Five things that make a man respect you as a high value woman.
That's what I'm going to be sharing with you in this video.
When it comes to adulting, all of us start out as rank amateurs.
It's not like there's a guidebook.
I've learned this from coaching when we turn 18 or 21 if you live in the States, we get
given some of what our parents know, we ignore most of it and then with the few pages we've
got, we wonder why our lives and dating doesn't go so well.
In this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you what I've learned from coaching five really
powerful concepts that that really round you out as an individual that once applied make
you incredibly attractive to a healthy man.
See you just, after this.
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Here are five balances we all need to apply on the road to learning to adult.
Attractive adulting scale number one, balancing other problems and your problems.
One of the things that we grew up with as a kid is everything is our problem, right?
As a kid, you can't get away from situations.
You can't put boundaries in place.
All you can do is take everything personally, assume it's something to do with you, and
then change yourself to try and get more love.
As a kid, that's very effective.
And as an adult, it is a disaster.
Far too many women come to me uncertain with what they've done wrong, feeling unstable,
unsteady, and in fact, it's because they're taking stuff too personally, or too many problems
they're thinking out to do with them on nothing to do with them.
It's others' problems.
That said, there's also people who fall under the opposite end of the spectrum and make
everything everyone else's problems.
In fact, the fears of many of my clients is being that overly narcissistic person or
being that person who doesn't take feedback so they take too much personally.
One of the arts of life in being an attractive adult is to navigate that difference.
And it's something we all are doing every day.
It's not a finished destination, but finding that balance to critically ask yourself when
something goes wrong, is this my problem?
Do I need to change something or is this another's problem, and I need to change nothing?
Getting that answer right I've learned is one of the secrets to successfully adulting
and being incredibly happy while growing in your life.
Number two skill of adulting is the balance between self confidence and self doubt.
I've learned over and over again that dancing, that fine line between when to be confident
and believe in yourself and when to doubt yourself is one of the real skills that comes
with being your most attractive self.
You might be thinking, well, isn't it always good to be self confident?
That I always want to be self confident and never doubt myself?
Well, you'd think that until you meet the current sitting US president.
Overconfidence is absolutely a thing and self doubt is very important.
In fact, if you hadn't had self-doubt, you wouldn't have YouTubed or Googled this video
and you wouldn't be watching it now because you doubt that you know everything, so you
realize you can learn more.
I have to doubt myself all the time to realize that I can be open to learning more and growing
more too.
But there's a fine line between using self-doubt too much and falling into brash overconfidence.
Part of adulting is todance that line and like a plane moving towards a destination,
you kind of have to keep correcting as you go.
When do I need to doubt myself and learn more and when do I need to be more confident and
put any of my doubts aside?
There's no perfect answer, but learning to adult, this is one of the key skills in doing so.
Number three, skill of adulting is the balance between selflessness and selfishness.
Isn't it always bad to be selfish?
Isn't that a really toxic thing?
No.
Selfishness is really important.
Animals are selfish.
We see it in nature all the time.
Our ancestors had to be selfish to survive and produce us.
Selfishness is a survival mechanism.
We have to be selfish and we have to own that, but too much selfishness, as I'm sure you
know, can cause all sorts of problems.
However, too much selflessness can equally cause problems too.
How many clients, well, how many clients do I have or women that you know that are too
selfless, they're too giving, they're miserable, and they cost themselves happiness because
they're always trying to serve others at their own exhaustion.
Dancing.
Finding that line between selflessness and selfishness is absolutely one of the skills
of the high value woman, and the more you get this right, the better you are at this,
the more happy and attractive you become to a great man too.
Number four, the balance between saying, "Yes" and saying, "No."
We've all seen the movie, Yes Man, where he gets into all sorts of adventures, excitement,
growth, new experiences, because he says yes to everything.
Yes opens doors, yes is new opportunities.
Yes leads to growth.
Yes leads to amazing things in your life.
It also ways to complete boundary collapse and miserableness if you use it too much.
For someone who says yes too much, they need to learn to say no, to put up boundaries,
to have strength, to push back.
For someone who says no too much, they need to learn to say yes so that they can have
growth, adventure and experiences.
The balance between when to say, "Yes" and when to say, "No" I think is one of the arts
of adulting and when you are really at your best, happy and attractive, you'll be confident
in your balance for when to say yes when you need to say no.
And number five, bringing it back to the relationships sphere is the balance between masculine and
feminine.
Many women come to me thinking, I just want to be feminine.
I want to be all feminine.
Without realizing that to be feminine, you actually need to have a healthy masculine
too.
A lot of us are running and pushing down the other side of our energy and I know for me,
I became much more masculine and much more comfortable in that when I acknowledged and
realized that I had a feminine side too.
If we don't realize this, we rely on the other gender for it and become dependent or codependent
on those attributes in the other person.
Finding that balance between your feminine and your empowered masculine is a huge life
skill, a huge art of life, and it's something Helena and I talk about in our free guide,
Seven Secrets to Being A Woman He Can't Resist.
So make sure you get that guide as well.
That is free in the description below and we even have a free webclass on it too.
That balance between masculine-feminine is key, and a man does not want a woman who's
100% feminine or he's going to become dependent on that. A healthy guy wants a woman who also
has like him, the healthy masculine.
And those are five balances of life and the more right you get these, the more healthy
and balanced and confident you're going to feel within yourself and the more attractive
you're going to be to a healthy, balanced and confident man.
When you know how to separate others' problems from your problems and tread that fine line,
when you know when to doubt yourself and when to just enter your own confidence and put
the doubt aside, when you know when to be selfish, when to be selfless, when to say
yes, when to say no, and when to use your empowered masculine versus when to be in your
empowered feminine, these are going to be really healthy, incredible traits that are
going to make you frigging attractive to the right guy.
So this is something I've learned from coaching, and I hope you can apply too.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
I'd love to hear them.
I've got another video on confidence and being your best, most confident self.
I'll pop the link right here as well.
Don't forget to get your free guide from me and Helena too.
On getting that masculine-feminine balance correct.
Hit the subscribe button with the little bell and I will see you in the next video real
soon.