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good morning class how's everybody doing
today tim did you do your homework you
didn't okay pop quiz everyone take out
your papers take out your pens all right
i'm physically incapable of reading
anything besides blue or black ink do
not forget it all right everybody
question one spell guitar guitar
guitar
okay question number two what is eight
plus nine what's eight plus nine put
your calculator away eight plus nine
question number two
question number three what is the
mitochondria what's the mitochondria
everybody write it down write it down
what's the mitochondria pop quiz
all right very good you guys are doing
so well question number four essay
question even though the year is 2021
why are we still forced to teach where
the red fern grows okay
yes we all love that book don't we
children okay everybody write your
essays write your essays i want an intro
and three paragraphs and then a final
conclusion
okay next question
what is one useful thing you learned in
health class ooh a toughy a toughy
just one just one
put your hand down i'll be answering
questions after the quiz
okay next question how do you do taxes
what do you mean
i didn't teach you that you're just
supposed to know go on write it down
okay next question if 3x minus y equals
12 what is the value of 8 to the power
of x over 2 to the power of y
good good awesome okay
um finally i'm going to read you the
beginning of a paragraph and you have to
pick which of the following choices best
maintains the sentence pattern already
established in the paragraph okay
a subway system is expanded to provide
service to a growing suburb a bike
sharing program is adopted to encourage
non-motorized transportation is the
answer a to alleviate rush hour traffic
jams in a congested downtown area comma
stop light timing is coordinated
b coordinating stoplight timing can help
alleviate rush hour traffic jams in a
congested downtown area period
c stoplight timing is coordinated to
alleviate rush hour traffic jams in a
contrasted downtown area
no period or d in a congested downtown
area stoplight timing is coordinated to
alleviate rush hour traffic jams
a b c or d
okay fantastic fantastic and your extra
credit question some historians have
argued that the new deal was ultimately
conservative in nature support modify or
refute this interpretation providing
specific evidence to justify your answer
pens down all right pass it up
pass it up everybody pass it up i'm sure
you did fine oh stop crying
okay thank you all right now get to
recess
hi welcome to the restaurant are you
doing alone tonight
well that's okay anything to drink
just water okay no problem here's your
glass and here's your water
oh sorry i spilled that a little bit oh
my bad okay are you ready to order
you'd like to hear our specials no
problem
okay as far as specials we have a burger
we have spaghetti we have chicken
fingers we have grilled cheese we have
chicken caesar salad we have deviled
eggs and that comes in an appetizer size
or main course size
oh
you know what i also forgot the chef
prepared a delicious blackened sea bass
from the delaware coast cured and
seasoned with lime cilantro and big mac
olive oil from portugal and that's going
to be topped with chard haas avocado
cucumber and finger limes over rhubarb
have consummate chicken fingers okay
no problem fantastic choice and would
you like to order dessert now
yeah okay you wanna hear what we have we
have ice cream vanilla ice cream
chocolate ice cream we have brownie we
have a chocolate chip cookie we have
chocolate cake we have a rice pudding we
have bread pudding we have vanilla
pudding we have butterscotch pudding we
have buttershot custard we have flan
moose and we have creme brulee
a sample platter you'd like to try them
all you know what i can do that for you
all right fantastic let me go ahead and
put that order in for you and uh please
tip me
oh my god it's hideous in here can i
please interior design for you perfect
all right now what i'm going to do is
i'm going to show you some fabric
samples so that your house won't be so
hideous anymore on the inside all right
so here's that for example one now do
you like this texture do you like this
color how does this make you feel what
does this elicit for you
now go ahead and erase that from your
mind because look at this one this one's
even better do you see this how are you
feeling are you tingling are you just
absolutely loving this because look you
can do this side or the side this side
or this side now if you don't hate you
hate that you don't want you you hate it
that's totally fine because look at this
you can do this fabric on the inside and
i said this would be really good i think
i think it's about the emotions about
the mood it's about the vibe that you
really want
you know what why don't we go to
pinterest i have some great images for
you
now look at this if you're a little bit
too unoriginal you can just go to
pinterest and figure out anything you'd
like so you can do farmhouse we can do a
nice farmhouse design we can do a little
goth farmhouse you know maybe farm has a
little bit too much if you want to goth
farmhouse i totally understand that we
could go a little bit deeper and go to
dark academia interior design so we can
do the dark academia moody moody moody
very moody oh you like that okay very
