Ain't no party like a weird food white elephant party
'cause a weird food white elephant party is the party that you are going to see
happen on your computer screen today as you watch this show.
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning.
And merry Christmas eve eve eve.
- Hmm. - And as is the tradition on every Christmas eve eve eve,
we're about to give you a great show.
We're going to be highlighting odd K-pop band,
testing out your very own Christmas food hacks on our mouths,
and sprinting through just about every New Years Eve tradition
as fast as humanly possible.
But this is also the season finale of season 12 of "Good Mythical Morning."
- ( vocalizing ) - And that's why we're wearing
our "Good Mythical Morning" sweatshirts.
Actually, I wanted to wear, but Link was like,
- "I want to wear it, too." - I wanted to wear one.
- And he was like, "I wanted to wear one, too." - Okay, we'll both wear.
- We'll both wear them. - We'll be in uniform.
Form.
That's what a season finale will do to you.
We will be back on Monday, January 8th with season 13.
Enjoy the archives in the meantime.
- Yeah. - But first, you probably know
that a white elephant gift exchange is a game where you give gag gifts.
- Mm-hmm. - You probably also are aware that we eat a lot of foods
on this show that make Link gag.
- And I gag from time to time. - Yeah.
So we thought we'd combine the two in...
Okay, we're joined by some mythical crew members,
- as well as Santa himself. - Wow.
- Okay, here's how-- - Look, guys, Santa's here.
Ho, ho, ho. It's been a bad year.
- Oh. - Santa's in a bad way.
Okay, here's how this is going to work.
All of these gifts under Santa's tree have food in them.
And it works just like white elephant.
So the person who goes first, which we drew ahead of time,
which will be me, I'll go first.
I will pick one of these,
but then the subsequent people have a chance to either steal my gift...
- Or get a new gift. - ...or get a new gift from Santa.
But if you get a new-- if you steal a gift,
the penalty is you have to eat one of Santa's cookies.
And, Santa, are those good cookies?
Nope. I made them myself with spoiled ingredients and hate.
- ( laughing ) - What happened to you this year, Santa?
- Made some bad investments. - ( laughter )
Now I got this sweet gig on this YouTube show
where I'm gonna get less hits than a cat that falls off a shelf.
- Ho, ho, ho. - ( laughter )
Incidentally, the presents aren't the only thing that contain prizes.
- Santa's beard also has some prizes. - Yeah, it does.
- What is that? Cheese puffs? - Don't touch it. I need it for later.
- ( laughing ) - Yeah, those are just for Santa.
Okay, what we're gonna do is we each have to sit in Santa's lap.
- Of course. - And then, make a decision of if we want to see
what's under Santa's tree, or steal that naughty child's meal.
And those are the words we have to use
- when talking to Santa. - Okay, I'm going first.
Lap him up, Santa.
Santa, I don't really have a choice because I'm going first,
so this boy...
wants to see what's under Santa's tree.
There you go, Johnny Internet. Have fun.
- ( laughing ) - Merry freaking Christmas.
- He's very... - Wow, you-- you really--
you're really exuding the spirit.
Okay, here we go. I'm going to open it to see exactly what we got here.
I was told to be gentle with it.
- Oh, it's just a-- - Clear box.
- It's just a cupcake. - Oh, a cupcake.
Okay, Ellie, you're going next, right?
- Yeah. - So you get to decide--
- well, you first got to sit on Santa's lap. - Well, on this show,
this could be a good cupcake or a bad cupcake,
- and I have no way of knowing. - Yeah.
I know what we've hidden in cupcakes before.
- Uh, hello. - ( laughter )
Um, can I see what's under your tree?
You look like my daughter the courts won't let me see.
Oh. Oh, well.
Wow, thank you so much, Santa.
You didn't spend much time on Santa's lap, Ellie.
- Well, you know, it's a fraught time. - Good choice. Good choice.
Why do all your employees look like professional hacky sack players?
( laughter )
These look like the kids I buy pills from behind the bowling alley.
- ( laughing ) - Yeah.
I think Mike was a professional skateboardist at one time.
- Never hacky sack. - Well, surprise, surprise.
- Never hacky sack? - No.
Link: Okay, so we've got a powdered donut.
The question is, what's that powder?
- I know. - Right?
I think I have an idea.
I mean, mine looks very harmless.
Okay, Mike, do you want the cupcake, the donut--
well, first you got to sit in his lap.
I was gonna say I want to sit on the lap.
- It's my choice. - You want to sit on the lap.
- Hello. - Honestly, I'm enjoying having a little bit of human contact.
Fair enough.
I'd love to see what's under your tree.
Nobody's stealing yet. Hmm.
Okay.
And I can't open it here, huh?
I mean, you can stick around if you want to.
- I'll come back later. - I'm enjoying having you in the jingle zone.
- ( laughter ) - I was thinking the same thing.
It's going to be hard to leave.
You didn't want to steal either, huh?
