>>> AS THEY OFTEN DO, TO YOU, MY DEAR WIFE.
TELL ME, LOVE, DO YOU THINK OF ME?
YOUR ADORING HUSBAND BERTIE. >>> DEAR BERTIE.
YES. LOVE MARY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> DEAREST MARY, I WAS THRILLED
TO RECEIVE YOUR LETTER, BUT ALAS IT WAS OVER SO QUICKLY.
YOUR WORDS DO MUCH TO BRIGHTEN MY SPIRIT, SO TELL ME AN AMUSING
STORY OR PERHAPS A JOKE. YOURS, BERTIE.
>> DEAR BERTIE. KNOCK, KNOCK.
LOVE MARY. >> MY DEAR MARY, I FEAR THE
KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE STRUCTURE DOES NOT LEND ITSELF TO LETTERS.
INSTEAD, AND I HOPE I'M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, WOULD YOU
SEND ME SOMETHING A BIT NAUGHTY? IT IS LONELY AT SEA.
YOUR BLUSHING BERTIE. >> BERTIE, YOU RASCAL.
I SHALL DO AS YOU SAY AND SEND ALONG SOMETHING NAUGHTY.
BUT YOU BETTER NOT PASS IT AROUND TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU
DIRTY BOY. YOUR FOUGHTY WIFE, MARY.
>> MARY, YOU HAVE SENT ME COCAINE!
WHEN I SAID NAUGHTY, I MEANT A RACY PHOTO, NOT AN ILLEGAL
NARCOTICS. BUT I HAVE BIGGER WORRIES.
LAST NIGHT MY DEAR FRIEND STEVEN WAS SHOT AND DIED IN MY ARMS.
SADDENED AT SEA. BERTIA.
DON'T PANIC. AS LONG AS NOBODY SAW YOU KILL
HIM, TRUT ME, I BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE.
LOVE MARY. >> MY LOVE.
>> IT WAS THE NOT FEED ROUGHSLY. AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN
DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE? HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED IN A
MURDER? CONCERNED BERTIE.
>> BERTIE, NO, WINK, WINK. BUT SMART MOVE PLAYING A NAZI.
PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO LIKE THEM MUCH, EVEN THOUGH THE ONES I MET
AT DINNER THE OTHER NIGHT WERE LOVELY.
YOURS, MARY. >> DID YOU HAVE FAUX IN THE
ATLANTIC BIRTY. >> BIRTY.
OH YOU KNOW ME, ALWAYS MAKING NEW FRIENDS.
BY THE WAY, I WENT TO VISIT YOUR PARENTS THE OTHER DAY ENCLOSING
A PHOTO OF THE THREE OF US. >>> DEAR GOD, MARY.
>> WHAT HAPPENS TO MY PARENTS? THIS IS A TOTO OF YOU IN A
GRAVEYARD. >> WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THEY
PASSED AWAY. WORRIED ON THE WAY BUT YOU'VE
BEEN OFF WITH YOUR FRIENDS. >> I'VE BEEN AT WAR!
>> THAT'S GOOD NEWS. AS YOU KNOW BY NOW, GERMANY
SURRENDERED. I WAS VISITING MY SISTER IN NEW
YORK WHEN WE HEARD. WE TOOK TO THE STREETS TO
CELEBRATE A SOCIAL OF ME ROUND UP ON A MAGAZINE, ENCLOSING A
COPY ALONG WITH A LITTLE GIFT. YOUR COVER GIL, MARY.
>> MARY, STOP SENDING ME CO-CAIN AND AS FOR THE MAGAZINE, WHO THE
HELL ARE YOU KISSING? >> ALL RIGHT, SCREW IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]