Questioner: Sadhguru, what is the exact nature of the relationship between any Guru and his disciple?
Is the Guru an authoritarian, a parent, a friend?
Sadhguru: This is the corniest question you can ask (Laughs).
Friend - I am willing to be but I am not actually (Few laugh).
If I be your friend it’s good for me but not at all good for you
because a friend means what?
Somebody who supports you in your limitations, somebody who makes you feel comfortable,
somebody who sustains your ego.
Would you make friendship with somebody who punctures your ego?
You will not.
Somebody who shores up your ego, somebody who buttresses your ego, that is the one whom
you would choose as a friend. So friend - definitely not.
That you must know by now (Few Laugh). Parent
- I have great regard and reverence for mine and yours but (Laughs)… but parenthood happened
out of certain ignorance, out of certain compulsions.
Most people didn’t know what they were doing (Laughs).
You were ten, twelve years of age, you were just fine.
You became fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, your very innard got… innards got poisoned with
other kinds of chemicals.
Suddenly you looked at this woman, all kinds of things happened (Laughter).
You looked at this man, all kinds of things happened.
They were quite okay just last year but now suddenly you look, suddenly everything looks somehow.
Somehow from within you got poisoned in such a way that everything started looking in a certain way.
You will see once this hormonal hijack is over you look at everybody, everybody looks normal (Laughter).
You look at a man or a woman, they look just normal.
When this was on, you looked at them, they look like fire (Laughter).
It consumed you, it was not unreal, it was real. It was very real, isn't it (Laughs)?
So parents are generally people who are trying to do all the things that they could not do
in their own lives through their children, normally, not always.
Some of them are here so… you know we keep seeing this - our school teachers coming to
me, people who are running the school come and tell me… you know, we made it very clear
to the parents, once you put your child into Isha Home School we are not going to give you a marks card.
We are not going to put up a marks card and say your child is better than somebody else’s child.
Everything is being done, a great amount of striving to see that the child flowers.
Many things, very elaborate things are being done which very few schools in the world can ever do.
But slowly, you know, pare… they are okay they know it's nice, children are developing well.
They are physically, mentally they seem to be much more mature than themselves, which
is very threatening but…
(Laughter) all that is fine but when they go back for the vacation the neighboring…
the neighbors’ children they say “We got ninety-two (Laughter), what is your number?”
Our kids don't know what number they belong to, they… “What number? We don’t have numbers” (Laughs).
So parents feel very diffident “My child doesn’t have a better number.”
So they come back and they get worked up and they come and say “No, no, this should happen.
My child is not doing as well as he could.
If my child goes to some other school he would get hundred out of hundred.”
Then I… I told them next time if somebody raises this, just tell the parents, first bring their marks cards
(Applause).
All the parents should bring their mark sheets, let's see how much they got (Laughter).
We’ll say it's just genetic (Laughter/Applause).
If your child got twenty-three instead of ninety-two it's genetic problem, you know (Laughter).
So, one or two parents once you ask this question the rumor spreads on “They are going to
ask for your marks card, don’t (Laughter)… don’t ever ask about your children.”
So parent - definitely not. Authoritarian - I think I fit into that (Laughter).
An authoritarian means… usually you think authoritarian means a Hitler, a Stalin or
a Mussolini or somebody else like that.
No, they really had no control over anything. All the time things were freaking around them.
They were trying to keep control in the most violent ways but they never had control over anything.
Yes? Things were always falling apart around them but I think I fit into that label much better than them
because when it comes to life doesn’t matter what you say, what you think, what you do,
what I say will happen, when it comes to life, fundamental life (Applause).
So I am an authoritarian because I don't listen to anybody.
With simple things of life even if a child speaks I will listen with great respect
but when it comes to certain aspects of life it doesn’t matter who, if God comes I will
not listen to him because I know better than him.
This sounds absolutely egoistic, stupid, Mike Tyson-like (Laughter) but what can I do, it's true (Laughs).
So when it comes to life, fundamental life, I am an absolute authoritarian, there is no
question, there’re no two ways about it. You quote the scripture to me, I will dismiss it.
You bring your pundit to me, I will dismiss him.
You bring anybody to me - you wake Buddha up from his grave and bring him, I’ll still
dismiss him unless he agrees with me (Few laugh).
So I am a total authoritarian when it comes to life.
I think I fit into that label better than anything else. Is that okay with you (Laughter/Applause)?