- Hey, everyone!
It is Wednesday, and that means that I am on the website
under Community Forums, Q&A Videos for videos, or
I'm also on YouTube under my videos when you say,
"Hey, Kati, here's my question,"
or you put, give me a question in my inbox,
and I'm answerin' your questions today.
So today's gonna be a little be quicker because
yesterday was really long, and I'm sorry about that.
I try to keep them shorter.
So, without further adue, before I keep blabbin',
first question is, "Is it common to have the thought
'of suicide cross one's mind nearly everyday?
'I've never acted on the thoughts, but when I feel
'stressed or overwhelmed, the first thought that seems
'to cross my mind to deal with uncomfortable feelings
'is suicide.
'Is there a way to lessen the thoughts?"
It's not, I don't know, it's hard when people say,
"Well is this normal or is this common?"
When people are very depressed and you're fighting
with thoughts of suicidality, having those thoughts
regularly is common.
Is it common for someone like me or someone like
my friend Liz or something, no.
And the difference is, is when things get really
uncomfortable and really stressful for me,
I have a lot of coping skills that I use.
And for me, because everbody's different, right?
I will get my nails done.
I will take a half day off of work.
I'll make some time for myself.
I'll go out to dinner with Sean or with a girlfriend.
I will do things that make me feel good.
Sometimes I'll get a massage.
Sometimes, you guys will notice, sometimes I'll take
a night off from being online because I'm just worn out,
and we have to take care of ourselves, right?
So I would encourage you to look into seeing a therapist,
and I would let them know you that you're
having these thoughts.
You've never acted on it, you don't have a plan,
you just want it to go away, and start working on
other coping skills.
Try things out.
Find out what works for you.
Everbody's different.
And feel free to share what coping skills you use.
What helps you?
Is it listening to music?
Is it hopping on Tumbler and talking with a friend?
What is it?
Okay?
Because I have a feeling that once we increase
the coping skills, those thoughts will go away.
Okay?
Question number 2.
"How can I practice more compassionate self-talk
'when it feels like I'm just lying to myself?"
And I get this a lot, and I'm actually, when I picked
this question on YouTube, I wanted to give you all kudos
because you Thumbs Upped it.
A lot of you liked this question, and so then I know
that it's a more common thought and question,
and you don't even have to ask the same question again.
You can just give it a thumbs up in the comments.
So for future reference, if you ever see a question
that you like and you want me to answer,
give it a thumbs up and it'll pop up to the top,
and I'll see it and be like 12 likes, and I'll think,
"12 people wanted me to answer this, so I will do it."
So the question again, "How do you practice more
compassionate self-talk when it feels like you're lying?"
There are a couple of things.
A lot of people will say, "Fake it 'til you make it.
'Keep saying it until you believe it."
I believe that part of that is true.
Something that I have my clients do is a little bit more
than just self-talk so,
okay, so, the eating disorder, the self-harm voice says,
"Kati, you're stupid and you're lazy."
Right?
And I might talk back to it and be like,
"No, I'm not, I'm not lazy at all."
Or whatever, you know.
Kati, I tell myself, "I'm amazing," or
"I'm getting so much done."
But I find it's better to go back against that
feel-like-you're-lying with evidence,
so when you're talking back and you say,
"No, I'm amazing.
'My best friend just told me I was, and I also did
'so well in class."
Or, "I got a good reward for work because
'I worked so hard."
Or for me, I'd be like, "No, that patient's doing well,
'and I'm working hard, and I've been researching."
And you have to come back to it with a little bit of
evidence, and I find that that really helps.
And if you really struggle, sometimes, check out my
Better Body Image video from ages ago.
I talk a little bit about this, about having
people that you really care about in your life help
you out with this, and you can ask them to give you like,
"What's 2 things that you like about me?"
And you can give them that in return.
I know it sounds really awkward, but we all need to
help spread some positivity, and by you telling them
2 things back, it actually really helps both of you.
