>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM HER
STANDUP SPECIALS, "ONE MISSISSIPPI," AND "STAR TREK:
DISCOVERY."
PLEASE WELCOME TIG NOTARO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HELLO.
HELLO.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A FEW MONTHS.
>> YUP, IT'S BEEN ABOUT THREE OR FOUR.
>> Stephen: SOMETHING LIKE, THAT BALLPARK, BALLPARK.
WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?
>> YOU KNOW, JUST -- >> Stephen: I DON'T.
ACTUALLY.
( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER ).
>> I... I'VE JUST BEEN WORKING.
MY WIFE AND I STARTED A PRODUCTION COMPANY, AND WE'VE
BEEN WRITING THINGS TOGETHER.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE COMPANY.
>> THANKS FOR ASKING.
IT'S "SOMETHING FIERCE PRODUCTIONS."
>> Stephen: I LIKE THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IT'S A HIT.
>> WE ACTUALLY HAD A MEETING WITH-- AND I DON'T-- I DON'T
LIKE TO NAME DROP OR ANYTHING, BUT WITH REESE WITHERSPOON.
AND-- YEAH.
>> Stephen: TALENTED YOUNG WOMAN.
>> SHE IS VERY GOOD.
IT'S JUST THIS IS PART OF MY LIFE, AND SO-- ANYWAY, SO
STEPHANIE AND I -- >> Stephen: JUST HANGING WITH
REESE IS PART OF YOUR LIFE.
>> EXACTLY.
I CAN'T CLAIM SHE'S ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS BUT, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE FRIENDLY.
( LAUGHTER )
IT.
>> Stephen: YUP.
>> SO STEPHANIE, MY WIFE, AND I WENT TO MEET WITH REESE AND HER
PRODUCING PARTNER, AND REESE WAS TALKING ABOUT, IN THE MEETING,
HOW SHE'S ONE OF THE SHORTEST PEOPLE ON THE CAST OF "BIG
LITTLE LIES."
>> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> SHE SAID SHE'S 5'1".
AND JUST-- WHAT I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED EARLIER, SIREALIZED IN
THIS MEETING THAT I-- I HAVE A HEARING PROBLEM.
AND THIS IS -- >> Stephen: ME IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE MEETING IT OCCURRED TO YOU.
>> WELL, AFTER THE MEET WHIG GOT SOME MORE INFORMATION.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
SO REESE SAID, YOU KNOW, I'M 5'1"."
SHE SAID, "LAURA DERN IS 5'10".
NICOLE KIDMAN IS 5'11".
AND SHE LEANS 5'8".
AND THEN I INTERJECTED, "OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S SO INTERESTING BECAUSE YEARS AGO, I DATED A WOMAN THAT
WAS SIX FEET TALL, AND I THINK SHE WAS KIND OF INSECURE ABOUT
HER HEIGHT, SO SHE HUNCHED.
( LAUGHTER )
SIMILAR TO REESE'S RESPONSE.
( LAUGHTER )
WIFE.
AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE GOING, "YEAH, SO..." AND I
THOUGHT I WAS-- IT SEEMS LIKE I SAID SOMETHING THAT CONTRIBUTED
TO THE CONVERSATION.
( LAUGHTER )
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HEIGHT, SURE."
BUT IT WAS CONVERSATION ADJACE ADJACENT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND THEN WE WRAPPED UP THE MEETING, AND IT WAS LIKE, "OKAY,
BYE-BYE."
AND WE WALKED OUT, AND THEN STEPHANIE SAID, "UHMWHAT...
IN THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT IN THERE?"
( LAUGHTER )
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ACTRESS NAMED SHAILENE.
AND SO WHAT I HEARD WAS THAT NICOLE KIDMAN WAS 5'11", AND SHE
LEANS 5'8".
( LAUGHTER )
WITH, "OH, MY GOSH!
THAT'S SO CRAZY.
I DATED A WOMAN THAT HUNCHED.
BYE."
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A NEW TELEVISION SHOW CALLED "UNDER
THE ROCK WITH TIG NOTORO."
>> I WOULDN'T USE THE WORD "TELEVISION."
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A NEW SHOW...
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: A NEW SHOW...
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: THAT IS ON VIDEO.
>> IT'S ONLINE.
>> Stephen: IT'S ONLINE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT'S AN ONLINE SHOW.
