minds ♪
♪ All the time ♪
♪ Are we in a case of blind leading blind? ♪
♪ Who will keep the people tight and safe at night? ♪
♪ Maybe Biden's teeth will be the guiding light ♪
♪ Food fights, zinger ♪
♪ Rachel put 'em through the ringer ♪
♪ Humdinger ♪
♪ Should they take another swing or call it quits? ♪
♪ I can do this all day and might slip ♪
♪ Might lose a grip ♪
♪ Might make a blooper disappear quick
like I'm Hickenlooper with the with the super-bang ♪
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