interesting how about a little modern
interior design
modern with like modern things in it
because we are living in a modern day
world aren't we we can also do a gaming
interior design if you want to be a full
gamer you know
gaming gaming uh energy you can do that
for your kitchen i think that's really
nice kind of subtle design there
we can also go out of that and do
cottage core so we could do more of like
a gaming kitchen cottage court bathroom
dark academia bedroom you know how it is
i think that might be your best bet and
or you know what if you want to go
really avant-garde we could do a high
school locker room that'd be really good
i think that kind of suits your
personality okay so
we also have a couple more options to
choose from then if you want to do
drapes
so people can't see you inside your own
house drapes are very good you like
these
you like that okay perfect finally for
um your statement piece on your dining
room table now you're gonna have two
options here there's really the only two
options you can have
one
or two dining room table one or two
perfect thank you so much that'll be
eight hundred dollars
well hey welcome to the movie theater
it's been a while except for in this
theater we only play the classics so you
can get a ticket to one of five theaters
uh in theater one that's going to be
playing john tucker must die in theater
number two we're playing the entire
filmography of ewan mcgregor just on a
loop from his first film in 1994 in
theater number three now that's gonna be
uh of the land before time but it's an
edited version you know where his mom
doesn't die and then in theater number
four we have air bud golden receiver
and then theater number five you'd have
to wait for that one uh we're gonna be
playing the rocky horror picture show
but i don't think you're quite dressed
for that
perfect i'll bring you up there and uh
would you like to buy some snacks
get some popcorn absolutely little
popcorn
extra butter it already comes with extra
butter would you like extra extra extra
butter with a side of extra butter okay
absolutely
here you go here you go and uh in terms
of candy well let's see we have uh
they name this one after you you gotta
get it all right
um also i don't know if you need but um
you need
okay all right um you like a large soda
with that okay medium medium we'll do a
medium okay you sure you don't want to
get the extra large the extra extra
large just the medium okay one second
there
[Applause]
here's your medium soda
um we ran out of the big straws
that's all i got
perfect enjoy your movie
hello boys and girls welcome to your
field trip at the zoo i'm gonna be your
zoo teacher today my name is miss gb can
you say hi miss gb
okay
so we're gonna meet a very special
animal guest friend today are you
excited to meet our animal guest okay
sit down sit down please stop screaming
okay you're gonna have to be
very quiet for an animal guest are you
ready are you ready to meet our animal
guests does anybody have any guesses as
to what it is
not an elephant what else could we be
meeting today
not a kangaroo okay so i'm going to show
you our animal guest today
this is our giant anteater friend
everybody say hello to giant aunt eater
his name is zipper because when we
picked him up i got my zipper cot so now
his name is zipper isn't that perfect to
little kids oh my gosh so what do we
know about the giant anteater can
anybody guess what the giant ant eater
eats
not bananas good guess though good guess
can anybody else guess what the ant
eater eats
that's right they eat ants the giant
anteater eats ants it uses its giant
claws to rip apart the ant hill and then
it
sucks it up with its giant tongue okay
everybody now can anybody guess is our
giant eater friend zipper is it a
bird a reptile or a mammal ooh
which could it be which could it be
that's right it's a mammal because it
has
fur because it has fur okay everybody
i'm gonna go ahead and i'm gonna bring
zipper around and let me know if you
want to touch zipper okay ready
very nice
very nice barry yes he has a very bushy
tail the bushy tail curls around it when
he sleeps does anybody else use a
blanket to sleep in here
me too
okay everybody time to say bye bye to mr
zipper time to say bye bye to miss oh oh
no
okay gotta go kids all right remember
the zoo is a non-profit so please
go visit the gift shop
zipper and your friend miss gb depend on
it okay bye kids i hope you had a very
educational day
hi sweetie are you feeling okay i'll put
the school nurse okay you're not feeling
so good okay well you know what before
we check anything while i have you can i
just chuck you for lice please because
there seems to be some lice going around
i just wanna okay okay thank you just
tilt your head down okay have you been
washing your hair have you been itching
have you been sharing caps have you been
sharing brushes no okay good i don't see
any lice but i think you know sometimes
i really hide in there okay no lice
thank you for that all right i'm gonna
pop this in your mouth you're gonna take
your temperature okay say ah okay now
put that in there oh what are you
feeling what's wrong what's the matter
talk to me talk to the nurse talk to
nurse okay your stomach hurts you think
you might have appendicitis all right
well what i can do for this i can give
you a band-aid okay i'm gonna give you a
bandage for that
just one little band-aid
um
