♪ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME ALL THE WAY FROM IBERIA, GIVE IT
UP FOR YOUR HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY BRYAN CRANSTON!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Bryan: THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Bryan: YEAH, SIT DOWN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
PLEASE, PLEASE BE SEATED.
TAKE YOUR SEATS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT WELCOME.
OH, THIS IS EXCITING.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
WE HAVE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, AS YOU CAN SEE.
(APPLAUSE) AS I'M SURE YOU HAVE DETERMINED
BY NOW, YOU HAVE REALIZED I'M NOT JAMES CORDEN.
I'M ACTUALLY HARRY STYLES.
(APPLAUSE) IT'S BEEN A ROUGH 24 HOURS.
AND YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY IS BRYAN CRANSTON HOSTING
THE SHOW, WELL, THIS MORNING JAMES GAVE ME A CALL AND TOLD ME
THAT HE WANTED TO SPEND THE DAY WITH HIS WIFE AND HIS NEW BABY
GIRL.
(APPLAUSE) AND IT WORKS OUT GREAT FOR ME
BECAUSE THE JUDGE SAID THAT THIS COUNTS TOWARDS MY COMMUNITY
SERVICE.
(LAUGHTER) SO LET'S GET STARTED AND TALK
ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE NEWS, SHALL WE?
NOW THE BIG NEWS WAS LAST NIGHT THAT DEMOCRAT DOUG JOANS
DEFEATING CONTROVERSIAL REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE ROY MOORE.
(APPLAUSE) WOW.
PEOPLE ARE EXCITED.
NOW HE LOST BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ROY MOORE CAN NOW FOCUS HIS
ENERGIES ON HIS REAL PASSION, HIDING FROM SHOPPING MALL
SECURITY GUARDS.
(LAUGHTER) BUT THIS IS REALLY HISTORIC
BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN 25 YEARS THAT A DEMOCRAT HAS
BEEN ELECTED SENATOR IN ALABAMA.
NOW AND TO GIVE YOU ANED WHERE OF HOW LONG AGO IT WAS, ROY
MOORE WAS DATING GIRLS BACK THEN WHO ARE NOW IN THEIR 30S.
(APPLAUSE) THIS ELECTION JUST TOTALLY GOT
AWAY FROM ROY MOORE.
THE SAME WAY HIS HORSE DID.
DID YOU SEE HIM TRY TO RIDE THAT THING YESTERDAY?
HERE, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT.
>> OH, OH.
ALL RIGHT.
IS IT SUPPOSED TO GO SIDEWAYS?
WHERE IS MY LITTLE GUN.
AND SOME OTHER NEWS OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE, IT WAS REVEALED
THAT OMAROSA FORMER APPRENTICE CONTESTANT AND RECENT WHITE
HOUSE AIDEE HAS BEEN FIRED.
ONLYA ROSA IS OUT OF A JOB.
SO NOW SHE'LL BE DOING, WELL, PRETTY OF THE SAME THING SHE WAS
DOING AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
(APPLAUSE) NOW OMAROSA WAS REPORTEDLY FIRED
AFTER A HEATED ARGUMENT WITH CHIEF OF STAFF JOHN KELLY.
AND ESCORTED OFF OF THE WHITE HOUSE GROUNDS.
NOW ON THE BRIGHT SIDE FOR HER, IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS
THAT A TRUMP STAFFER WAS NOT LEAD AWAY IN HANDCUFFS.
SO THERE'S A BRIGHT SIDE TO EVERYTHING.
MOVING ON TO THE NEWSPAPER, "U.S.A. TODAY," RIGHT, HAS
PUBLISHED AN EDITORIAL, LISTEN THIS, TA BUSHES TRUMP AS QUOTE
NOT FIT TO CLEAN THE TOILETS IN OBAMA'S PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY.
(APPLAUSE) BUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
COME ON, AS IF DONALD TRUMP WOULD EVER SET FOOT INSIDE A
LIBRARY.
THIS WAS A DEVASTATING EDITORIAL IN THE LATEST EDITION OF "U.S.A.
TODAY" WHICH EVERYONE HAD TO STEP OVER AS THEY LEFT THEIR
EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL ROOMS THIS MORNING.
GET THIS STUPID THING OUT OF THERE.
AND FINALLY IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS THE STORY CAME OUT TODAY
THAT GEORGE CLOONEY ONCE HELD A DINNER PARTY FOR 14 OF HIS BEST
FRIENDS.
THIS IS TRUE.
WHERE HE GAVE EACH ONE OF THEM THEIR OWN SUITCASE FILLED WITH
ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN CASH!
WOW.
WOW, I GUESS ALL THE TIME I SPENT WITH GEORGE ON THE MOVIE
"ARGO" WASN'T AS SPECIAL AS I THOUGHT.
(APPLAUSE) I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A REALLY
NICE GESTURE ON GEORGE'S BEHALF UNTIL I HEARD, AND THIS IS TRUE,
THAT HE TBAIF THEM ALL THE MONEY IN 20 DOLLAR BILLS.
NOW THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY TO JUST HAND OVER TO SOMEONE.
OH, GEE, THANKS, GEORGE.
HOPEFULLY CAN I MAKE IT TO THE BANK WITH THIS GIANT BAG OF
MONEY WITHOUT BEING MURDERED.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
GEORGE, IF YOU ARE WATCHING, I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I
DON'T NEED A MILLION COLORS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
I WILL DO IT FOR 600 K.
(APPLAUSE) SO I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE
TONIGHT.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU.
REGGIE, ARE YOU READY?
>> Reggie: I AM.
>> Bryan: HE'S REGGIE WATTS, I'M BRYAN CRANSTON, THIS IS THE
"LATE, LATE SHOW," LET'S ROLL THE TITLES!