Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s, Naked Truth, Trisha
Hershberger here.
I want to give a big shout out and thank you to our,
Naked Army Vloggers, from last week.
Their videos are linked in the
description below.
Thats, Kavaja, Nathan, Dominic, Pat, Richard, Jayms,
Hiram, Prescott & Kristen, Nelson, Lawrence, Benny, Julia, Colin, Jenny
and Michael.
I thought that I said Jenny twice, but no I said, Benny, and I
said, Jenny.
I’m second guessing myself.
I don’t know if you guys can hear
in the background, well I’m sure you can see, in the background there’s still
a bed made because I still have house guests or if you can hear baby,
Sammy, crying in the background because he’s having a little bit of a fit
right now.
But yeah that’s whats going on in my life.
But I wanted this week
to respond to, Kurt Burgess, who said, “Hey Trisha, could you do a video
on virginity?”
The reason I kind of paused before I said that is this is one
that I was unsure if I wanted to tell.
I mean, not really everybody is like,
“Hey I’m going to go on the internet and tell the story of how I lost my
viriginity.”
But I thought, if it helps anyone else at all, if they’re kind of
deciding if it’s the right time for them, or what not, that maybe I could share
my experience and hopefully that would help you guys, where ever you are
in life.
So, for the purposes of this video I am talking about vaginal
penitration virginity, so penis and vagina virginity.
I’m not talking about other
intimate acts.
I know some people have different definitions for that.
But
thats what we are talking about for this video.
So, lets start off with my
story.
My story, I waited until I was 21 before I lost my virginity, which I
know the national average is around 17 years old for both men and women.
I think it’s like 16.9 for men and 17.4 for women, or something like that.
So I
was a bit of a late blummer in comparison to the average and it was
something that I put a lot of emphasis on, on myself.
I thought people
weren’t gonna want to date me if they knew that, or some other people
would want to date me just because of that and not in a healthy way, in a
box to check off the list kind of way.
No pun intended.
So I was, you know,
really worried about it and I personally waited that long not because of
religious reasons but because I thought, well if something, if I do happen to
get pregnant or you know if something happens I want to be in a situation
where I feel like I can deal with the consequences.
At 21 I was a senior in
college and I thought, should anything happen at least this way I can finish
school and get my degree and deal with it as an adult, as a grown up.
So
that’s kind of what made it work for me.
I was seeing someone in a
monogonis relationship at the time, my college boyfriend.
He was
experienced in that department where I was not and we talked about it
ahead of time and I said, “I think I might be ready for this.”
And we didn’t do
rose pedals on the bed or even say, “Oh, it’s definitly going to happen this
specific day.”
We just kind of talked about it and I told him I was okay with it
and we talked about where eachother was at.
And then there was one night
when I thought we were just being intimate in other ways and then suprise
and it happened.
And it wasn’t like a bad suprise or anything like that but it
was definitly a new experience for me.
And afterwards I kind of had this
feeling of like, “Oh, is that it?”
And not because it was a bad expereince or
anything just because I waited my entire life for this thing that I had
treasured and valued and thought was built up so much in my mind and
then it was just kind of like, “ehh.”
And then the next day after, and a couple
days after, I started feeling really sad.
I felt like I had given up this part of
myself, and again not in a religious way, but I felt like, “Wow for 21 years of
my life I’ve been able to say I’m a virgin and now I can’t and that’s kind of
sad.
Did I give up a part of who I am?”
I felt very conflicted over it and then
immediatly started dealing with some after math, I didn’t get pregnant right
away or anything, but I got a bladder infection right away.
When I went for
my yearly check ups I started checking abnormal, like all this stuff.
I was
like, “Man this is so overly complicated and totally not worth it.”
Not to say
that it’s bad or not worth it but that was the experience that I felt and
obviously kind of after I got over the, “this is a new thing” jitters, it got better.
But that was my experience with it and I mean, I don’t know, I would just
say to anybody out there, if you are considering if maybe this is the time for
you or if its something that has been on your mind a bit lately don’t worry
about if you’re over the average age because no one is more concerned
about it than you are.
I feel like we place this importance on it that no one
else really does and it’s a really big deal to you but everyone else is kind of
okay with it.
So don’t let that influence you.
And I would say, before you go
ahead and do it the first time make sure you’re prepared.
Make sure that
you are comfortable with the idea of doing that.
Don’t feel like you have to
do it because you owe it to somebody else or anything like that.
Make sure
you’re 100 percent mentally and emotionally in a state where it’s okay for
you.
And like I said for me that was, because I’m a very logical planner, for
me that was know that if there were any consequences I independently
could deal with that.
But I’m sure that’s different for a lot of different people
depending on where you are mentally and emotionally, etc.
Make sure that
you talk to your partner before hand.
I definitly did that to make sure we
were on that same page so no one was suprised.
And make sure that you
and your partner are strong enough that if the negative things do come out
of it like you get a bladder infection or if god forbid you got pregnant or you
got some kind of a disease you guys would be able to talk about that
together.
It wouldn’t be like you by yourself and them by themselves
because you abandon each other.
So that communication really should be
there before you venture into that serious territory.
Also make sure you plan
a time when there will be private time for you because I can’t imagine it
being your first time and getting inturupted by somebody else or something
else, that would be awful.
I would also say make sure obviously that you
plan to be safe and whether that’s birth control or other types of disease
prevention make sure that you’re being safe and taking care of yourself
because god forbid something awful happens then you will really feel like it
wasn’t worth it.
Just take care of you, that’s a good rule of thumb.
Then I
would say, advice for during, advice for in the bedroom and during the
actual act, especially for your first time, make sure that the engines are
reved up guys.
It’s going to physically make things go a lot better for you.
What I mean by that is, do your foreplay, put in the time.
Make sure you’re
both comfortable and feeling romantic and intimate and in the mood
because our bodies are naturally ready to go in that state and that’s just
going to make things a lot easier physically.
So yeah, that’s my story and
that’s my advice for what it’s worth.
I know everyone’s experience is
completely different and I always imagined for me that it would be with this
person that I’m going to be with forever and ever and there might be rose
pedals on the bed and my favorite love mix playing in the background and it
was going to be this wonderful grand fireworks in the sky thing.
And when it
wasn’t all of that I felt a little bit let down.
But I think it’s important to be
realistic about things and to be prepared for things.
So my question to you
guys is, is virginity a big deal to you?
Whether you are still a virgin whether
you’re not a virgin, whatever.
Do you think it’s a big deal, why or why not?
Please answer that in your own, Naked Truth, vlog and you can upload that
to, YouTube, and share the link with me via, For Business Inquries, link in
the, About, section of this channel.
Alright guys, thanks so much and I look
forward to the comments and videos this week.
Take care, I’ll see you next
week.