In one corner we have the deadliest fighting force in human history, a military power that
despite rising competitors remains without equal.
With a Navy more powerful than the rest of the world's combined and an Air Force without
peer, the United States sits firmly at the top of the military mountain.
In the other corner we have one of the most iconic superhero teams of all time.
Stalwart protectors of humanity and mutant-kind alike, the X-Men use incredible powers to
fight off all kinds of threats, from the intergalactic to the demonic.
So who would win if these two juggernauts clashed against each other?
For most of its early history the United States was at best a second-rate military power,
and it wasn't until the years between World War I and World War II that the US navy’s
size began to compare to the supreme naval power in the world, Great Britain.
However despite having the numbers, the United States lacked the professional and technological
expertise to be a true global power.
When it joined the allies in World War II, the United States was still considered a formidable,
but ultimately second tier power, and the early performance of its military didn't help
change this opinion any.
The Sherman tank that the US brought to the fight in North Africa was considered by many
to be one of the worst tanks of the war, and after the war German tank commanders went
on record saying that at times they pitied the Americans and could not fathom that a
government would send its troops to war with such inferior weaponry.
The US fared little better at the outset of the war in the Pacific, the Japanese Zero
outperformed American planes, and its pilots were far better trained.
Yet the US learned quickly from its mistakes, and soon it was turning the tide of battle
on both fronts.
What US troops had initially lacked in proficiency they made up in sheer determination, and American
soldiers would go on to be some of the most decorated by foreign nations of any member
of the alliance.
After the second world war the US quickly developed the now famous 'military offsets'
which enabled it to dominate any foe in combat.
The first offset was its nuclear superiority, which allowed it to offset the Soviet Union's
superior conventional numbers.
The second offset in the 1970s was the development of precision guided munitions, giving US firepower
incredible precision and lethality, leaving no foe anywhere in the world safe from attack.
Today the US retains its global leadership in military power, and while Russia still
presents a formidable threat it's the rise of China that most threatens American military
supremacy.
In response the Pentagon has announced a Third Offset strategy, which will leverage a combination
of high technology assets with legacy weapon systems.
While future plans remain classified, what is known is that the US plans to pursue artificial
intelligence, directed energy weapons, robotics, and electromagnetic railguns as part of its
third offset.
The X-Men are a team of mutants brought together by the venerable Professor X.
As a powerful telepath, Professor X, or Charles Xavier, founded a private academy in order
to help mutants develop and control their superpowers.
Living in a world were mutants are feared and sometimes even discriminated against,
Professor X refuses to adopt the more violent approach to mutant liberation that his former
friend Magneto espouses, instead adhering to a strict doctrine of pacifism.
That doesn't mean that Professor X isn't more than willing to send out his famous X-Men
to go out and kick some butt when needed though, and the motley crew of superheroes is a formidable
force indeed.
Backed up with Professor X's vast fortune, the team brings cutting edge technology and
superior training to any fight.
With dozens of mutants having been a part of the X-men at some time or another, we'll
be focusing on what are widely considered the classic X-men members for this battle
royale: Wolverine, Professor X, Cyclops, Iceman, Storm, Jubilee and Jean Grey.
So who would win in this climactic, winner take all battle?
Let's find out.
First up is Wolverine, with an incredible healing factor, retractable claws, and an
adamantium skeleton that is almost completely unbreakable, he is going to be a formidable
foe indeed.
His healing factor alone is going to make an infantry assault largely pointless, as
the US Army's M-4 rifle and its 5.56 round simply isn't going to do much except piss
him off.
Even the M240 Bravo machine gun and its 7.62 round is largely going to be useless against
the Canadian superhero- we need to up the firepower dramatically.
Known as 'silver bullets', American M1 Abrams tanks fire depleted uranium discarding sabot
rounds that have incredible penetrating power against any armor in the world, and getting
hit by one of these in the chest is going to give Wolvie some serious pause- but Wolverine
is a lot smaller than a battle tank, and a lot more agile, so actually hitting him is
going to be difficult to say the least.
Plus his claws will shred through even composite tank armor pretty easily.
Instead, we're going to be calling for fire support from the US Air Force and its inventory
of thermobaric bombs.
Thermobaric weapons were developed to destroy troops inside fortifications such as fox holes,
tunnels, and caves.
They work by consuming all of the oxygen in the environment, making them far more energetic
than conventional explosives, and with the added bonus of suffocating any person not
immediately burned to a crisp.
Wolverine may be able to heal very quickly, but without air to breathe he's going to have
a difficult time staying conscious- and once unconscious, mopping up the foul-mouthed canuck
isn't going to be particularly difficult, his skeleton may be unbreakable but all the
soft fleshy bits definitely aren't.
A study of thermobaric bombs and their lethality by the US Defense Intelligence Agency states
that “The kill mechanism against living targets is unique- and unpleasant... what
kills is the pressure wave, and more importantly the subsequent vacuum, which ruptures the
lungs... if the fuel deflagrates but does not detonate, victims will be severely burned
and will probably also inhale the burning fuel.”