I mean, it's just we don't know anything about these.
- I think mine looks really good. - This is wrapped really tight.
Okay. Now that is-- I mean, I've eaten worse, I suppose.
Oh.
- What is that? - Is that a eggroll, a burrito, or a chalupa?
It's definitely a fried dough of some sort.
- Is it burned? - Somebody definitely made this here.
Okay, Alex. Lap time.
- ( chuckles ) - Hey, Santa.
All right.
I thought a lot about it, I'd love to steal that naughty kid's meal.
- Which one? - Um...
- ( laughter ) - Okay, that's assault. That's assault, Santa.
You can't-- I know it's been a rough year.
You can't just start throwing stuff.
- Just take a cookie! - Ugh.
- You smell like a brewery. - ( laughter )
I smell pretty good considering that I sleep in an irrigation ditch!
- Take a cookie! - Okay, thank you.
I'd, uh-- I think that the frosting could cut through badness
unless the frosting's bad, too.
- So I'll take that. - Okay.
- Of course-- - Thank you.
- You need to eat that. - Oh, do I?
- Finish-- finish the cookie. - Do I eat it on your--
Yeah, you have to finish it on my lap. Get back here!
( laughter )
Daddy needs a warm lap. Finish your cookie.
Oh, that's chewy.
I don't know what that is.
- Is it good? - It's not bad.
I'm afraid to know what it is though.
- I know what it is. - What is it?
You want to know what it is? Take another bite.
- No. - You'll need your energy for your drum circle later.
- ( laughter ) - Take a bite.
You know what it is? It's glue. That is a straight up glue cookie.
So you love eating glue?
I could do-- it's not that bad.
- Okay. - All right.
Well, no, so I have to replenish my gift now.
Mm-hmm. So you're gonna take a gift or are you gonna--
- I think you should steal. - I have inspected this donut,
and it looks like we didn't make it.
That's all I'm saying. I think it would be... ( clicks )
I think it's a good one.
She's deceptive. Women are deceptive.
- ( laughter ) - Yikes.
- Santa. - Yikes.
Just speaking from past experience. I've lived, okay?
- Okay. - You know what? I'm gonna take Mike's eggroll.
- Kinda bummed about that. - What?
- Hey, that's a good call. - You're taking the burnt, flattened eggroll?
- Yeah, 'cause I-- - I think you have sit on Santa's lap
- to take the eggroll. - Yeah, you gotta eat your cookie there, beardo.
Come on. Here you go.
This is a good one.
Looks moldy.
- Yeah, get a mouthful. - Big bite.
- What's happening to you? - What's that?
You want to know what that is? You want to know what that is?
- What's it taste like? - You want to know what that is?
- Guess. - Sawdust.
- Yeah, that's what it is. - Really?
- Yeah, sawdust. - ( laughter )
Like they used to clean up puke at the carnival.
- Sawdust. - Yeah.
I can taste it. It's not that bad.
I'm gonna set it right there.
- Mike? - So now I get another choice.
- Is that right? - Yeah, you gotta eat something.
Can I go back on the lap?
- Yeah, you can go. - I don't know. Can he come back on your lap?
- Hell, yeah. - I will choose to do that once more.
( sighs ) It seems like you're just gonna give me that, so I'll take it.
Yeah. Here you go, hot stuff.
- Thank you. Oh, it's heavy. - A big one.
And I'll wait one second here.
This is really nice. I'm enjoying the intimacy.
( exhales sharply ) Okay.
Did you lay an egg?
I'll keep that between us.
I don't want to know what just happened.
He gave me a Dutch lap.
( laughter )
Okay, it's just a bigger eggroll.
- ( laughter ) - Really? I can't see it.
Oh, that's a burrito.
- Okay. So I'm up. - Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Get over here.
It's like getting a lap dance from a more ungainly Elvis Costello.
( laughter )
"A more ungainly."
Wow, this-- there's a lot of teetering going on here.
- Whoa. - I have a lot or artificial joints.
( laughing ) I can hear them. Oh, I have to make a choice.
- Yes, you do. - Yeah, I mean, whatever.
They're paying me by the hour, so take your time.
Do whatevs.
Well, that's a big, square one.
I promise you they didn't make this.
I will steal that naughty child's meal.
( laughing ) Oh, God. What a weird experience.
- Here you go. - All right, so I got this.
It's cookie time, though.
- It smells just like a cookie. - Mm-hmm.
Very chewy.
You want to know what that is? You want to know what that is?
You want to know what that is?
- Guess. Guess. - Shortbread?
- No, it's frog's legs. - Seriously?
Frog meat. It's a frog meat cookie.
- It's very chewy. Frog meat cookie. - Yeah.
- Mm. - Now you can have the rest.
Oh. That was-- oh, my gosh.
- All right, Ellie. - This better be good.
- Hello again, sir. - Oh.
Okay, um, I would like to see what's underneath your tree.
Reach over there.
