Hey guys! So it's time to delve into the past
Ok, not with actual time travel, not this time
But I have been reminiscing about my childhood after I found some old photos
Check out baby Phil
You're all so jealous about that orange hair I'm gonna have to get rid of the picture
There we go, jealousy fading
So I thought I'd use this excuse to tell you some more reasons of why I was a weird kid
Not sure why I'm sharing this with the Internet, so let's get going before I change my mind
Shower
Up until the age of about 14 I sat down in the shower
and this wasn't just a single event
every single shower I had
I was sat down, I don't know why I was sat down!
Maybe I was just too lazy to stand up for five minutes
maybe this was the origin of my laziness
Can I just make a side note that now I do definitely shower stood up
and also I shower with my back to the water and it's insane to me that anyone would shower any other way
I know like 50% percent of people shower with the water facing their faces
Why do you do that?!
Firstly, you've got the water spraying into your eyes
and secondly you're leaving your naked back exposed for serial killers
shower ghosts, wild boars
[Music]
Ok, back to why I was a weird kid
Numbero two
whoa
Lies
So when I was aged about 5 or 6 in primary school
I would tell the weirdest lies ever, for no particular reason at all
Some classic examples are
Hey Phil, is your dad picking you up from school?
Yeah, stepdad
[Music]
Yeah, I'm actually half American. Sometimes I just slip totally back into it
[Music]
No, I've got two brothers. The other one is in prison
[Music]
So the weirdest one is when I went back to primary school in September when I was about 7
I started a new class and I came to school wearing this yellow wristband
that I'd found at home
and this is how I explained it to people
Hey what's that thing in your arm?
Oh this? It's cause I have type X negative blood
Yes, rarest type in the world
Wow, that's really horrific
Yeah if I get a nose bleed I'd probably died
so I have to wear this as a nose bleed alert
[Music]
Nose bleed alert [Laughs] I think I was just trying to get loads of attention
which links us nicely into my next story
Arm
I had an uncontrollable urge to have a broken arm
So my best friend at school fell out of a tree
and broke his arm
and he got to go to hospital, when he came back he had a bright green cast on his arm
and everyone signed his cast and he instantly became the coolest kid in school that day
and I wanted that
I wanted that so badly!
I didn't want to physically hurt myself on purpose so it would have to happen in an accident
But I was just willing for that accident to happen
I've got a really clear memory of going to a wishing well with my parents and we all flicked coins into it to make a wish
And I flicked mine in and I whispered
"I want to break my arm this year "
strange man: what did you say son? (accent)
Little smol Phil: I want to know the taste of..beer
strange man: Don't worry lad, you will one day.
(°<°) "I wish I was a goose" (°<°)
alas I never got an broken arm and had a broken arm free childhood
Until I got to university and broke my hand in the first week
In a piggy-back race
but that's another story 'doh
*stranger man/goose noice*
The fly
So when I was about about six I found what was probably a dying or disabled fly
on my window sill
So it was just kinda schoffeling himself along when I went near it it didn't fly away
so I thought
*** NEW PET!! ***
if I zoomed in on with a microscope it would probably just be just like
*weird voice* Kill mEY..
I named him mister Fly and I got my mom to give me a little plastic box which I put holes in the top
and I fed him jam on a pencil
Little smol Phil: Hello new best friend!
I remember stroking his little head sometimes
*sounds of disgust*
So I decided after about 3 days that mister Fly had been re-ablilitated
so I decided to set him free into the wild like a nature documentary
*heroic music* so I opened the window, picked up mister Fly and threw him out into the sky
to be free in your natural habitat!
except that didn't happen as he just bounced of the roof and drowned in the gutter
*sad music* *one minute of silence for mister Fly*
*Whispers: Rest In Peace mister Fly.. so sorry.. :'(
So there we go hope your childhood seem relatively normal now
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tu tu tu tu tutum
Today's Draw Phil Naked issss...
*fanceY music*
bye guyz..
(amazing song about amazing phil if someone knows the title pls tell me )