As its iconic theme song states, South Park is full of friendly faces everywhere. Over
the course of its soon to be 26 seasons, we've seen many friendships develop between
both the children and adults in this quiet mountain town. Given its long run on the air,
many of these friendships have gone through their ups and downs with some naturally being
on much better terms than others. Which of these friendships rank as the healthiest and
which ones leave us questioning if we can really even call it a friendship?
I'm Kyle with WickedBinge and this is South Park Friendships: Healthy to Toxic.
As usual, we’ll be starting with the best, healthiest friendship in
town and working our way down to the most toxic. These friendships are The Healthy.
The Gold Medal for the Healthiest Friendship easily goes to the relationship between the
two main characters, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski. The characters in South Park
have undergone a lot of development over the several decades of the show’s run but a few
elements have remained the same from the very beginning. One such element is the very strong
friendship between Stan and Kyle which has been present ever since Cartman Gets An Anal Probe.
Stan and Kyle have very similar personalities and morals, making it easy to see why they
get along so well. It’s common knowledge amongst South Park fans that Stan and Kyle are based off
of the two creators of the show, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, with their professional relationship
mirroring the kids’ relationship on screen. Stan and Kyle do have moments where they butt
heads with each other but that is only natural for two kids who spend this much time together.
It doesn’t stop this friendship from easily obtaining the Gold Medal in the Healthy category.
This may be a controversial choice but we’re giving the Silver Medal of Healthiest Friendship
to Timmy Burch and Jimmy Valmer. Timmy and Jimmy did get off to a rough start with each other
with Timmy becoming very jealous over Jimmy’s popularity among the Mountain Scouts. In fact,
there was a pretty brutal physical fight. After their initial friction,
Timmy and Jimmy apparently became close friends and have remained that
way ever since. They’re often seen working together whether that be at summer camp,
working on a science project about water bears or creating a club for people who were disabled
at birth. The positivity of their friendship often spreads to those around them, even being enough to
convince the Crips and the Bloods to get along with each other. Timmy and Jimmy still aren’t
afraid to challenge each other, such as when Timmy confronts Jimmy about his steroid use.
While that does cause friction between them it does show how much Timmy has come around
to caring about Jimmy. If it wasn’t for this friendship’s rocky beginnings, we might have
even given it the Gold Medal. As it stands, it’s a strong runner up and nabs an easy Silver Medal.
We’re giving the Bronze Medal of Healthiest Friendship to Kenny McCormick and Butters
Stotch. It might seem like an odd choice to rank this friendship so high up, as Kenny and
Butters aren’t seen interacting a whole lot over the course of the series. However, what
this friendship lacks in frequency it makes up for in healthiness. Ironically, Butters was initially
Kenny’s replacement after the creators attempted to permanently kill Kenny near the end of season
five. Once Kenny rejoined the cast for season seven, Butters remained prominent among the show’s
cast almost becoming a fifth main character. Most kids are seen beating down on Butters on several
occasions but Kenny never seems to stoop to that level. Butters claims Kenny to be his best and
most mature classmate in the episode Going Native, showing there is a certain amount of respect
between the two. Butters also will help Kenny if he’s in a bad place, such as when he comforts
Kenny after the latter becomes a cat pee addict. Kenny and Butters are considered by many fans to
be the two most moral children in South Park so it does make sense that they do get along so well.
Next up we are looking at the friendship between Terrance and Philip. We’ve seen
enough of Terrance and Philip’s behind the scenes interactions to confirm that there is some genuine
comradery between them beyond their television personalities. In fact, Terrance and Philip are
the rare comedy duo that portrays their on screen relationship very similarly to their off screen
relationship. It’s true that many around them find Terrance and Philip rude and obnoxious due
to their constant farting on each other and anyone else in their general vicinity. With that said,
Terrance and Philip have no ill intent and are usually looking to make each other and
their audience laugh. As crude as the nature of their friendship is, Terrance and Philip
managed to stay together throughout the years with only one small rift wherein Philip left
Terrance to perform Shakespeare during the episode Terrance and Philip: Behind the Blow.
Next, we have a double ranking as we look at Kenny's Friendship with Stan and Kenny's
Friendship with Kyle collectively. We're ranking these two Friendships together as Stan and Kyle
both treat Kenny very similarly on account of the two having very similar personalities. While not
as close to Stan and Kyle as they are to each other, Kenny often accompanies the two along
with Cartman on many different misadventures around South Park. Kenny often ends up in
the worst shape, often dying in the process of their journey. Still, while he's alive, Kenny
demonstrates a lot of loyalty and respect toward Stan and Kyle, much more than Cartman ever does.
