Here are 3 stories.
The links for these stories will be provided in the description.
1st Story.
This is a lot, and I'm sorry.
I just really need an outside opinion from people who can't say anything.
For story purposes, I'm in IT, and she's a counselor at a methadone clinic.
So, a few weeks ago, for the first time in months, my girlfriend went out with her brother to drink at the city fair.
They were together up until midnight, and when he went to the bathroom, she took off.
He tried calling her ten times, and sending a GPS request, and she denied, or ignored them all.
I was at home with the kids sleeping, and when I was getting a bottle at 3 in the morning, she came stumbling in, drunk.
I could tell something was off, she didn't give me a kiss, or anything, and snuck down to the bedroom downstairs.
The next day, I asked her what happened, and she said she met up with a coworker who was having a bonfire.
Ok, whatever, why didn't you bring your brother?
Blah blah, a little fishy.
but I brushed it off.
and moved on.
Fast forward a few days, and she says, I can't bring her lunch anymore, which I have been doing for the last year or two, and then, she proceeds to turn her friends list private, to only see mutual friends between people.
Started to get more suspicious, and I brought it up, and she says, I don't want to talk about it again, I did nothing wrong, and I have nothing more to say about it.
WOW.
So next week rolls around, I start taking action, if I'm wrong, I'm an asshole, if I'm right, then I'm justified.
I had her Facebook login info, and I took an old phone and activated it with location sharing, and stashed it in her car.
Weekend comes around, and she's talking about going to the beach with a girlfriend that she can only communicate with on Facebook.
I look at the messages, and she's lying, there are no messages from her.
I confront her about lying straight to my face about it, and she denies and calls me a creep, and an asshole.
So I leave, and she has to stay and watch the kids.
The very next day, we talk and kind of hash things out, and she proceeds to ask me to go to the beach again, I say fine, whatever.
She kind of makes jokes about me wanting to know where she is by sending me snap pictures at every stop, mall, tanning bed, whatever.
She ends up going to the beach until 9:30 at night, no updates, then she goes to a restaurant.
No updates.
So I decided to play detective.
I take my parents' car, and post up five spots with a view of the door.
She comes walking out with a guy, and I confront them.
No tears, no apologies, no denials.
Look this guy up on Facebook and get his name, and did some snooping into his background.
He has a two page rap sheet including battery and domestic issues, meth possession, and disorderly conduct.
I find out, he's a patient of hers the next day, and they have been having sessions for six months.
I have the opportunity to get revenge, and I'm having a hard time not reporting her to her boss, and getting her license revoked.
Tell me why I shouldn't, besides that, we have two kids together.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with a patient, and she's a counselor.
I really want to get her fired and punished, but the kids would suffer.
Thoughts?
2nd Story.
I am 34, and my wife is 40.
We have been married for 12 years, she started an affair with a colleague less than a year after our child was born.
I caught them chatting by pure accident.
Confronted her, and was blamed that it was my fault, since I didn't pay her any attention since the child came.
It's not that I have not paid attention, I noticed she was emotional, stressed and burdened by things around her and at work.
So, I stopped asking things from her, like being intimate, or helping around the house or with the child.
I shouldered it all, so she could rest, since I thought that was what she needed.
Knowing what I know now, she was probably looking for a way to break up, and or spend more time with her affair partner.
She said she would give us a chance and stop talking with him.
I believed her, and about a year went by, until she said, ”No, I can't anymore”.
I knew she was still talking with her affair partner, and I found messages.
So, she looked for an apartment and found one and moved out in August last year.
I helped her move.
But, she still spent a lot of time with me, and our child, until she decided in January of this year, to move for real into her apartment.
She said she needed to do this to find herself, and to figure out what she wanted in life.
I have read enough stories here to know what that means, don't have any real proof, but I am very certain what she has been doing.
I decided to make myself busy with other things, working out, and attending work events to try to focus on myself.
However, I missed our family regardless, during all this time.
I still do.
But, I would never admit that to her.
