Pull out your handcrafted double point knitting needles and get grandma on the phone 'cause we're unraveling some epic yarn.
♪The Doozer Knitting Song by Fraggle Rock♪
Hello internet, and welcome to Game Theory. Like school, except that you learn things.
And talk about video games.
So not like school at all really.
This week to honor the six-month anniversary of my engagement we're checking out the game that played a role in my proposal,
Kirby's Epic Yarn.
A geeky move to say the least but let's face it,
What girl can resist a cute pink puffball?
However,
what if I told you that this game wasn't just an adorable romp through yards of cloth?
That it was in fact a training exercise preparing young gamers to combat a new wave of Black Ops growing in popularity by the year.
Watch on intrepid gamer and be afraid.
Let's look at the facts.
There are some key elements in this game that have been kept shrouded in mystery.
First, the inspiration behind the fabric theme.
Interviews with the development team at Good-Feel
revealed that the idea of a yarn-centric game came from Madoka Yamaguchi,
director of Wario Land Shake It.
Fair enough.
It was an innovative concept in an industry where graphical realism has become the norm.
But,
when asked how he came up with the idea he responded with, and I quote,
"It just sorta came to me."
Really, Madoka?
One day you just woke up and said, "Hey, I know, let's make a game about yarn!"?
I don't buy it.
What could he be hiding?
To find out, let's look at the plot.
For those of you who steered clear of this game because of its technicolor sweetness and childish sensibility,
Here's a recap.
The evil sorcerer Yin-Yarn has escaped from Patch Land,
a quilted world that he has sent into chaos,
and is now trying to turn Dream Land into another realm of yarn.
When Kirby stumbles across him,
Yin-Yarn transports the hero through a magic sock into Patch Land where he too becomes a yarn creation.
And there you have it.
But,
who is this Yin-Yarn?
We in fact get no backstory on the guy.
A mysterious omission considering that he is the main antagonist of the game.
In fact, he doesn't even know his own motivations.
Just look at this.
So Yin-Yarn is less of a fully realized character,
and more of a symbol of some evil force.
An evil force yarn-ifying the world that must be stopped by the powers of good.
But what could this be referring to?
Surely no threat like this actually exists!
False.
They go by many names.
Hardcore Chicks with Sharp Sticks,
Knitta Please,
The Wisconsin Knitting Society.
But they are everywhere, and they are active.
I'm talking about Yarn Stormers.
Knit Taggers.
Groups of females and some males
who have banded together and go about bombing our statues,
fences,
buses and trees.
Bombs of yarn.
Don't believe me?
See the destruction for yourself.
California,
Pennsylvania,
Texas,
New York.
A movement that was just unheard of years ago has exploded across the U.S.,
and the world.
Mexico,
Canada,
France,
Denmark,
Indonesia,
the list goes on and they are showing no signs of stopping.
But most troubling of all is that no one seems to want it to stop.
Yes, it is illegal.
Considered an act of vandalism.
But these grandma graffiti artists boast that most authority figures that have seen them working merely laugh,
take pictures, or offer them suggestions.
The Time magazine article blowing the lid off this guerilla army
earned an astounding two thousand, two hundred, twenty-four thumbs up.
These people are criminals, and we are responding with a thumbs up?
A go get 'em?
LFS, the Ladies Fancywork Society in Denver once operated by night,
but now strut about proudly during the day having been hired by the city
for twenty-five thousand dollars to cover fences with crocheted flowers.
Magda Sayeg,
considered the mother of yarn-bombing, earns upwards of twenty thousand dollars for some of her larger pieces
earns upwards of twenty thousand dollars for some of her larger pieces.
Fortune 500 companies are paying her to wrap their things in yarn.
All this because of an impulse six years ago,
when she covered her boutique's door handle in a blue and pink cozy.
A rebellion was born on that day,
as more and more people are trying to quote,
"Take back the knit"
and brighten dreary cityscapes with bright parking meter sweaters,
subway seat cozies,
and statue leg warmers.
In "Yarn Bombing: The Art of Crochet and Knit Graffiti",
practically patchwork propaganda for this insurgency,
bombers are encouraged to work in the night
and wear "Ninja Black" to avoid capture.
And there are more how-to guides available wherever books are sold!
They are recruiting in front of our faces,
which brings me to,
my final thought.
Yarn Bombs?
Yarn-ifying the world?
Covering things in fabric to make the world more colorful?
Sound familiar?
If Magda Sayeg is the mother of yarn bombing,
could that make Yin-Yarn the father?
Thank goodness then for Kirby.
Whose game is training our youth to stop such macrame madness.
It makes sense that Madoka Yamaguchi didn't want to reveal where he got the idea for a fabric game,
Because he didn't want to tip his hand.
He didn't want them to know that he was subconciously preparing counter yarn-ers everywhere for an impending battle.
A new war on terror.
Seem far-fetched?
Then explain this.
2005 was the year Magda Sayeg first put that cozy on her door handle.
2005 was the same year Good-Feel was established,
the makers of Epic Yarn.
Coincidence? I think not.
Earlier this month, June 11th was international yarn bombing day.
Thank goodness we survived.
Kirby's Epic Yarn,
the new America's Army.
But hey, that's just a theory,
a Game Theory.
Thanks for watching!
♪The Scarn from The Office♪