Hi, I'm Nick Cage
And this is Game In 60 Seconds.
Today's game is Destiny.
OK, let's ride.
Before you play
you have to choose between 3 classes
3 races
and way to few hairstyles.
I called Bungie and made up my own class
'Nouveau Shaman'
He's me with flaming hair and sunglasses
Cos that's cool
He's got a sweet super
Which is charged all the time
It's called the Nick Cage stare
And it goes a little something like this
Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
Everyone else seems to think the goal of the game is to dance
Everytime I go to the tower who return my bounty
It's like walking through a FREKKIN' RAVE
So far, the most challenging thing in Destiny
Is The Vault of Glass
Not because of the enemies
But because getting 6 friends to coordinate schedules
IS IMPOSSIBLE
I have yet to finish because Gary Busey
insists on carrying the Relic
and that f***er
can't go 10 minutes without making a SNACK RUN
leaving the rest of us as blind cannon fodder
While we listen to him sucking down baby back ribs
I NEED THAT MYTHOCLAST BUSEY
I NEED IT
Just give me a damn minute Cage!
These ribs are so savoury
The Dark Below Expansion is so weak
This is just a new coat of paint
Over the SAME DAMN THING
Bungie and Activision
Can DARK BLOW ME
In the end
My favourite activity is the fan in the Tower
I love pushing that button
And watching those dancing f***s fly!
Dance now!
Try me!
You can't.
Can you?
Overall I give Destiny 3 our of 5 Ghost Riders
And one evil Nick Cage stare