I would say one of the top three struggles that guys have with women and dating is texting.
I feel that texting causes a lot more damage, a lot more harm than good.
I work with a lot of guys in the Tripp Advice coaching program, guys who sign up for coaching
to work with me and help them in terms of getting more women into their life and help
them maneuver all the women that they end up seeing and all the women they get numbers
from.
And texting is a big part of this.
These days, we're not doing any more calling, we're texting.
I don't know what's gonna happen 10 years from now, but right now we are texting each
other.
And the problem is that guys are doing it completely wrong.
What I believe is that really you should never be texting a girl ever.
Unless you're asking her out.
There are no exceptions to this rule.
Guys are like well what about this?
What about this?
Nothing.
Every time I get a new client they ask me something about texting.
Usually it's like what should I say to her to keep the conversation going?
How do I keep things going before a date?
What if she forgets about me?
Should I text her something funny?
Can I build attraction over text?
What can I do to get her to know me better through text?
All these questions.
And the reason why I believe texting is so harmful is because there is so much room for
error.
What do I mean by this?
I mean that when you're texting someone, you don't know exactly how they're saying what
they're saying.
That's why there are emojis.
We use emojis to let the person know how we're feeling so they kind of get a gist on what
we're saying and how it's all working together.
But that's a problem in itself, which I'll get to in a second.
The whole idea here is you don't really know how a person is conveying what they're saying
so you don't know how it's said.
And most of the time, it's fine.
But then I'd say about 25% of the time you just really have no idea how they're saying
it.
For example, if you're trying to make a joke or you're teasing a girl or you're making
light and you're doing it in a way but she's reading it in her own voice (because that's
what we do when we read text messages, we're reading it in our own voice in our own dialect)
when we do that, we don't necessarily know what the other person is saying or how they're
saying it.
That 25% that you're texting could be completely misconstrued.
And this is a problem because of this room for error, what ends up happening is you might
screw up a chance with a girl that you like, but then you screw it up because you said
something that she didn't get, didn't make sense.
This whole idea, there's a lot of room for error especially with emojis.
I tell guys would James Bond use an emoji?
Let's not send emojis to girls.
It's kind of girly.
It's kind of weird.
And that's not you.
You're a guy, you're masculine.
You're not gonna be sending all these heart emojis and laugh emojis and things like that.
I'm not saying that you're not supposed to have any emotion or be emotionless.
But doing it over text is cheesy.
It's cheesy.
It's not cool.
It seems kind of weird.
And it's very childish too.
If anything, there's a lot of room for error when you're sending these emojis.
It's hard to say something over text, make a joke of it and then use an emoji and now
you're just doing everything wrong.
You don't want to potentially make the mistake of turning her off or something between you
two being weird.
Instead, just wait for you guys to be together in the same room.
When you guys are on a date, when you guys are spending time with each other.
Do all of the communication there.
Get to know each other there.
Have a fun conversation and tease and make light of things there.
Show your emotion there.
Don't do it over text.
And here's the thing; a lot of guys what they're doing is they're doing all this texting and
you're probably texting a girl so you get a response from her so you can get a nice
cozy feeling inside.
That is called validation.
That's why you guys are doing all this texting.
You might not know it or maybe right now you're having an aha moment.
It's like oh duh.
The reason why I'm texting her is so I can get a response back so she can say something
that I like so I can feel all good inside and make sure that she still likes me.
If you want to make sure that she still likes you, the best text you can ever send is the
text that gets you to to meet up in person with each other.
If you want to know if she likes you, if you want that validation, get her in front of
you.
If you want to know for sure if she's interested.
Also you know what's really unattractive?
Is you as a guy on his purpose, on his path, sitting there all day texting a girl.
What you're sub-communicating to her is that you are not busy.
You don't have better things to do.
That you can text all day long.
That's not attractive.
What's attractive is a guy on his mission, doing his thing, being busy and plus you being
busy and you not texting her all day actually makes her like you more.
I know it's counterintuitive.
You might think no, I should text her and let her know that I'm interested because I'm
paying attention to her.
But really what makes a girl attracted to you is you not putting all your cards on the
table.
