Film Courage: You began making movies at three years old?
Julian Shaw, Filmmaker/Actor: I would say three years old is when I first started making
films.
I had a VHS camcorder right and I was so inspired by New Zealand’s Funniest Home Videos which
was obviously the version of the Bob Saget America’s Funniest Home Videos.
I would actually write and perform sketches that we would submit to New Zealand’s Funniest
Home Videos.
It might be like it’s my birthday and I would end up falling into the birthday cake
or we’d be playing cricket and I’d get hit in the nether region with a tennis ball.
And I was operating the camera and my dad would be like “Make sure you get this angle.”
And my sister and my mom would act in these things.
So that was technically my first directing and acting.
Film Courage: What has been the longest time you’ve ever taken a break from filmmaking?
Julian: You know once I got going with it I just haven’t really stopped, it’s been
pretty relentless.
I got into it in my mid-teens pretty hardcore and I’ve been going ever since.
I’ve had to re-evaluate where I am in my career and change parts but I’ve never really
stopped.
Film Courage: I read in your bio that you suffered from burnout at one point?
Julian: Yes…for sure.
What happened was I made the two documentaries.
They were one-hour documentaries and each one of them took four years.
And I kind of did that on my own.
I hadn’t gone to film school.
I had an amazing producer named Jonathan Green who supported me and they got funding and
we did really well but I just got to a point where I thought “Man, I’ve gone as far
as I can without some help.”
And that was when I decided to go to film school which was in my mid-twenties because
I just felt it was time to get that kind of feedback.
It was time to study and hone my craft.
I already started to find my voice but I just needed to work on the technique a bit.
That was how I got out of the funk that I was in because I was kind of depressed coming
off of my second documentary.
Film Courage: I have heard that from other people to because there is like this let down,
like it’s finished, it’s out there and then you don’t know how it’s going to
be received and the excitement of it is over as well.
Julian: And just money…let’s be honest.
It all comes down to money and financing these films.
Often it is tough financially along the way where you can make a lot of money in the film
industry but we know it’s often not at the front end when you are starting out, so that’s
tough.
My second film was really challenging.
I had some legal issues with it and I also documentary family members in my film.
It was a film about New Zealander’s obsession with rugby.
So you might think “Well why is your family in it?”
Well the reason is I was documenting my relationship with my father because I realized that was
the key to why I loved this rugby team from New Zealand (the All Blacks), that was it.
It was my relationship with him and I had some unresolved issues from that relationship.
So I decided to document that in the film.
My dad and I have never been so close, we are awesome now.
But it was tough at the time because even though I was telling my truth in the film,
that wasn’t his truth.
He didn’t recognize the character that was him.
So that was really tough because I went into it with the best intentions you know.
I’m going to make this truthful documentary.
I’m going to tell my truth.
Well my truth isn’t my subject’s truth.
And I kind of had a breakdown about “Gosh, what is a documentary?
Can you make anything that is really truthful?”
I realized how subjected it is even with the best intentions.
And I think that was why I was ready to smash that mold of documentary making on this film
USE ME that I just made.
Because I didn’t feel that a pure documentary was kind of a form that I even believed in
anymore to be completely honest with you.
Film Courage: Yes, I’ve heard that dilemma from other documentarians where sometimes
a film is never released just because the quote-un-quote “subject” doesn’t want
to be seen in a certain light even though even though it’s kind of this raw light,
they want to have it a certain way or look a certain way.
Julian: One hundred percent.
And look it’s that thing where you shoot a hundred hours of footage, it’s 3D, it’s
in person, it’s the real thing, it’s real life.
And then you see a movie and it’s 2D and a hundred hours turns into 1 hour and you
are lying through omission, you are lying just by cutting things out or just by choosing
to emphasize certain things and you are trying to craft it into an emotionally satisfying
story.
Now of course you are not trying to mislead people but there is a sculpting of that material.
I’m saying really obvious things here but sometimes when the people you’ve portrayed
in the film see that it is a rude awakening.
Film Courage: Sure, I’ve definitely heard of people where there is tons of footage and
they can’t do anything with it.
Julian: Absolutely and you try and communicate with your subjects but it is still your interpretation
as the director and…I don’t know?
How truthful is documentary it is still one person’s point of view even with the best
intentions of being honest it’s still that director shaping reality into a story.
Film Courage: What I find interesting is you had sort of the opposite journey in that most
people go to film school (Whether they become jaded or not.
Whether they feel it was helpful or not) and they go onto work or so things in the industry
or maybe they don’t.
But you had the opposite experience.
So did being in class with other people who were excited about movies reignite the passion
for film?
Julian: It really did when I went to film school, it sort of jolted me back to life
and kind of got me out of the funk that I was in.
It was interesting because I studied directing at the National Film School in Australia which
is call AFTRS.
What was funny was it also reignited my love of acting because I had wanted to act when
I was a kid, I had gone to a performing arts high school in Australia, I was acting two
hours a day (that was part of the syllabus).
And then kind of moved away from that to focus on directing.
Then I go to film school and our teacher Samantha Lang was taking these acting classes and so
we were up acting for each other for a week.
And at the end of it one fo the director said “You know I think acting is your calling.”
And then these other directors that I studied with started casting me in your film so that
was an amazing revelation for me and at that point it sort of got me back in love with
acting.
So being in that environment was so inspiring on so many levels.