All right, I'm gonna let our listeners
in behind the scenes here for just a moment.
We've just experienced real technical difficulties.
Yeah, we have.
We were supposed to be joined by Matt Gourley,
who has a babysitter emergency.
Yeah.
This is the babysitter that looks after him,
apparently, not his child.
(Sona laughing)
And Matt couldn't be on the Zoom. He was gonna be on a Zoom,
but there's a technical difficulty.
Yeah.
During this technical difficulty,
while we're waiting for Matt,
who still can't seem to get onto the Zoom for some reason.
Yeah.
We're sitting here and we're waiting
and you take a phone call from your mom.
Yes.
And suddenly I'm no longer in the United States.
Okay.
No, now listen.
You know how tolerant I am of other cultures
and how much I love the Armenian people.
Do I?
Okay.
But listen, you started talking in Armenian.
Yes.
Could you give us just a sample
of the kinds of things you were saying?
Because I was sitting here,
I'm very proud of, my people died to come to this country,
you know?
Okay. It was an arduous journey
and they fought hard to carve out a spot here
in the United States.
Right, okay.
And so I, I thought I was here in the US,
when suddenly I was transported to Armenia.
Well, the United States is in big melting pot.
There are a lot of immigrants here
who speak different languages.
And I love that about this country.
Yes, but you do sometimes say, what is that mish mish?
No, no, no.
That's insensitive, I would never say that.
Yeah, okay
But tell me what you were saying
because it's fascinating to me.
I'm sitting here, and I know you as Sona and suddenly.
Yeah.
Well tell us what you were saying.
So, my mom called and we are, you know,
feeding the boys now is like a process,
because they're eating more solids
and you know, not as much milk.
And so my mom doesn't fully know yet how to, how to do that.
Right.
And handle it.
So she called me and she was just like.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Now what are you saying here? What is being said?
She's like, I don't know what to do right now.
I'm like, did he sleep?
And you know.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
You know, did he drink milk?
Like, but I think that when my mom calls
and I start speaking to her in Armenian,
you always do this bit where you're like, "What was that?"
"What was that?"
(Sona laughs)
Well, it's very arresting.
It's very shocking.
I'm just not used to it.
Yeah.
Now we are here in our new podcast studios.
I own this building and I own this podcast studio.
Okay.
And I think of this, tell me if I'm wrong,
as sovereign US soil, you know?
Okay.
And.
Okay.
Am I allowed to forbid you-
No.
From speaking a foreign language-
No.
In this building?
No, you're absolutely.
That's a hundred percent not okay to say.
Okay.
That someone can't speak a foreign language.
Well, I feel that this is like, you know,
the way an embassy is sacred soil.
You can speak different languages in embassies.
There's nowhere where this is okay that you're talking-
I feel like this is,
(Sona laughs)
all I've ever wanted is my own clubhouse.
And now I finally, you know, we've always, you know,
I was working at 30 Rock for years
and then I'm working at Warner Brothers.
I'm always there at someone else's behest.
Now finally, Willy Wonka, I'm being Willy Wonka,
I have my own chocolate factory.
This is, I'm Pee-wee and this is my Playhouse.
So I do feel like I'm allowed to act like an insane emperor
and say things like, what?
What are you speaking?
No more of that, only English.
Are you upset that you can't understand it?
And that you wish you could speak another language
and be cool, like me?
I feel like you're just a little jealous.
I don't think I'm jealous.
You're jealous.
I don't think so.
I think you're jealous.
I think you're jealous because I can speak another language
and I like switch on and off.
It's really shocking.
I remember the first time almost 11, 12 years ago.
When I heard you talking to your mom, outside my door.
I had no idea that you spoke this foreign tongue.
(Sona laughs)
But listen, let's do a thing where I speak
to you in English and you answer me in Armenian, okay?
Okay, all right. I want people to understand.
Okay. How are you today, Sona?
(Sona speaks Armenian)
I wish to, sort of, sabotage the United States of America.
Will you help me in my evil scheme?
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Yes, bad USA.
Yeah.
Yes, we must bring down the bad United States.
Yeah.
We must work within the United States
to bring it down as secret spies.
(Sona Laughs)
Don't you agree, Sona?
Don't you agree?
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Stop laughing, spy.
We're here to destroy America from within.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Yes, yes, I agree.
Yeah.
Let's attack when they're least expected.
Yeah.
Yes, in the night.
In the night.
What is the plan here?
I don't know, it just sounds-
You're saying-
I love that you're probably saying things like,
they like boiled pork.
No.
And also-
I'm saying really mean things about you, specifically.
Are you really?
Yeah, yeah.
What are you saying?
I'm saying, I hate working here.
(Conan laughs)
You skin is super white.
I've never seen someones skin so white before.
Oh, okay.
All right
And then you just kept talking about taking down America.
I don't know.
I don't understand what the plan was.
(Sona laughs)
We're gonna attack in the night when they expect it least.
We're gonna attack who?
Who are we attacking?
I'm not sure.
I didn't have my plan all worked out but you answer.
And you're speaking in English so people-
What is the language that Armenian is closest to?
Is it close to Russian?
No, it's not.
What is it close to?
Well, you know, Tak speaks Russian
because he grew up in the Soviet Union.
Right.
And you know, there's Armenians
from Lebanon who speak Arabic
and there's Armenians from Iran who speak Arabic.
And my parents are from Istanbul so they speak Turkish too.
I think this is cool. I love how multicultural you are
and I love that you're bringing this perspective
to the podcast and all I have to say to you is,
in my building, English only.
Only English!
(Sona laughs)
Why are you saying it with an accent?
I don't know.
I say English only!
I still believe that if you speak English with an accent
other people can understand you who don't speak English.
I say English only!
Why?
That doesn't make any sense.
My building, English only.
I have no idea what I'm, this is insane
Because I know that it upsets you
to speak a different language.
I'm only ever gonna speak in Armenian from now on.
Okay, so, let's wrap up this segment.
You in your tongue and me in mine, okay?
Okay.
Oh, gosh and begorrah.
Thank you, Sona.
Thanks for stopping by the podcast.
It was nice having you here today,
and how are you, Sona?
Anything to say to the fans before we slip over the rainbow
and say goodnight?
Yeah.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Ah, see, people from different cultures can get along.
Mm-mm, yeah.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
A potato.
Yeah, okay.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
Oh no, I like a America.
No, I won't attack it.
(Sona laughs)
What are you doing?
What is this bit?
I don't know.
I don't understand what the bit is.
I like trying to make it sound
like you're up to something bad.
Why?
Because it's just as amusing you-
You're saying the English part
and you're saying the whole plan in English.
And so I don't understand what the thing is.
What's the bit?
We're like planning a thing,
but your part is in English
and you're saying what the plan is in English?
What's happening?
I love, what's the bit?
What's the bit here?
(Sona laughs)
What's the bit?
Won't you trust me?
I'm the bit captain,
I've been in the bit business for a long time,
just trust me.
No, this bit doesn't make sense.
Don't say, bit captain, in the bit business.
All right, we're out.
This is stupid.
We're out.
Goodnight to all of you, it was a wasted segment.
(Sona laughs)
Say goodnight, Sona, in your own special tongue.
(Sona speaks Armenian)
(Conan speaks foreign language)