You having a life, you being busy, you having hobbies, you having friends, you having some
sort of social life, you having a well rounded life.
That is what is attractive to women, not sitting there texting.
So I hope I've made a little bit of a case here.
Anything you say could be potentially misconstrued.
There's a lot of room for error.
You're showing her that you're not busy and you can text her all day.
As I said earlier, but I'll put a little more emphasis on this, it's more powerful to get
to know her in person than it is over text.
So all these things I'm saying to you are really causing more harm than good when you're
trying to text a girl.
Even if you guys have a date that set out a week from now and you want to make sure
she lands on the date, you don't need to text her.
You don't need to be communicating to her that way.
If she doesn't end up on that date, if she flakes on you, if she doesn't show up, well
the reason is, is because she never really liked you that much.
She never really was that attracted to you, so it probably wasn't gonna work out anyways.
And if anything, if she can't hang out and it's so far away, fine, go talk to another
girl.
Go out, meet another girl, go on another date, spend time with someone else.
You don't have to be just pining after that one girl who's so busy that she can't see
you in three weeks.
You don't need to sit there setting the date three weeks from now and then texting her
every single day.
You can set the date if you'd like to.
But don't text her.
Hopefully it ends up happening, confirm the day of.
If it doesn't happen, who cares.
Those three weeks that you've been going out, you've been already meeting other women that
you've been going on dates with.
I want you to be going out talking to many women so that you don't have to sit there
and text all day with the same one.
And maybe you've been dating a girl for a couple of months.
You know what, if you need to desperately communicate with them and you're not seeing
them for a few days, get on the phone.
The phone is a great way to connect with someone.
Really, I can't believe I'm saying this, but old school.
It's so funny, I have to say that.
But it's an old school way of communicating with someone that works really well because
you can hear their voice.
And yes, it's not as good as in person.
But at the very least, you can understand what they're saying, there's little room for
error, you guys can connect a little bit deeper.
So get on the phone with them, talk to them if you need to say something to them, if you
want to talk about something but you can't wait a full week.
That's for the exceptions for the people who've been dating for a while.
I don't necessarily think you should be getting on the phone with anyone unless you really
have to when you first start dating.
Save it for the time when you guys meet up or if you are forced to be in your home.
There's some sort of quarantine or some reason why you have to be at home, then great, get
on the phone, communicate with them that way and then eventually you'll meet up with them
in person.
But don't sit there texting all day.
You have better things to do with your life, you do.
There's so much more that you can do because here's what happens.
I work with guys in the Tripp Advice coaching program and they get freaked out.
She hasn't responded to me, she's waiting too long, he's not asking me questions back,
she hasn't replied yet.
Everything basically around the idea of her replying.
And then it causes this emotional turmoil and then it's hard for you to go about your
day and to focus on other things.
Not only is there room for error in terms of attracting her but it's gonna cause all
these issues in your head for you.
So it's going to be causing problems on both ends.
Especially if they're not responding to you and they're not talking to you.
And then what's even worse is if you're sitting there and you're texting, they don't respond
and then you can't help it, your emotions take over and then you double text and you
triple text and now you've shown that you're needy, that you're not busy and you've completely
unattracted her because you're showing how desperate you are for that attention.
If you need help with this and you want to sign up for coaching and you want me to guide
you through the whole process of exactly what detects the girl when you want to meet up
and how to go out there and meet women and make this a reality for you, the reality of
dating multiple women that you're interested in, going on dates, having an active dating
life, if this is something that you want go to www.coachedbytripp.com.
The link is in the description down below.
Fill out the application form.
You and I can work together and we can focus on your specific journey where I can help
you one on one to get you to the point where you have the dating life that you deserve,
that you really want and that's going to be really fun.
You can go out there and meet lots of women that are going to be compatible for you.
Go check that out.
www.coachedbytripp.com.
Fill out the application today so you and I can work together.
And remember texting only if you're trying to meet up with them.
Nothing else.
Don't be focusing on anything else in terms of texting unless you want a date.
Follow that rule and I hope it works.
I know it will and I'll see you on the next video.