what's up YouTube it's your favorite breakup expert Brad browning here with
another video about getting back together with your ex if you don't want
to win you back your your ex-boyfriend or your ex-girlfriend then obviously
this isn't gonna be the video for you but if you do want to get back together
with an ex or if you're at least considering it then you will want to
watch this video all the way to the end and that's because I'm going to explain
how you can make sure that you turn any unavoidable contact with your ex into a
positive thing that's actually gonna help you win them back now I'll be
talking about what to do if you still live with your ex which is quite common
and I'll also share some tips on what to do if you have to see your ex you know
at work or at school every single day and I'm also going to talk a little bit
what to do when you just randomly run into your ex you know out in the world
of the gym the grocery store whatever so by the time you finish watching this
video basically you're gonna know how to turn any unavoidable encounters with
your ex into positive conversations that are gonna actually help your cause and
getting them back now before I begin I do want to just add one quick disclaimer
if you haven't already done so I suggest you begin by watching the full free
video my website breakupbrad.com now you guys really need to have a solid game
plan for winning your ex back you can't just wing it
so that's what that how-to video on my website is gonna help you do and in that
video I also explain some common mistakes that you absolutely must avoid
making if you want your ex back so start by watching that video at
breakupbrad.com if you haven't yet and then you'll be in a much better position
to begin using some of the strategies that I'm gonna cover in this video
alright to begin with let's get one thing straight I don't recommend
intentionally spending time with your ex unless you've already completed 30 days
or more of no contact and you know exactly what you're doing until you get
to that point or if you if you don't have a clear idea of how to use
encounters with your ex to to build attraction and help win them back then
you're probably just going to do more harm than good
but let's begin by talking about a problem that many of my coaching clients
face and that is what to do when you have to see your ex regularly at work or
at school so here's a couple of tips for handling that type of situation number
one is to turn your ex's expectations upside down see after a breakup I mean
what do you think that your ex is going to expect you to be feeling sad heart
can lonely angry you know the typical breakup emotions which you probably
really are feeling inside right now and I know how much it sucks feeling like
that trust me but you need to hide those emotions when you're around your ex in
fact if you can go one better and actually pretend that you're you're
actually feeling the exact opposite you know you act happy upbeat you know
excited about the future that by itself is gonna cause some serious doubts in
your ex's mind now I'm not gonna bore you guys with the psychological
reasoning behind why doing the exact opposite of what your ex expects is so
effective but basically it just forces them to second-guess their decision to
break up then this in turn changes the way that they feel about you so when
you're around your ex you know don't be a downer pretend to be happy or at least
pretend like you're you're already over them and you're moving on to exciting
new things put on your happy face so to speak alright and on to tip number two
which is to create mystery by dropping subtle hints so similar to my last tip
this one also involves playing some simple mind games on your ex now you
have to be careful not to make this too obvious because it can backfire on you
badly if you're not careful but basically though what you want to do
is make some sort of comment when you're talking to your ex or when you know that
they can hear you that hints at a date you're going on or someone special that
you've met recently so for example maybe your ex is you know standing within
earshot when you're talking to another friend you might say something like
sorry I can't hang out tonight I'd love to but I'm taking my friend to the new
Bond movie the key is just to avoid you know giving any more details or making
it into a big deal you know just casually and subtly mention something
like that in order to plant the idea in your ex's mind and let them spend the
rest of the day wondering who this friend is and whether it's actually a
date that you're going on so basically just just let your ex's imagination
create some jealousy and shift their overall perceptions of you now again
guys this is a potentially dangerous tactic that can get you in trouble if
you're not careful so make sure you you at least actually have plans to you know
go to a movie that night for instance so that you don't get caught trying to
incite jealousy or look like an idiot for making something up just because you
knew your acts could hear you however if you do get this
it can be extremely powerful and really make your ex doubt whether they should
have let you go after all okay and number three pretty simple just keep it
fun look I've said this in so many of my other videos and I stress this
throughout my X Factor program as well you've got to avoid getting into any
kind of drama or negative conversations with your ex nothing kills attraction
faster then yet another argument or another drawn-out discussion over the
state of your relationship and your future together these are the the
natural types of discussions that that recently broken up couples usually tend
to have but they're also the absolute worst thing if you're trying to rebuild
your ex's attraction for you so this is especially important if you if you must
see your ex regularly and you can't avoid contact you know keep any
conversations upbeat light-hearted and then enjoyable for your ex so that means