With lungs full of fuel burning at several thousand degrees, after a second and third
thermobaric bomb all that'll be left of Wolverine is a shiny skeleton with no living tissue
to regenerate.
We're giving this one to the US military.
Next up is Jubilee, a superhero that in the early 2000s received some serious upgrades.
While it's well known that she's able to manipulate low levels of energy to create firework-like
effects, in the early 2000s she gained the potential to actually detonate matter at the
atomic level, in effect giving her the power to create nuclear explosions.
However, we aren't buying that crap, and we are sticking with Jubilee's original powers
because you don't get to upgrade your powers just because for decades you were a useless
firework shooter.
In this matchup Jubilee is simply going to get shot in the face and there's literally
nothing she can do but shoot dazzling lights at her attackers- match over, win to the US
military.
Next is Cyclops, whose ability to project optic blasts makes him a daunting opponent
for anyone.
While often mistaken for a laser, Cyclops’s optic blast is actually a concussive force
that comes from an interdimensional aperture located just behind Cyclop's eyes.
Known as the Red Dimension, when Cyclops opens this aperture the energy of an alien dimension
is blasted out into our world with devastating effects.
Yet for all the power generated by his ability to tap into interdimensional space, Cyclops
is still very much a human, albeit a very physically fit one.
He may be able to destroy tanks with his eyes, but a single round from a .50 caliber Barrett
M95 sniper rifle will be enough to eliminate Cyclops from the battle.
Featuring some of the best trained marksmen in the world, the US military's elite snipers
are experts in camouflage and long-range precision, and none of Cyclops' powers will let him detect
the presence of a hidden sniper team a mile or more away.
Win: US military.
Iceman is probably the most obvious to explain of the X-Men's roster, he can chill the ambient
temperature to incredibly low levels, generating everything from walls of ice to a frozen path
of ice that he can ride in combat.
The thing about Iceman though, is that he needs water to be present in the environment
in order for his power to freeze it, and one thing about thermobaric bombs is that they
consume oxygen to generate an explosive blast hot enough to boil away any water in the environment.
Iceman is going to very quickly be Ashman after a single blast from a fuel-air explosive,
so we're immediately calling this one in favor of the US military again.
Storm is probably one of the most iconic, definitely one of the most powerful mutants
in history.
With the power to manipulate the weather at will, Storm can do everything from control
tornadoes to summon torrential rains.
Storm's ability to generate any kind of weather that she likes is far more powerful a weapon
against a modern military than you might think, and we have to admit that this is definitely
going to be a one-sided fight.
An infantry assault against storm will be disastrous, as she'll simply summon bolts
of lightning to fry every single soldier.
Long range snipers?
No dice, as thick fog will shield her from view, and by raising the ambient temperature
outside her fog barrier she'll become invisible to infrared.
Ok, what about long-range fire support?
Hurricane-like winds will make artillery useless, and impossible for any airplane to get close
enough to deliver bombs on target.
Even a cruise missile will be easily blown off course by Storm's winds.
Short of nuclear weapons, we're calling this one a win for Storm.
Professor X and Jean Grey are up next, and as they share such similar powers we feel
the fight against these two will go pretty much the same way.
Note that we're talking about Jean Grey here, not Phoenix, so we're focusing solely on the
mental manipulation powers of both characters.
With the ability to create telekinetic force shields, any kinetic weapon that the US military
has is going to be largely useless, and any manned attack against the telepathic duo is
doomed to failure from the offset, as their abilities allow them to sense minds at incredible
distances.
A long-range precision weapon strike such as a tomahawk missile might be a good idea,
after all there's no brain to manipulate inside a missile- except for again, their telekinetic
shields.
Short of a nuclear weapon, once more the US military simply doesn't have the goods to
defeat these two telepaths- and even if it did, Professor X has one more power up his
sleeve that makes him practically unbeatable: the ability to instantly transfer his consciousness
into any mind.
This essentially makes Professor X immortal, and with his ability to sense minds almost
anywhere on Earth, the Prof can 'mindjump' into a new body faster than you can kill his
old one.
So good luck killing a person who can simply become you with a thought.
In the end with the combined powers of the entire team, we're going to declare the X-men
the winners, although there's definitely only three of them that are doing the heavy lifting
here: Storm, Jean Grey, and Professor X. Wolverine, Iceman, and Cyclops may be cool and well loved
characters, but in the real world these superheroes would be super dead when put up against modern
military technology.
And Jubilee is of course the single most useless superhero ever created, and no, we're not
going to accept that she can suddenly explode matter at the atomic level just because she
sucked for decades before that.
You don't get upgrades just because you're useless.
Disagree with our verdict?
Do you still love Jubilee despite her worthlessness?
What other epic matchup would you like to see in our Who Would Win series?
Let us know in the comments, and as always if you enjoyed this video don't forget to
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