*Browsing Facebook*
*Likes Photo*
No, no, no, no unlike unlike unlike unlike!
Did you just like my Facebook photo from THREE years ago?!
Were you just in my closet?
YEAH i was stalking you IN PERSON, like a normal human being. Not on Facebook like a goddamn psycho
what's wrong with you?! Also can i get some new strands of your hair!? These one's lost their scent!
EVERY FACEBOOK EVER
(people talking) She still believes in the tooth fairy (laughing)
Anyway, Haley and I have some really exciting news (ooohhhh)
WE'RE PREGNANT!! (silence). I see
What's wrong?
Well, it's just we have to mute you on facebook.
Wait why?
You're gonna be posting about it every day like excessively
We literally won't be able to hear about anything else. - It's just gonna be too damn annoying
You'll basically become a cancer on our timeline slowly replacing all the fun posts we see with boring ones
You understand
I can't believe our own friends would do this to us. - I'm sorry, do you guys hear something? - No.- Ok that's what I thought
Look at this picture of a not baby
My dog has a Facebook page
She said she wants to see other people. - Oh, man. I'm so sorry. - I know
I mean, that's so tough. But you're a great person. I know you'll find some way. - Hey you guys guess what I did today
I deleted my facebook
Cool man
Yep, I just deleted it completely, you know, I just wanted to be free, you know
Hey guys pay attention to me I deleted my Facebook. Guys I deleted my Facebook!
Jesus f**k Frank
Jeff is going through a breakup
Well how am I supposed to know? I deleted my Facebook!
Had to change my relationship status to single again
And that concludes today's Facebook addiction meeting. Remember, you're not alone in your struggle and we're here for you
Karl, when's our next meeting?
Oh, I'll let you know on Facebook. Just check the group page
Dude did you just poke me?
Okay people, Stacy Zolan from Stockton, California just logged in. Now, let's get that contact going!
Let's get that news face Rolling! - Incoming puppy compilation! - Okay, great counter-attack with a political post!
She's arguing in the comments about what socialism is!
Great, let's not lose that engagement, people! Hit her with that news segment about the blind cat! Great! Steady
Steady!
Sound of the world star alarm!
(Alarm sounds)
We've maintain stability! She's gone into a fight video blackhole! - Great job! She'll be stuck in that hole for hours!
This is what our f**king fore fathers died for (excitement, woo) YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I got like 30 post on my wall cuz my frickin birthday
...Was not where I thought she's supposed to be, you know what I mean?
Guys. I have been talking to this super hot girl on Facebook for the past couple months
We haven't met in person because she's super busy, but I'm falling for her, check her out
Uh-huh - Dude, she's so hot, right? - Yeah. The only thing is, um, that's Scarlett Johansson
Yeah, dude, you're being catfished
What oh
Come on. Alright, I'll un-friend her
Damn
(Knock Knock) Excuse me, Scarlett Johansson
You're needed on the set of the New Avengers movie. -Not right now, Gina. My online boyfriend just broke up with me
He was the one - Don't don't cry - He was the one...
I know. Here just, come here
(Sobs)
We're gonna need some time
This video only has 10 million views, that's kind of low
Probably not - Guys smile for a picture. - Okay
Oh wait - Okay. I know I look stupid in that. - Yeah me too. - Oh my god. I look so good.
I miss Myspace uhh
Oh, see that's what's wrong with Millennials! They all living at their parents' house but don't want to work
*sigh* You know you really shouldn't generalize an entire generation
Dear facebook stranger, you right. I apologize
Sorry if I came off as harsh. Have a good one man
Dear Stranger on Facebook ,You too. Sincerely, Mr. Washington
Wait, did we just resolve an argument on Facebook!?
Yeah!!!!
There is hope for this world!
Ahahahaa
Yeah! There is hope for this world! Hahaha
Every Facebook ever
I'm sorry, what?
(laughing)
Here, check it out
F**k you...
That's actually really funny - He's a p.. he has a photo of david schwimmer on his phone - Also, you really should upgrade from the five hundred linen
count that you have. You haven't been to Bed Bath and Beyond in like two months
Who needs to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond more than every two months
That's what makes me crazy
(laughing)
Those aren't mine. How did I get golden retriever hairs?
Alright, I fuckin swallowed a piece of confetti
(moo)
It went, like, into my lungs
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