absolutely no getting sucked into bickering jealousy drama anything that
might further confirm your ex's belief that you're better off apart if you want
to win someone back basically you need to make yourself look like a fun
interesting partner that they'll enjoy spending time with now let's move on
here and talk about what to do if you still live with your ex this is a really
tough situation to be in and quite honestly your strategy may need to
change depending on the exact details of the break-up I'm happy to learn about
your specific situation and give you some advice and ongoing coaching as to
how to exactly handle things in your situation if you'd like my help you want
to sign up for my coaching please go to breakupbrad.com slash coaching to see if
I currently have any coaching spots available again breakupbrad.com slash
coaching and on that page you'll see all the details about working with me on an
ongoing basis as well as my current availability now that being said I can
give you some general tips on handling a situation where you want to employ no
contact but you still live with your ex firstly you really need to avoid
spilling your emotions at home you know if you can avoid it try to get out of
the house and hang out you know at a friend's house while you get through the
worst of the initial heartache and as I mentioned earlier you don't wanna be you
know crying alone at home every night after you've been dumped because that is
exactly what your ex expects and it's not going to make them want you
so instead you want to act like you're fine with the break-up you know and
you're moving on to bigger and better things so try to convey those emotions
when you happen to be you know at home when your ex is around and avoid showing
any negative emotions that might reveal your true feelings quite frankly it's
usually best to employ what I call limited contact for the first you know
30 to 60 days after the break-up get out of the house as much as possible and
just limit any conversations with your ex to two essential topics only now
don't completely change your routine just to avoid running into your ex
that's gonna look kind of suspicious and weird as well just stay busy and try to
avoid being around you know at home when your ex is also there whenever you can
basically and if you do run into them keep those essential conversations
friendly non confrontational and positive and you know basically only
engage where you absolutely need to now it's also usually wise to avoid
making any commitments in regards to moving out or finding a new place to
live if you can do so without you know angering your ex sometimes your ex may
want to move out of the house quickly and you should let them do so without
putting up a fight be positive and supportive if you need to be and don't
fuss over it if your ex you know seems to be insistent about all right and
finally I want to quickly touch on how to handle one-off unavoidable account
encounters with your ex so for instance say you're attending a mutual friend's
wedding next weekend and you've been planning to go for months already or or
what if you had just happened to go to the same gym as your ex and you might
run into him or her there you know once in a while yes these are all you know
completely fair questions and ones that I hear a lot from my clients now this is
a bit of a shameless plug here but I would like to say that reading through
my entire best-selling ex factor guide would be the absolute best way to
prepare yourself for any unexpected encounters with your ex because it's
going to give you a clear plan for any and all situations including those
random encounters that just might happen I mean in fact I've actually included a
number of one-liners in the book that you can you can use to answer common
questions that your ex will likely ask you in that type of situation so if you
haven't already signed up for the x-factor you can do so now a risk free
fat breakupbrad.com just head over there after this video
and start by watching the free explainer video on my website then sign up and
register for your copy and you'll get access to the entire program within just
a minute or two after you complete your order okay
anyway shameless plug out of the way there if you are facing this kind of
situation where you run into your ex or you're worried you might run into your
ex you know someday in the near future then my biggest piece of advice is to
play it cool when you run to your ex you know no matter the reason and regardless
of whether you were prepared for it or not just be cool calm and collected you
know don't make a big deal out of it don't let yourself get frazzled or
emotional and avoid anything other than the casual friendly light-hearted
chitchat make sure you clearly convey to your ex how well you've been doing since
the break-up how much you've changed and and how much you've improved and learned
from it and if you're feeling confident try using the mystery building tactic
that I covered earlier in this video to use the situation to your advantage most
important though is that you look good you act confident and positive and you
give off the impression of someone who's moving on quickly from the break-up and
that will of course once again help to plant the seeds of self-doubt in your
ex's mind and make them question whether it was a good idea to let someone so
awesome slip out of their life okay guys I could keep talking about this stuff
for a lot longer but I think I'll leave it there if I've missed something in
this video I mean she's got a quick question about your situation you know
what to do leave me a comment below the video and I will get back to you
personally and please don't forget to subscribe to my channel as well if you
found this this video even a little bit useful your support means a lot I really
do appreciate it so please click subscribe and leave your
comments below thanks guys we'll talk to you soon
you