In this video, we're going to be talking about how to tell if your ex is at the new beginnings
stage of getting back together. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where
we help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for without having to
play mind games, without having to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be
someone or something that you are not because you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing,
and wonderful person that you are. And if you agree with me, do me a favor by hitting
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Now, we are, of course, also talking about the five stages of getting back together in
this video. New beginnings is one of them. And unless this is the first video of ours
that you've seen because someone hit that thumbs up button, this is one of those five
stages of getting back together. And if you do want to learn more about how to navigate
through those five stages of getting back together, we do have that course called the
Ex Solution Program. You can find information on that down below in the description box.
You're more than welcome to sign up if it sounds like it's a good fit for you. If it's
not a good fit for you, no worries. But let's go ahead and get into this video.
So if you've arrived here at the new beginnings stage and you think that potentially you might
be at this new beginning stage, congratulations. You've probably done a fair amount of work
to get here. I know that most of the time, it's a lot of work to get to this point. And
it's understandable that you might be a little bit in disbelief. So let's go ahead and talk
about that and let's go ahead and see if maybe you and your ex might be at the new beginnings
stage. First of all, though, if you don't know about these five stages, you might want
to check out this video series up there that lays it out. Again, if you're new here, if
this is the first video of ours that you've seen, you should probably get up to speed
on that. A lot of people have said it's been really helpful for them and really insightful.
Maybe you'll find it helpful and insightful too.
Okay. So again, you've done a lot of work to get here. I'm sure you have your own battle
scars in a certain sense to show for it. And I want to just acknowledge that you have probably
done a lot of work yourself, you've probably put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to
get here. And I want to just congratulate you for that. So how do you know if your ex
is at new beginnings? And how do you know if it is time to actually do something like
have the talk about getting back together? So if you recall from the previous video about
the crisis point, your ex is having this struggle of taking this from a real, sorry, a hypothetical
possibility of what would it be like to interact with you that they've had at earlier stages
and they're taking it into the tangible concrete realm of like, "Oh, wow. I actually do have
feelings for you. This isn't just me being curious about what it's like to talk to my
ex." But it's like, "I actually do have feelings for my ex. I actually do like my ex. I actually
do, dare I say, love my ex." And getting them to make that decision to get off the fence
is usually the main obstacle that people have before they end up getting into new beginnings.
Now, sometimes there isn't really a major obstacle. Sometimes the obstacle can just
be an emotional obstacle of like, "Oh, I don't know. I'm worried I might get hurt again."
Or something like that. Other times, the obstacle could be something definitely external that
you can point a finger to like they're in a rebound relationship.
But if you've gotten to this point, there either wasn't an obstacle to begin with, or
you've managed to overcome that obstacle. And if that's the case, then there should
be really no major problems between you and your ex. The two of you should not have any
significant struggles that you're dealing with. Yeah, they might be a little bit concerned
or hesitant about getting back together with you and giving it another shot. But when it
comes to your actual interactions, there's probably not a whole lot that you're really
butting heads on. Yeah, there might be little things here and there that cause a little
bit of friction, but it's probably nothing major. And then beyond that, there's probably
also no major logistical things keeping the two of you apart like rebound relationships,
for example. And if that's the case, then really, I think you probably are at this new
beginnings stage. When I'm working with someone and they say,
"Well, hey, what do I do next?" What I'm really looking for is I'm listening for places where
there could be an emotional block in terms of what could be stopping them and their ex
from connecting emotionally. If that block isn't there then, okay, things are looking
pretty good. And if there's no external things keeping them apart like a rebound relationship
or some long distance thing. For some people, long distance can be a big deal. For other
people, not so much. Or maybe something else like, oh, well, I'd have to tell my friends
or family, or things along those lines. And if all of that is not a factor, then it's
like, "Okay." I mean, there's really nothing for me to work on but to just kind of push
you out of your comfort zone a little bit and actually have the talk with your ex about
being back together in a relationship. And so that is often really the main obstacle
at this point, just this sort of disbelief of like, "Are we really here? Are we really,
after everything that we've been through, after everything that I've been through, after
the entire emotional roller coaster of hot and cold and mixed messages and all of that,
could this really be it?" And so what you want to do is you want to just push past your
comfort zone a little bit, whatever is normal between you and your ex. There's probably
some thing that feels a little bit scary. And so maybe I want you to just consider trying
to just edge towards that scary thing. It doesn't have to be something big. It can be
something maybe a little bit, and again, what's big for some person might be small for someone
else. And where your comfort zone is with your ex might be different from where someone
else's comfort zone with their ex might be. But for some people, that might involve kissing
or maybe holding hands. Or it might involve saying, "I love you." Or it might involve
something else entirely. But what I want you to do is I want you to just kind of slowly
expand that comfort zone just to make sure that there isn't any additional resistance
there. And if there isn't any resistance and you just seem to be getting these sort of
clear blue skies, then I'd say it's time to have the talk. I'd say it's time to have the
talk. And basically, this is how it goes. Have a normal conversation, get down into
rapport, pull into the emotional level, do a few reward relate cycles.