So those are my little tips.
And for any of you who've worked on this, like always,
leave your comments, and let us know how you've either
"Faked it 'til you make it," or what works for you
to help you believe the positive self-talk, okay?
Let see, number 3.
"Can anyone work through depression without
a therapist or medication?"
Of course you can.
It's a lot harder and I have patients who've been
struggling for years before they finally call and come in.
It's easier and faster if we get help.
Depression can definitely be, obviously depression
is really a chemical imbalance in our brain where
our Serotonin and our Dopamine levels are not what we need.
And medication can really help that.
And we don't have to be on medication forever, and we
don't have to be in therapy forever, but in the meantime,
it helps us get there quicker so that we can do the
hard work, so that later we can actually change that
chemistry on our own, and that'd be through, like,
positive things that we do and doing helpful things for
ourselves and for others and finding a way to make
our own happiness.
Using the medication and therapy can just make that
happen more quickly, okay?
Number 4, my final question.
"What can I expect from my first psychiatrist appointment?
'I have one coming up and I'm really really nervous."
Psychiatrists will do a couple of things.
There's like a couple options.
Number 1, you might come in and just fill out basic
paperwork like you would for me.
Which would be name, birthday, do you live with
your parents, your insurance information, your
reason for coming in, how did you hear about me,
or whatever.
It can be that kind of stuff, or they may do that and
have you fill out some kind of rating scale.
So it could be a little fill in the bubble, yes/ no,
or rate it from 1 to 5, how often to do you feel suicidal
or anxious or this or that, and they'll have you fill
all that stuff out, and then they'll sit down with you,
and they usually spend about an hour, and they'll go
through all this with you.
They'll talk about your history, if you've been on
any medications before, if you've seen psychiatrist before,
and then they'll just talk with you.
"So what brought you in today?
'What have you been struggling with?
'Are you feeling kinda down?"
Or, you know, they're honestly, a therapist that can
prescribe medication.
I've noticed things have been changed a little bit more
in the wave of healthcare not getting paid for as much.
They may not spend a full hour, and it may be a little
bit more quick, and a lot of times, they're gonna wanna
know more about medications, side effects you may have,
and stuff like that.
They don't wanna necessarily hear your full story.
That's what your therapist is for.
Your psychiatrist is for your medication and
your side effects.
And so if you do get that like kinda colder feeling,
it's just that.
It's medical.
It's not like warm and fuzzy like a therapist,
so know that it's nothing hurtful.
It's not meant to hurt your feelings.
It's just the way that they do business.
And if you're looking for a little more of a warm
and fuzzy feel, then give a call to a therapist, okay?
And many psychiatrists will know who to
refer you to as well.
And the journal topic for today.
Often times, I find that we get so caught up in our own
lives that we forget how what we do can affect other
people, from cutting them off in traffic, to
I dunno, just being kind of cold and rude,
or not friendly to the person who
got your coffee for you this morning,
and so something that I want us all to do because I find
that when I do something nice, like I let somebody in when
I'm waiting in my car in traffic, and I'm like,
"No, you go ahead."
I actually feel better.
And I just made them feel better, so it ends up
benefiting us both.
So think of one thing that you can do either today
or tomorrow to help brighten someone's day.
It can be as simple as, "Hey, I got in the office first, and
'I'm gonna start a pot of coffee," to "Hey, you go in
front of me," or I'm trying to think of what else.
That's really all I had written down.
Like I let people go in front of me at the grocery store
if they only have like 2 items and I have like a
cart full of stuff.
Anything.
Maybe just sending a nice message online.
Let's all do 1 thing in today or tomorrow to help
brighten someone's day, because my guess is that
it'll brighten ours as well, okay?
I'll see you all tomorrow when I'm on Twitter.
Make sure you use the hashtag KatiFAQ,
and I'll be answering your questions.
I love you all.
Have a good night, bye.