Stan and Kyle consider Kenny one of the best kids in South Park and frequently berate Butters for
not living up to the high standard Kenny set as a friend. The only reason this Friendship
doesn't rank higher in the Healthy category is due to Stan and Kyle's occasional odd
reactions to Kenny's many deaths. While they often act shocked and despaired initially,
there have been a few times where they have acted indifferently or even laughed at Kenny's demise.
I guess no harm done since Kenny always comes back anyway but still, that's pretty messed up.
Butters' Friendship with Dougie O'Connell comes in next. Both Butters and Dougie are introduced
as friends of Pip in the episode Two Naked Guys in a Hot Tub. While neither character
was seen interacting with Pip much after that, Butters and Dougie did seem to develop
a strong friendship afterward. When Butters is fired as Kenny's replacement in season 6,
he plots with Dougie to take revenge as the two dawn the personas of Professor
Chaos and General Disarray. Butters and Dougie are both often picked on by other
characters despite being good hearted so it makes sense that they would be good friends
with each other. The only thing that prevents this Friendship from ranking higher is the
number of evil plots they attempted to unfold as Professor Chaos and General Disarray. Granted,
all the schemes failed but it still sort of makes them partners in... attempted crime?
Rounding off the Healthy category we have the Friendship between Jimbo and Ned. Two friends who
met in the Vietnam war, Jimbo and Ned are a couple of cliche “rednecks” who love guns, beer and
explosives. It’s true that they do hunt and own a gun shop together, Ned and Jimbo’s Friendship
obviously predates their business partnership. In any case, Ned and Jimbo do seem to get along quite
well and have an inseparable bond. The reason we rank them at the bottom of the Healthy category
is because there are instances where Ned and Jimbo have done some questionable actions.
This includes taking the kids on a dangerous hunting expedition, killing Kenny and teaching
Cartman to spy on Scott Tenorman only to end up watching his parents having sex. When they’re
not acting wildly irresponsibly around children, Jimbo and Ned do have a very solid friendship.
That does it for the Healthy category so let’s move onto the Gray Area. These
are Friendships which aren’t totally broken but do need some serious work.
At the top of the Gray Area, we get to our second double ranking, Butters’ Friendship with Stan and
Butters’ Friendship with Kyle. Much like Stan and Kyle’s Friendships with Kenny,
we’re ranking these Friendships together as the two have very similar relationships
with Butters. From Butters’ introduction in the series Stan apparently already had a disliking
for him, referring to him, Dougie and Pip as “Melvins.” Even when Butters replaces Kenny
as the fourth friend in the group, Stan and Kyle berate him along with Cartman
and collectively kick Butters out of the circle for being “lame.” As the series has progressed,
Stan and Kyle’s relationship with Butters has gotten better. They both stick up for
Butters when the other kids are bullying him for not having kissed a girl and they also
postpone a trip to Casa Bonita due to worry when Butters goes missing. With that said,
Kyle and Stan do occasionally still manipulate Butters such as when they get him to dress up as
a squirrel to take a picture with Britney Spears. Even though these two Friendships have come a
long way, they have to come a little further for us to rank them in the Healthy category.
Rounding out the Gray Area we have The Goth Kids’ Friendship with Each Other. Henrietta, Michael,
Pete and Firkle are four kids who are almost always seen together and with no one else. Because
of this, we feel it’s fair to rank all of their Friendships with each other together, especially
since they are so similar. The Goth Kids are united by their hate for conformity
which caused them to break off from regular society and create a group where they all dress,
act and like the same things as each other. It’s undeniable that the Goth Kids have a strong bond
with each other and despite what they may want to believe, they are harmless. For that reason we
can’t put this friend group in the purely toxic section. Their goal to make everyone
else around them miserable is enough to land them at the bottom of the Gray Area though.
With our very modest Grey Area complete, we now head into our Toxic Friendships
category... Spoiler: we’re going to be talking about Cartman a lot in this section.
Speaking of which, we’re starting off the Toxic category with Cartman and Stan’s Friendship.
