TALKING ABOUT DONOR'S CHOOSE AND, AGAIN, LAST YEAR, I HELPED
FUND EVERY CLASSROOM PROJECT IN SOUTH CAROLINA IN A SINGLE DAY
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ONE OF THE THINGS I LEARNED
LATER AND THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY IS SOME OF THE PROJECTS WE
FUNDED WERE AT MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, THE ONE I WENT TO WHEN I
WAS A LITTLE KID, AND IT'S STILL THERE.
THAT REALLY BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES FOR ME BECAUSE THIS IS
WHERE MY LIFE WAS CHANGED.
FOREVER IN FOURTH GRADE BY MY TEACHER, MISS KATSOS.
SO I WENT BACK TO MY ACTUAL CLASSROOM AT STILES POINT
ELEMENTARY AND SAT DOWN WITH MISS KATSOS FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN 40 YEARS.
JIM?
♪ >> STEPHEN!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
>> Stephen: HI, MS. KATSOS!
OH, GOODNESS!
>> Stephen: I'M SO SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.
MRS. KEELING IS YOUR NAME NOW.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU MS. KATSOS?
EVERYONE HAS ONE TEACHER THAT MEANS MORE THAN ANYONE IN THEIR
CHILDHOOD AND YOU WERE IT FOR ME.
YOU WERE MY TEACHER OF TEACHERS AND YOU KNEW ME WHEN I WAS STEVE
COL-BERT.
>> I DID.
THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THAT NINE OR
TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY WHO YOU TAUGHT FOR ONE YEAR IN THE EARLY
1970s?
WHO'S STEVE COL-BERT, HOW ABOUT THAT?
>> ONE OF THE BRIGHTEST STUDENTS I'VE EVER TAUGHT AND VERY
CLEVER, AND YOUR VOCABULARY WAS BEYOND.
IT WAS AMAZING.
>> Stephen: PLEASE, GO ON, DON'T BE PARSIMONIOUS.
(LAUGHTER) >> I REMEMBER YOU WERE AN AVID
READER.
>> Stephen: I DID.
I LIKED TO READ.
DO YOU SEE ANY OF HIM IN ME NOW?
>> THERE'S STILL A LOT OF BOY IN YOUR, STEPHEN.
YOU LOVE LIFE, ENJOY PEOPLE AND YOU WERE DRAMATIC A BIT, SO THE
DRAMA STILL COMES OUT.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: YOU GAVE ME A
SPECIAL TEST AFTER SCHOOL ONE DAY IN THE SPRING, I THINK, OF
1974.
I REMEMBERED FOR MANY YEARS ANSWERING FASTER THAN YOU COULD
PUSH THE TIMER TO START IT AND MAKING YOU LAUGH.
>> OH, YES.
>> Stephen: AND WANTING TO MAKE YOU LAUGH AGAIN TO SEE IF I
COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH EVERY TIME BY HOW FAST I COULD ANSWER THE
QUESTION.
YOU RECORDED ME.
>> I RECORDED IT ON A LITTLE CASSETTE.
THIS IS THE ORIGINAL TAPE AND I EVEN LABELED IT STEPHEN COLBERT.
♪ >> ALL RIGHT, WE'LL MOVE TO THE
NEXT TEST NOW.
AND THIS ONE IS GOING TO BEMATE.
IF I CUT AN APPLE IN HALF, HOW MANY PIECES WILL I HAVE?
>> YOU WILL HAVE TWO.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE FAST.
JOHN HAD FOUR PENNIES AN HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM TWO MORE.
HOW MANY PENNIES DID HE HAVE ALTOGETHER?
>> SIX.
YOU'RE TOO FAST!
(LAUGHTER) ♪
>> Stephen: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAVED THAT TAPE ALL THESE
YEARS.
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: I HATE TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
I DID NOT HAVE THE GREATEST ACADEMIC CAREER AFTER YOU.
YOU WERE THE LAST TEACHER I TRIED FOR.
>> AS IT TURNED OUT, EVERYTHING CAME OUT WONDERFUL.
>> Stephen: EVERYTHING CAME OUT JUST FINE.
SO THE LESSON WE'RE TRYING TO TELL KIDS OUT THERE IS YOU DON'T
REALLY HAVE TO APPLY YOURSELF.
>> WELL...
>> Stephen: NO, WE GOT IT.
I THINK THAT'S THE LESSON.
BEFORE WE GO.
WOULD YOU DO ONE THING FOR ME?
>> WOULD BE GLAD TO.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU GIVE ME THIS?
>> OH, STEPHEN, YOU ARE A STAR.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) LOVE YOU, STEPHEN.