i'll put this right on your stomach
right where it hurts okay i'll give you
a little guess if you
there you go okay
you feel any better you don't feel any
better okay why don't you go ahead and
lay down i'm gonna get you an ice pack
okay that's gonna fix everything don't
you worry um okay ice pack
paper towel there
here you go here's your ice pack go
ahead and put that on your appendix okay
once i get the phone's ring i gotta
answer
hello
hi janna how are the kids
how's steve
i'm not surprised no i'm not doing
anything what's up
what's the matter sweetie what's up you
want me to call somebody to pick you up
i'm gonna call somebody pick you up
uh how about i give you another ice pack
how about that send you back to class
okay okay we're gonna do that instead
all right and hold on one second okay so
you're gonna take that ice pack i'm
gonna give you a second one and you're
gonna head right back to algebra okay
you're gonna be okay sweetie
hi this is emily we've been trying to
reach you by your car's extended
warranty
they hung up again i'm just trying to
help them with their warranty
hi this is emily reaching out to you
about your car's extended warranty
how are you doing today you don't own a
car
it says here on my records that your
car's extended warranty is about to
expire so i wanted to reach out to you
about extending your car's extended
warranty
our records indicate that you still have
not activated the coverage program
available for your makeslash model
it is important that we get you the
information while we're still able to
offer programs without a vehicle
inspection i will just need to verify a
few things and then i can get you over
to a coverage specialist who can go over
all your coverage options
okay can i please have your address
your mother's maiden name
where you went to grade school
the name of your first pet
your father's middle name
your social security number
and if you pull one of your recent bank
statements out for me could you please
read the 10 to 12 digit account number
perfect well i'll get you sent over
right away to that coverage specialist
if i could put you on hold for just a
moment perfect this number will not be
able to be dialed back again have a
wonderful day
you looking to get fit swole i noticed
you over there you look a little lost in
the gym here haven't seen you around
here before
you want to get a good pump on you want
these huge muscles like i have well
perfect well i'm about to teach you
everything i know so go ahead and sit
down because i'm ready to get going all
right now that you sat down stand back
up sit back down stand back up sit back
down stand back up you get in the
picture here okay i'm gonna start you
off easy with some five pound weights go
ahead hold these all right and what
we're gonna do is we're gonna go up and
down up and down and up and down and up
i want you to punch punch punch
punch punch punch oh you're getting a
little sweaty there are you okay are you
okay we need to take it down a little
bit take it down a notch okay
i'm gonna give you this band that
instead go ahead and take this band what
i want you to do is pull
and hold and
relax
pull
hold and then relax okay here's your pan
go ahead ready pull and hold
relax
pull and hold and then relax you're
breathing kind of heavy you're breathing
a little bit too heavy for my comfort
okay i'm going to take this away from
you why don't we do a nice cool down
okay a nice cool down here so i want you
to go stretch i'm going to breathe in
and breathe
and out
i probably should have asked you this
before do you have any injuries
okay all right you know what we're gonna
end up with a little massage here just a
really gentle massage
there welcome to the nail salon can i
interest you in a manicure absolutely
put your hands down right here for me
oh what did you do did you work out
today did you go to the zoo today oh my
gosh okay so what i'm gonna do is i'm
gonna start filing your nails okay
you know what do you want them a little
bit shorter i think you should maybe get
them a little bit shorter let me get my
kit for you
okay so we're going to go ahead and clip
those away i'm going to put those away
go ahead and just go
clip clip clip clip clip clap
clap clap clap that should have been 10
clips
okay and then i'm going to go ahead and
clean up those cuticles because
i don't know i'll let you walk around
with those cuticles okay so you let me
know if this hurts at all okay go ahead
get your hands
just relax your hands relax relax
there we go okay
perfect and all clean
very good very good very good very good
now we're gonna do some filing okay
there we go
now you want this to be nice and smooth
do you want any particular shape i can
do this with my eyes closed
bam voila they look beautiful okay i'm
going to do a little base coat here a
little base coat
it's going to help it stay on for about
24 hours okay here we go
okay very good and then what color do
you want you don't know okay how about
this good okay perfect
so what's the concept are you dating
anybody
okay
these are going to be weapons
okay
now we don't have a top coat and we
don't have a dryer so just keep hold
your hands up like this like this like
this
perfect would you like a hand massage
perfect i don't really have a lotion i
have some nail polish
well you look stunning thank you so much
for coming in hope you enjoy your nails
bye-bye good night
you