YOU CAN GET IT AT "FUNNY OR DIE."
>> YOU CAN SEE IT ON AMAZON, TOO, I THINK.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.
I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.
EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS.
WHAT IS "UNDER THE ROCK WITH TIG NOTORO"?
>> "UNDER A ROCK" IS-- IT WAS A SHOW CREATED BECAUSE I HAVE A
HARD TIME RECOGNIZING FAMOUS PEOPLE.
AND SO -- >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
PLUGGED INTO POPULAR CULTURE?
>> I DON'T FOLLOW POP CULTURE.
I FOLLOW MUSIC AND I FOLLOW DOCUMENTARIES, BUT I REALLY KIND
OF MISS EVERYTHING ELSE.
AND WHY I MAYBE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SHAILENE.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> BUT ANYWAY, I HAVE PEOPLE ON MY TALK SHOW, AND IT'S ME
INTERVIEWING THEM, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THEY ARE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A--
WHY WOULD ANY CELEBRITY COME ON YOUR SHOW, BY THE WAY?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE AND IT'S YOU WITH-- DO YOU
KNOW WHO IT IS.
>> JAMES VAN DER BEEK.
>> Stephen: OF "DAWSON'S CREEK."
AND YOU, WHEN HE CAME IN FOR THE INTERVIEW, YOU HAD NO IDEA WHO
HE WAS, RIGHT?
>> NO CLUE.
>> HERE'S THE FIRST CLUE.
>> A STREAM.
>> OR A...
>> RIVER.
>> LESS RAPID THAN A RIVER.
>> A CREEK.
ALL RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER )
>> I WANT TO HOLD ON TO THIS.
>> OKAY, YOU HOLD ON TO IT.
>> BECAUSE THIS IS FUN TOW ME.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: THAT IS FANTASTIC.
I LOVE THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
DO THIS.
WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS, OKAY?
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS.
I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF SOME POP CULTURE
FIGURES.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: AND NOBODY TELL HER WHAT THEY ARE, OKAY, BECAUSE
IF SHE DOESN'T GET THEM, I'M NOT TELLING HER, OKAY.
YOU WOULD RATHER MAINTAIN YOUR IGNORANCE, WOULDN'T YOU?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
AND MAYBE THEY'D BE A GUEST ON MY SHOW.
>> Stephen: MAYBE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THEIR PHOTOGRAPH AND YOU TELL ME IF YOU KNOW WHO
THEY ARE.
YOU HAVE TO LEAN FORWARD A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE THE CAMERA
HAS TO SEE THIS, TOO.
WHO IS THIS?
>> THE ROCK.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
WHO'S THIS?
( BELL RINGS ).
>> DON'T KNOW.
DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS?
MAYBE GOING TO BE THE NEXT BOND?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS?
SUPERMODEL?
"PROJECT RUNWAY" HOST?
>> OH... UHM...
>> Stephen: NOPE.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: NOPE?
THESE ARE ALL VERY GOOD PERFORMERS, BY THE WAY.
( LAUGHTER )
>> I KNOW HIM.
>> Stephen: WHICH ONE, HIM?
>> CHRIS.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> I'VE MET HIM.
( BELL RINGS ) AND HE'S FROM "THE OFFICE."
>> Stephen: WHO?
>> HE'S FROM "THE OFFICE."
>> Stephen: WHAT'S HIS NAME?
>> CHRIS PRATT.
>> Stephen: RIGHT ( BELL RINGS )
( APPLAUSE )
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
HERE'S A HINT.
>> CHRIS.
>> Stephen: HIS NAME'S CHRIS.
HIS NAME'S CHRIS.
WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE THE OTHER TWO NAMES ARE.
>> CHRIS EVANS?
>> >> Stephen: YES!
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: LASTLY, WHO'S THIS?
>> UH...
>> Stephen: HE LOVES QUAKER OATS.
( LAUGHTER )
>> I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME.
BUT I -- >> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW HIS
NAME.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: HE'S GOT THE DIABETES.
( LAUGHTER )
NAME THERE, TIG.
>> I PREFER TO CALL IT LIVIAVETEUS.
>> Stephen: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR SHOW.
( APPLAUSE )
>> NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: "UNDER A ROCK WITH TIG NOTARO," IS ON "FUNNY OR
DIE."
IT'S NOT A TV SHOW.
TIG NOTARO, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK