- Ladies and gentlemen,
it is the most patriotic week
of the year
for North America.
I failed to mention it before, but Sunday was Canada Day,
so happy Canada Day to my Canadian viewers.
What's your favorite Canada Day tradition?
I think mine
is the moose rides.
This is random,
but I happen to have a Canadian $5 bill in front of me.
If you've never handled Canadian money, it is weird.
This is bizarre.
It's like plastic.
You can see through it.
There's astronauts on it.
I didn't even know Canada went to space.
I didn't even know Canada knew
that there was a space to go into.
Okay, that, I don't know what that joke was about.
It was being needlessly hurtful.
Frank, can I unsubscribe because of it?
This feels less like money,
and more like a drink ticket
that you would get at a fancy gala event,
like, "Oh yeah, here's my ticket for five drinks.
"I'll take them all now, thank you,"
and then, of course, Wednesday, tomorrow,
is the Fourth of July here in the United States,
where we celebrate
being independent from Great Britain,
and of course we fought a war to do it,
and Canada just kind of said,
"Yeah, I think we'll be independent now,"
and Great Britain was like, "Okay."
In my limited view of history, that's how it went.
I'm very pro-America, okay, very pro-America.
I'm actually gonna shoot a gun off right through my window,
all right, after this filming is done.
That's how American I am,
but when you think about it,
it's like, were they jumping to conclusions
when they decided to fight the Revolutionary War?
Were they like, "Aw, dawg, they through our tea overboard."
No, we did that.
Oh my gosh.
I am such an idiot.
They are taxing the heck out of our tea.
I'm not standing for this.
We've got the Stamp Act,
where we're supposed to pay for stamps now?
What else?
What else is gonna happen?
Gosh darn it, I'm gonna fight these monkey fudgers
and get them out of here with their red coats.
So they fought, and now here we are.
Here we are, better than ever.
You know, the thing I like about Canada,
or at least stereotypically,
is that they say Canadians are very polite,
and I'm very polite,
and I tend to think that,
as much as I love the United States, my homeland,
Americans are pretty rude.
They're pretty loud, and rude, and obnoxious,
and not the easiest people to get along with,
especially on the East Coast where I live.
Like in the Midwest they might be a little more tolerable.
On the West Coast they're more laid-back,
but where I live, on the East Coast of the United States,
people are uptight, and rude, and very loud,
so I wonder, in Canada, are people really more polite?
I think there's gotta be a personality test
which shows you where,
like what country would be best suited
to your personality,
a soft, sensitive person like me, emphasis on soft.
Let's Bing it, guys.
Who uses Bing, man?
What country is my personality?
Oh, 16Personalities has one.
Let's see what that's all about.
Regional maps, let's look at United States.
Okay, so they have the top extraverted states
and top introverted states.
Interesting.
Clearly New York and California
are gonna be the top extraverted states
'cause those people are frickin' weird.
Top introverted, West Virginia.
Vermont, I've been there a few times.
Vermont's fairly introverted, New Mexico.
Let's take a look.
Intuitive versus observant, I guess that's N versus S.
Vermont is the most intuitive state.
Maybe I should move to Vermont.
Vermont just announced this thing
where they'll give you $10,000 to move there.
That's tempting.
West Virginia is an intuitive state.
Maybe I should move to West Virginia.
Top observant states.
North Dakota, huh.
Kansas, who would have known?
All right, thinking versus feeling.
Top thinking states.
Nevada, 'cause you've gotta think as you're gambling.
Florida, 'cause all the old people are there thinking.
And then top feeling states.
Oh, Utah, look at that.
That's pretty big, 60%.
Is that all the Mormons out there?
They're very feely.
Vermont again.
That $10,000 is calling my name.
That's interesting.
Do they have it for countries, too?
Let's look at Europe.
Top introverted, Lithuania.
Faroe Islands, I don't even know what that is.
So it seems like the Balkan area is very extraverted
for some reason.
Introverted countries, Lithuania.
It seems like the Baltic ones,
Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia,
those are very introverted.
Interesting.
I'm seeing some regional patterns,
some patterns, if you will.
We'll just look at one more.
Intuitive countries, Bosnia, Montenegro, Serbia.
So interesting,
we're seeing some more intuitive people around here,
as well, and Croatia, too,
so yeah, the Balkans are, once again,
the Balkans are like extraverted intuitives.
Top observant countries.
This has gotta be the most boring thing you've ever watched.
Watch F.J. look at maps.
It's fun guys, I promise.
Top observers, United Kingdom, okay,
Sweden, and France is an observant country.
Interesting.
You know, Australia, you're getting short shrift
because, like honestly,
this part of the map has like four countries on it.
Let's go to Personality Atlas,
and let's do a quiz,
and let's see what country I should move to
when America changes its money to be plastic
like Canada's.
All right, so here we're gonna answer these questions.
You put your family first.
I'm kind of family-oriented.
People might think someone is a snob
if they saw them with you.
Wait, do the, oh, they change.
It changes, cool.
Let's just put it there
'cause I don't know what people think of me.
You are someone who always does what they say they will.
Not really, well, maybe not that badly.
Okay, let me give myself some benefit of the doubt.
You tend to keep to yourself.
You are someone
who takes other people's opinion into account
when making a decision.
Yeah, this is a clever,
cleverly designed website.
You would do well in a trivia contest.
I would, I'd make a lot of money
like that crazy-looking guy there.
You are someone others would always have a good time with.
Let met just make myself feel good about myself
and answer that way.
This is a poorly worded sentence:
You are someone others would always have a good time with,
with the ending with the preposition.
It should be
you are someone with whom other have a good time.
You always have interesting ideas.
Yeah, I do.
I have such interesting ideas.
I am an idea machine.
You tend to be set in your ways.
Well, it depends.
Sometimes I am.
It depends.
I'm just gonna say, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.
I'll say a little bit.
You would jump out of a boat to save someone
if they were drowning in shark-infested waters.
I would definitely try to help them.
Pains me to say, how long is this quiz?
You would give up your seat for an elderly person.
Yeah, I would.
He looks mad.
Look at this guy.
He's like, "You B-word."
In conversation, others often have interesting things,
more interesting (mumbles).
Um, not really: I'm the best.
You walk to the beat of your own drum.
Uh, to a degree.
You have a well-organized closet.
Not really.
Do you have a good sense of humor?
Oh yes, ha ha ha ha, I'm at the comedy club
with my blond hair and my blue jacket.
You always say please and thank you.
Let's see what country am I?
Colombia, in Funlandia.
People in Colombia describe themselves
primarily as humorous and fun,
but also content, polite, and welcoming.
You share a similar profile.
Below you can see where else you do or don't fit,
as well as where your friends fit.
Oh, well they put the map together in a weird way
so Australia's on top of Canada.
Germany, Finland, this is confusing.
Uh, where you don't fit.
I don't fit in Russia, in Mother Russia.
I don't fit in Germany.
I don't fit in Singapore.
Well, it's a good thing I didn't wanna live there anyway.
Where else you fit, Argentina, UK, Mexico.
Oh, okay, so they have these things
kind of divided up into different regions
based on what they're good at.
I understand.
So guys, looks like I'm moving to Colombia.
It was good living in the United States while I was here.
I hope they have Internet in Colombia,
and that they have Starbucks.
(old-timey piano music)
Uh, thanks so much. (laughs)
So thanks so much for watching.
I really appreciate it.
Go ahead and take that Personality Atlas test
and tell me what country you get.
Let me see where we should be living,
where on Earth we should be living.
I was hoping that it would sort of just say,
"You shouldn't, you don't belong on Earth.
"You are too special.
"You need to wait until they build a colony on Titan."
Thank you all so much for watching.
Please give it a like if you liked it.
Subscribe if you haven't already.
Till next time, stay cool and attractive,
have a happy Fourth and all that,
and I'm not good at ending videos.
(throbbing electronic music)