And then what you do is you just say, "Hey, we've been talking like this. I want you to
know I've really enjoyed connecting with you recently over these past however long it's
been. Is that something you've enjoyed too?" And then they're most likely going to say
yes because you're at the emotional level, you're in rapport, all that stuff. And then
you just say, "Well, I'll admit sometimes I've thought about us getting back together.
Is that something that you've ever thought about?" And if they're being honest and if
they are in that level of rapport and if you genuinely are at new beginnings, they're probably
going to say, "Yeah, that is something I've thought about." Again, don't do this unless
you're reasonably certain you're at new beginnings. And then you just say, "What do you think
about that idea?" And then suddenly the two of you are talking about it.
Now, of course, this is the opportunity for the two of you to actually start to unpack
any hesitations or concerns that you might have like, "Well, I don't know. How are we
going to keep it from getting the way that it was before? How are we going to make sure
that we stay connected through all of this? How are we going to make sure that we don't
end up getting so caught up in work or stressed out or we lose that connection or whatever
the case may be?" And go ahead and work together as a team to make something work for the two
of you. And that's how you have the conversation about actually being in a relationship again.
And at that point, you are in a relationship. At that point, the two of you are in a relationship.
Actually make sure that you actually have this talk about like, "Okay, so we are in
a relationship." Don't just assume that you're in a relationship, actually have the talk
about being in a relationship so there's no ambiguity, so there's no surprises down the
road because maybe they think that the two of you aren't in a relationship yet. But make
sure that you actually have that explicit agreement. And then the two of you are just
in relationship. And congratulations, you have actually gotten back together with your
ex. Again, I know it's been a challenging, difficult,
emotionally draining experience sometimes. There have been highs, there've been lows,
there have been everything in between. But you did it. You did it. And I want to hear
about it. I want you to send a message to us at hello@modernlove.life. That's our email
address. And just let us know about it. Whether you're in one of our programs or not, I want
to know. We always like to share it kind of on our little team thing where we communicate
with one another. We like to share testimonials that people have when they actually do get
back together with their ex. And it's like, "Yeah, this feels good." It's optimism. It
helps us to know that there's some meaning and some positive benefit to the world in
what we do. So anyway, that has been our series on the
five stages of getting back together with your ex. If you would like to get more of
a roadmap for how to guide your ex through all of this, then we do have that course called
The Ex Solution Program. Once again, you can find it down in the description box below
this video. And once again, if you have liked this series or even just this video, please
help share it to other people by hitting that thumbs up button. It really does help us out.
And please feel free to subscribe to this channel as well, too, so that you can get
notified when we do post more videos. Thank you so much for watching. If you want to review
any of this stuff on the five stages, we have this video series over here. Or you might
want to check out this video right here. Thank you so much. Please take care. And I hope
that you do get to new beginnings.