I seriously can't get over there. I'm too tired.
- All right. ( groans ) - I had-- I had a rough night.
Wow, this is the big one.
I love a big gift.
My love language is gifts.
So... wow.
- Very meticulous in your opening. - You know, you can't--
you can't keep that paper, Ellie.
- ( laughter ) - No, you can't keep it for yourself.
- I have so many Christmas presents. - Not allowing that.
- Oh, a whole pie. Okay. - Gracious!
- Oh, my. - Yeah!
Whatever that is, it's the biggest.
Oh, boy.
Can you look in the crack and see anything?
Yeah, I mean, it looks like fruit.
It looks like a fruit pie.
but I am super, super stressed out about it.
- No. - Okay, so now we're back to Rhett
because as the final round, you get to make a final choice.
Do you want to keep whatever version of an eggroll that is?
Getting a closer look at my donut.
Do you want to steal any naughty child's meal?
- Man. - I feel like they wouldn't--
- I'll trade with you. - You trade with me?
- Yeah. - You have to eat a cookie.
- And I'll eat another cookie. - I feel like...
I did a good thing. A good thing was just done to me.
- Oh, fish eggs? - Yeah, fish eggs.
( laughter )
Right? Come on, too slow!
- ( laughter ) - Yeah.
- That was a mistake. - All right, it's time to eat.
Santa's got to be in Chatsworth by 4:00.
( laughter )
- All right, Ellie, go for it. - All right.
Thank you.
I don't really know how to just eat into a pie.
- Oh. - It looks so normal.
Yeah, it do--
Eat it!
- Just a regular cherry pie. - Oh, Ellie!
- Dang! - What fun.
- Lucky. - Good. I don't like cherries.
- Okay, Mike. - Well, that means this is probably bad now, huh?
Now it's time for the Warped Tour roadies to go.
( laughter )
RIP. Hmm.
Big old bite.
- There's something-- there's something in there. - You feeling of it?
- Yep, I'm sure there is. - Maybe bite the side.
- Like, go-- yeah. - Come on, man.
Yes. Yes!
- Guys. - Ho, ho, ho. It's dog food.
- It's a dog food burrito. - ( laughter )
- I can't do it. - Which some of us have had to eat in hard times.
- I won't do it. - So don't be a snob.
He can spit it right back into the thing.
- ( groans ) - ( laughter )
- Ugh. I still might puke. - Oh!
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Use the can.
- No, fill the box with puke. - Use the box to puke.
Oh, it's in the mustache.
Ugh!
- That was good. - Okay, Alex.
Mine smells very sour.
And I don't really think this is frosting at all,
now is it, Santa?
- Okay, right. - ( laughing )
- I didn't think so. - I can see the anger in your eyes a little bit.
Huh? Huh?
It tastes kinda normal to me.
It was a cupcake with mayonnaise icing.
- Oh! - Mayonnaise ic-- okay, that's cool.
- I invented it. - You like it?
Yeah, tasty. You did a great job.
- That's middle of the road, you know? - Yeah.
That's kind of a middle of the road thing.
That's kinda-- it's like sour cream icing.
- Thanks, Santa. - Who knew? Mayonnaise icing.
That does not bode well for either of us, Link.
- Good idea, Santa. - I got the idea from Guy Fieri's Christmas letter.
( laughter )
- Okay. - He's not getting it though. He's been a bad boy.
I'm going in on the eggroll.
Now see, my instinct was that that was just a normal eggroll.
Go for the middle.
- Ew! - That's not a normal eggroll.
- Oh, no. - I think it's spicy.
- Oh, no! - I think that's a straight--
- ( gags ) What is it? - Ho, ho, ho.
It's an eggroll filled with sardines and jalapenos.
( laughter )
Fill the box with puke!
- Ugh! - ( laughter )
- Uh... - Ellie: Wow, Merry Christmas, Link.
( gagging )
Okay. Oh, you're just throwing the whole thing away, okay.
I'm going in for my donut.
- Now if Ellie is correct, that is a-- - Don't look.
- Just bite it. - Bite in.
Big bite.
Good gracious, that's a big bite.
Ugh! ( gagging )
( laughter )
- You better be glad you got rid of whatever that is. - Is it malic acid?
- What is it? - Ho, ho, ho.
It's a donut filled with bugs.
- ( retching ) - Oh, God!
- But they're-- - I thought the top was all gonna be malic acid.
But it's horrible. Like, I've eaten a lot of bugs,
but there's something wrong with these ones.
- Ugh! - They're all the bugs that died in my tent last night.
- ( laughter ) - That's right. I sleep in a tent!
- Ugh! - Okay. Hey, thanks guys
for spending some quality time with us and Santa.
And, Santa, uh,
- you're welcome any time. - Pfft.
Stick around for the next segment where Rhett tests my knowledge
of weird Korean K-pop music.
Rhett:
with this new GMM crewneck sweatshirt
available at mythical.store.