Cartman doesn’t have a Healthy Friendship with any of the other main characters, but out of
all of them, we’d say his relationship with Stan is on the best terms. That’s not saying much as
Stan still thinks Cartman is an idiot, though he does have more tolerance for his idiocy than Kyle.
Cartman also does occasionally tease Stan such as in the episode Rainforest Shmainforest where he
mocks him for being a “wuss.” Despite this, Cartman does occasionally show interest in
becoming closer friends with Stan and seems to blame Kyle for preventing this from being
achievable. Cartman seems to have more respect for Stan than he does for Kyle or Kenny even
if there is still tension in this Friendship that lands it firmly in the Toxic section.
Moving on to another main cast dynamic, next we’re covering Cartman and Kenny’s Friendship. It’s very
clear that Stan and Kyle are best friends so it makes sense that the other two group members,
Cartman and Kenny, are often seen as best friends as well. Despite this,
we rank Cartman’s Friendship with Kenny even lower than his one with Stan due to how poorly
Cartman treats Kenny. On top of always making fun of him for being poor, Cartman often puts
Kenny in dangerous situations that lead to the latter’s demise. Also, while Stan and Kyle
have laughed at Kenny’s deaths on occasion, they have shown concern for him in other situations.
Cartman never seems to care about Kenny’s demise and even will use his fate for his own personal
gain, such as when he used it to sell stem cells. This Friendship misses out on the
bottom three because from the other perspective, Kenny is inexplicably a good friend to Cartman.
Kenny even wills Cartman his PSP out of pity even if he admits he never liked him in life.
Good on Kenny as always but the poor kid really needs to find a new best friend.
Taking a brief break from Cartman, the Bronze Medal of Toxicity goes to the Friendship
between Nathan and Mimsey. Modeled after The Looney Tunes characters Rocky and Mugsy,
Nathan and Mimsey are two handicapped children who often serve as rivals to Jimmy and Timmy.
While Nathan seems to harbour severe hatred and jealousy towards Jimmy in particular,
Mimsey seems less driven by hatred and more or less follows Nathan’s lead due
to being very gullible. Nathan treats Mimsey as his lacky and often slaps him and tells him
to shut up. We had to rank this Friendship so low as we can’t think of many redeeming
factors. Nathan is manipulative, physically abusive and condescending toward Mimsey and
the fact their Friendship is mostly built off of hatred toward Jimmy makes it even worse.
The Silver Medal of Toxicity goes to Cartman’s Friendship with Butters. Much like Stan and Kyle,
Butters did not get off on the right foot with Cartman. Upon replacing Kenny as the
fourth friend, Cartman often picked on Butters and mocked him for being lame, even more so than
Stan and Kyle. Even after Kenny returned to the friend group Cartman has remained oddly close to
Butters afterward. This is mostly due to Butters being an easy target for Cartman to manipulate,
whether that be for a laugh or for some scheme Cartman is trying to pull off. This has led to
disastrous results for both Butters and Cartman, with the former being stuck in a
bunker for over a week and the latter having to dress up as a robot and go through hell
in order to retrieve an embarrassing video tape. Cartman and Butters make for one of the funniest
pairings in the entire series but they also make for one of the Most Toxic Friendships.
Finally, The Gold Medal of Toxicity easily has to go to Cartman’s Friendship with Kyle. Since
the beginning of South Park’s run there have been no two characters who have butt heads
more frequently than Cartman and Kyle. Most would agree this is not even a friendship,
despite occasionally being presented as one. Kyle even says so himself on several occasions that he
doesn’t consider Cartman to be his friend. Personally, we would argue that just because
they vehemently hate each other doesn’t mean they aren’t friends on some level. These two,
along with Stan and Kenny, do practically everything together even if they’re arguing
the whole time. Cartman’s hatred toward Kyle is rooted in deep seeded antisemitism which enrages
Kyle to no end. Even though Kyle is generally a good hearted kid, he even goes as far as to
take enjoyment in Cartman’s pain and suffering such as when he laughed at the news of Cartman
getting AIDS. We could go on and on about specific instances but any South Park fan
knows how integral the conflict between Kyle and Cartman has been throughout the series. We’ll sum
it up by saying that easily is enough to grab the Gold Medal for Most Toxic Friendship on the show.
But let us know in the comment section what your favorite South Park Friendship is,
and tell us what we should cover next. Remember to hit that notification bell
and binge our Good to Evil playlist, where we break down the morality of the
characters in your favorite shows. But most importantly, stay wicked!