now the the ego which is a mind made sense of self mind made identity that consists of
narratives thoughts that you identify with the earliest story about the rising of the ego is
the myth of narcissus this is of course where there were narcissism comes from and every ego
has very strong narcissistic elements to it the story of narcissus is there was a young man very
beautiful in ancient greece and this young man because it was a time before mirrors were invented
and before we had the wonderful invention of selfies he had never seen himself
and one day he looked into a pool of water and he saw his own reflection
and he was so fascinated by his own reflection the story says that he fell in love with himself
but my interpretation is really that he became obsessed with himself but not with himself with
the image of himself and after that he was no longer a happy person in various versions of
that story but his life didn't go well after that so that i believe that sometimes very deep wisdom
embodied in mythology in myth it really what it points to is the arising of the human ego which
is a kind of phantom self that you carry around that you mistake for who you actually are it's
it's reconsists of identifications identifications with possessions identification with your own body
including of course the color of your skin it's part of your own body identification with
things that you can do abilities things you know um now what does it mean identification with
it means you derive your sense of self from something that is not you so let's say it's
it's my my car and it could start for a little child who gets a toy car
and so the child is given a toy car and that's the beginning of the ego is the feeling of the child
this is mine so there's a certain identification with the the toy the self-identification so it
enhances because it only works if another child does not have that toy then it really
works this is my car so it enhances a a certain sense of identity and identity is something that
you humans desperately seek after meeting the the needs of food and shelter
one could almost say the next thing after that is the psychological need in human beings for a
sense of identity and the first thing that humans do and that you cannot there's no preventing this
they seek an identity by identifying with this that or the other later the adult may have a car
and derives part of their sense of identity from having this car but it only works because it's
compared the ego is comparative the image in your mind of who you are it only works
because other people don't have it so imagine you have a rolls-royce and it enhances your
sense of self you but every time you look at it you sit in it you are seen by other people
it enhances your identity your sense of self now imagine a scenario where let's say there's a kind
of twilight zone suddenly you wake up in a reality where every human being at the age of 20 is given
it's the same rolls royce everybody drives exactly the same rolls-royce suddenly it would no longer
serve to enhance your identity because you have nothing to compare itself to because you need
the ego needs ultimately it seeks some kind of superiority it it compares itself to others in one
way or another it seeks some kind of superiority over others it's an unconscious process
there's always an unease behind it because the ego is never feels really at ease or fulfilled
there's always an underlying sense of lack of insufficiency of not enough i am not enough
because ultimately it's only a mental image that you mistake for who you are it's often associated
with a narrative in your mind that tells you about my life you call it my life me and my life this is
me this is my life people have a relationship with themselves isn't that strange they have a
relationship with that people so this is why you have to i love i hate myself i love myself in both
schedules it's better to love yourself than to hate yourself but in both cases there's a duality
there's a split that has happened there's you and there's a self that you either hate or love
so the question is if there is the self that you either hate or love
who are you who is the one that hates or loves itself what is going on here the
the dog does not have that problem because the dog has not arrived yet at the ego
the dog has no self image the animal does not yet have an ego so the dog is itself the dog has no
problem with body image or self-esteem because the the dog is and this is why most animals are
more joyous than less problematic than humans they do not carry the weight of the self
what the buddha called the self one of the main teachings of the buddha is to recognize
the unreality of the self that it is a mental construct that you mistake for who you are so
ultimately the ego then the essence of ego can you could say is ident complete identification
with thoughts so and the recurring thoughts in your mind that tell you who you are
that's the ego and for people who are unconscious of that
they are so in the grip of these thought forms that they are virtually
asleep there's nobody there other than the dream the dream of thought the the phantom self
so waking up means to suddenly recognize that the thoughts that go through your head continuously
but also the emotions that reflect those thoughts are not who you are so even the first beginning of
awakening spiritual awakening one could say is to recognize that certain thoughts are continuously
arising in your mind and you for a moment you have stepped out of that
and you recognize it's a stepping back one could say underneath it all there's this vast realm of
conscious presence there is a presence there without which you wouldn't be able to perceive
anything you wouldn't be able to think anything it's a little bit like i compare it sometimes
too before you live on the surface of the ocean you're a little ripple on the surface of the ocean
and this ripple only knows itself as a ripple and it is it it looks at other ripples and sometimes
feels threatened by other ripples or wants to use other ripples to enhance its old sense of self
and it's always fearful it always compares itself to other ripples
a very unpleasant and frustrating way to live it hasn't realized the depths of its being
because the ripple is only a temporary expression of the vastness of the ocean
but it doesn't know that so if the ripple for a moment comes to us if the the continuous thought
in this analogy the rebel of course is the human being and the ripple when the rebels stop thinking
for a moment and this is the key for a moment you come to a cessation of the stream of thinking
and what's left when you're not thinking about your your history your personal history
or the future you're just becoming aware of this moment yourself
this moment but what is that self it's no longer the historical self or you can't
say very much about it there is an underlying sense of presence of a life conscious presence
it's still it's alive the awakening can begin with realizing that you are not the thoughts
that go through your mind that's the beginning now what has arisen at that moment awareness suddenly
you realize that there is a dimension of consciousness in you that's not thinking
but just conscious and that is your essence identity to be rooted in that it's ultimately
very simple i don't know why they don't teach that at school i mean the most important life lesson
is the transcendent dimension of of of life of who you are
to find all the ancient teachings using different terms and different words they all point
to this possibility of realizing the transcendent dimension of who you are whether the buddha
calls it the buddha actually calls it the translation is shunyata emptiness
but better translation would be spaciousness that's the essence of who you asked in the utter
spaciousness jesus talks about the kingdom of heaven which in my translation is not i translated
kingdom i translate this time i translate it as dimension and heaven which is the vast
heaven when you look up at the sky that's the closest thing you can get
to spaciousness in in the sense perceived world the closest thing you can get to stations if you
look at the vastness of the sky or heaven in many languages heaven and sky is the same word
so you look at the vastness of sky which is vast spaciousness so the kingdom of heaven is
the dimension of spaciousness it's a dimension of consciousness this is why then they asked jesus
where is the kingdom of heaven when is it going to come and he said the kingdom of heaven cannot come
with signs to be perceived you can never say it's over here or it's over there
because kingdom of heaven is within you in fact he was saying it is the essence of who you are
consciousness is but it's not only the essence of who you are it's the essence of the universe
itself because you are you are just a microscope of the universe so when you realize the essence
of who you are the universe is realizing its own essence through you this little thing through you
you