Heya playa, do you have a crush on someone that you're trying to get closer to but you're not
really getting that feeling back from them? In fact, they might have even said something
like they just don't feel that spark between the two of you.
That is a tough spot to navigate and there are four potential reasons why you might be in that
place so I want to walk you through what they are and what you can do to get them to like you back.
Just because you have super strong feelings for someone doesn't mean
that they're going to automatically like you back in the exact same way.
A lot of times it's going to require effort and energy and
patience to really get them on board to feeling the way that you do.
But on that journey stumbling across even just one of these roadblocks can
totally kill that spark so the first thing you're going to want to look out
for is being too cautious to express yourself whenever you're around her.
I see this happen all the time.
Trust me, I've been there before.
You overthink what you want to say,
you're afraid to open your mouth because you don't want to make a bad impression on them.
If you say something that they don't think is funny or cool
they may not like you so sometimes it's safer to just keep quiet.
And while this is the safe play to make, it's not the confident one.
By not saying anything you're actually not showing her that
you stand firm behind your beliefs and opinions.
You're not teasing her, you're not playing with her,
you're not creating a bit of tension to give her a reason to like you back.
So what you're gonna be looking like is just a guy who's there.
You're standing around, you're not saying much,
sometimes that can come off looking creepy or weird or even desperate.
Being expressive and open is a really good step to take with a person that you like
but there can be a point where you overstep boundaries and if that happens it can lead to
reason number two that might kill the spark she doesn't feel like you're gonna meet her needs.
Now you might be thinking well what if she doesn't meet my needs?
And that can be part of the problem.
You see, you can express what you're looking for in a partner.
I want a girl who does this, I want a girl who's focused on this and all those different pieces but
you have to be open to hear what she also wants in a partner and
be willing to kind of talk things through.
That's what makes for a successful relationship.
There are plenty of guys who have very rigid
and structured stances about what a girlfriend should do.
If I'm with the girl she's gonna be my queen, she's gotta cook for me,
she's gotta clean for me, she's gotta support my dreams no matter what they are.
And look, there's no shortage of girls who have their own rigid standards but what you're actually
asking for is a person to adapt, to learn, and to grow into the type of partner that you want.
So it only makes sense to think "Am I willing to do that for this girl too?".
And if she feels like you're not, like you're someone who's just unwilling to
change or learn and grow then yeah that spark is gonna totally poof, disappear.
And as the two of you learn more and more about each other you're going to discover
really quickly whether you both have the same idea of what a relationship looks like
and if you don't that's going to lead to reason
number three that might kill the spark they can't imagine a future with you.
Look I'm going to be real with you here.
I'm not going to pretend like one of the reasons why you want to date her
is not because she's physically attractive and you want to have a sexual relationship with her.
Sometimes that's the driving force behind pursuing her but if she feels like that's
all you're after like you're seeing her as a sexual object or some kind of conquest
then that might totally turn her off.
It might completely kill the spark because she feels like you're just not on the same page.
If she's not looking for any kind of commitment,
no problems there, do your thing but if she is that's going to change the game.
So, you want to be open and upfront about what you're looking for.
Don't lead her on, don't pretend and play along to what she wants just so
you can get what you want because not only is it a jerk move to make
but you're also going to show her that you are not someone who sticks around.
Maybe that word might travel around, you might get a reputation or you might actually hurt her
in the process and there's no point in damaging someone just because you want to be selfish.
But reason number four is the one I really wanted to kind of
get to because it's the most hard-hitting bitter truth we need to sometimes accept.
The reason why there's no spark there is because she's not physically attracted to you.
It could be any number of things: your physical appearance, your height, your breath,
the way that you talk, the way that you sound, how you interact with people, no matter what it is
there's something there that's just not catching her attention and not creating that spark.
The good news is there are a few things you can
do to improve your physical appearance and that's called looksmaxxing.
That might mean exercising more to improve your body shape but to feel better about how you look.
It could be dressing better,
going to someone and asking for tips on clothes that fit your body well.
It might mean sleeping more to get rid of any under-eye bags that you may have or eating a
healthier diet to clear up your skin and remove any potential acne you may get in the future.
I think for most guys just taking those small steps can have a massive
improvement in their dating success and if not in dating
at least you're gonna feel better about yourself knowing you're prioritizing yourself,
you're putting self-care at the forefront and that's always a positive thing to do.
But sometimes the girl just isn't into you like that.
The spark isn't there.
Maybe the two of you have really awesome conversations and she opens up to you and
shares her deepest darkest feelings but she only sees you as a friend.
That's when you need to kind of reevaluate the situation.
Do you want to fall into the friend zone or do you want to pursue someone new?
I, personally would say to work on yourself, improve your looks, improve your interactions,
be more open when you talk to people, be more confident in sharing how you feel,
and find someone that can value you just like you will value them.
On that note check out the videos over there on the side where I'm going to talk
more about connecting with your crush, how to build that relationship, and make it work.
Check those videos out and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.