I told my wife in the beginning, I will never come asking you for anything, and it all comes down to you, if you want to commit to our family, and solve this.
But, by the time that happens, there is no guarantee that I am interested in fixing it.
Time goes by, and we sometimes on weekends do something together with our child.
I get vibes that she is regretting and wants to fix things.
But, she never admits to it.
But somehow, I get the feeling it will be fine.
Until last week when I again, by mistake, saw that she was chatting with her affair partner, and declaring, ”I love u” to each other.
That's when I decided enough already.
I talked with her that evening, and said I won’t put up with this anymore.
You are married, and have a boyfriend at the same time.
Let's just sign the divorce papers and be over with it.
After a lot of talking and crying from her side, she signed it.
I asked her for no Communications, unless it's regarding our child.
It's been barely a week since we signed the papers.
But, she writes short sentences to me about our child now and then.
I am devastated, since I probably had built up the expectations we would reconcile.
But, here we are.
I am sad and down for the most part, I try to occupy my mind to not think.
But it's just so hard.
I want my family, but I hate what she has become, and done to us.
Sorry for the bad formatting, I wrote on the phone.
3rd Story
My wife is 33, and I am 36.
We have been together for the past 6 years.
All was great, until March, when she left me for a younger guy.
We didn't have any real problems, no prior infidelity, I had a good job to support us both, while she's in school getting her degree, we were planning for a kid next year, we lived together for 5 of those 6 years very happily.
We moved into a home a few years back, and have made it our own.
I have supported both of us while she has been in school for the past 2 years.
She met a younger guy at school, he’s 33, and she began hanging out with him, much to me being uncomfortable.
I was reassured for months that he was only a friend.
He came to the house, and met me twice, and I've always had a bad feeling.
I could only imagine, if it were flipped, and I was hanging out with a younger girl from school and bringing her home.
2 months into knowing him, she told me he asked her out on a date, and she agreed.
I was, and still am, madly in love with her.
She has been all I've known for my 30’s, and I've had no interest in anyone else.
I want to keep building our family stronger, not starting over.
Their thing lasted for about 2 months, and ended very poorly.
During that time, she was still living with me, and I was still supporting her in school, as I was reassured early on, that she was not actually interested in him long-term.
And just needed to get it out of her system, so she can focus on me and us, and our future.
Reading that back now, I must have been incredibly stupid to accept it.
But, I continued to support her.
They had a very bad breakup, and she talked to me, apologizing for everything she did.
She doesn't know what she was thinking, she regrets it all, and she wants to work on us.
She never wanted anything like that, and missed me through it all, but she needed it fully out of her system, before she could move on, and not have those feelings in the future.
Again, if this were flipped, and I left her to do this, it would have been very much another story.
Despite all of this, she continued to talk to him, at school, text, phone, video calls regularly, while still reassuring me, she does not want him, and wants to work on us.
I've been uncomfortable with this, as she has gone out to see him a few times after
. I feel that something is obviously wrong, since she will still talk to me about him, and seems to try to impress him, at my expense], by almost giving
him the impression that she wants him back, so that he does not get involved with any other girls.
He started dating someone else, and my wife became much more attached to him again, wanting to hang out after work, while telling me, she doesn't want him in any relationship type of way, and that she only wants me.
Typing it out, I feel I know the answer.
But, it has me in such a mindfog, that I feel like whenever we begin to get back on-track, she begins to lead him on again, and distance herself from me.
She's almost trying to give both of us the impression that things will work out.
What do you do when you love someone so much that you put yourself through ongoing pain in hopes of a brighter end of the tunnel?
I feel like I need to give up, but I also feel like it gets so close to becoming one again.
The longer it goes on, the more I feel myself distancing, and not being able to get back to where we were.
Well, In my opinion, especially in the last story, this guy should just flat out divorce this woman, I don’t know what he is waiting on.
This is the kind of behavior a lot of men exhibit, when a woman acts like this, just send her packing.
Don’t ever let someone put you on a shelf.
Life is too short for that.
And I always say, don’t ever let someone make a fool out of you!
Until next time.