-You guys, former President Donald Trump's
second impeachment trial began today.
The House impeachment managers
laid out powerful evidence of his guilt,
while most Republican senators signaled
that they have no interest in holding him accountable.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
The nation is currently facing a series of calamities
unprecedented in our lifetime.
It's so bad that Jake Tapper's brow furrows
have started encroaching on the rest of his face.
He's starting to look like a Shar Pei with gravitas.
And, in the short term, things are only getting worse.
Millions are unemployed and the economy is still stalling,
the vaccine rollout is still chaotic,
even as more contagious COVID strains are spreading,
not to mention rising poverty and child hunger,
while millions face the threat of eviction
or losing their health insurance.
Oh, and also, the former president
is facing a second impeachment trial
for inciting a violent insurrection
that ransacked the Capitol
and sought to overthrow democracy.
And I know I'm starting to sound
like an African grey parrot who was left alone
with a collection of Morrissey records,
but this is where we are.
[ Squawk ]
If you're a person with any sort of platform right now,
you could spend any amount of time you want
covering any of those topics.
Or, if you're Fox News,
you could spend precious minutes, in prime time,
covering whatever the [bleep] this is.
-Jonathan Kay is a senior editor
at the online magazine Quillette.
He did a throwaway tweet,
revealing that, for the last three months,
he'd accidentally been washing his hair
with his dog's shampoo.
And, next thing you know,
big-time Hollywood star Seth Rogen
and small-time lefty hack Keith Olbermann
and the rest of the Blue Checkers
were pounding on him.
-Yes, that's what Fox News
was talking about last night -- dog shampoo.
You know, the stuff Ted Cruz uses to wash his beard.
[ As Cruz ] I also use Frontline.
Got to keep those ticks away.
I have no idea what this is about and I have
no interest in learning. All I know is,
the smaller the story Fox News is focusing on,
the bigger the story they're ignoring is.
If you ever tune in to "Fox & Friends"
and they're talking about, I don't know,
whether vanilla ice cream
is going to be canceled for being too white,
just know the story on CNN is probably...
But that's what the GOP is all about now --
inane culture war bull[bleep]
There's not time for insurrections or COVID
when a poor man catches flak for complaining
the font that said "for Pets" was too small to read,
while ignoring that there was
a picture of a dog on the bottle.
I lied. I did know what the story was about. What can I say?
I follow big-time Hollywood star Seth Rogen on Twitter.
And if you're wondering what incredibly cruel thing
he said when he saw the "I've been using dog shampoo" tweet,
a tweet so cruel that Fox News did a segment on it,
it was this...
[ Laughter ]
I get it. You see a tweet like that,
the next thing you know, you're stress-eating
a box of human snacks. [ Laughter ]
This isn't a political movement with policy ideas.
It's about culture.
They want you to think antifa's
coming to your house with migrant caravans
to take away your guns and your dog
and your human shampoo with the picture of a dog on it.
In fact, that's barely an exaggeration.
That's their actual argument now --
the Democrats are just as responsible
for inciting violence as Trump is
because Democrats want immigration reform.
-Democrats are arguing that Trump welcomed and incited
a violent incursion into the Capitol.
When it is they
who are enticing illegals
to bust through our borders,
exploit our resources,
and commit crimes.
-Exploit our resources?
Do you think immigrants are coming to America
to open a copper mine?
You sound like a desert warlord
from the "Mad Max" Cinematic Universe.
Who is your guest for this segment...
Did you guys know his name was the Doof Warrior?
Yeah, I mean, I know a lot of you did,
but I bet the rest of you just thought his name
was something like Flame-Throwing Guitar Guy.
That's how kickass "Mad Max" was, as a movie.
They give him the dorkiest name they could come up with
and the movie still rocks.
It's like, instead of Bane, Tom Hardy's Batman villain
had been called Dr. CPAP or...
[ As Bane ] Bad news, Batman.
[ Laughter ]
Schmagillicutty.
[ Laughter ]
Also, you used "busting through our borders" already.
You got Donald Trump elected on those fish tales
and I thought we made it very clear
that GOP platforms are like stand-up comedy jokes --
once you use one on TV, you can never use it again.
It's why prayer in schools, explicit rap lyrics,
and Murphy Brown's pregnancies
were used in one election cycle and then never again.
You have four years to come up with a new way
to terrify the people of Florida.
Maybe claim the DNC is trying to ban fan boats
and jean shorts that go to the ankle.
What's that?
The GOP's already doing that and it will work
and Lou Dobbs will suddenly be our next president?
[ Laughing ] Okay, man.
Politics, you share are goofy.
But, really, the truly galling part is the idea
that Democrats are somehow enticing migrants to come here
and "commit crimes" when Trump is under investigation
for, last I checked, I don't know,
30 different crimes?
In fact, he's already confessed to illegally using his charity
as a personal checkbook and he was
an unindicted co-conspirator in the Michael Cohen case,
you know, the one where he secretly paid hush money
during a presidential campaign
to cover up an affair with a porn star.
Remember that episode? That was way back in Season 1,
when Trump still had Marcel.
The Manhattan D.A. and New York attorney general
are both investigating Trump and his businesses,
the D.A. in Fulton County
has been looking into whether to open an investigation,
and, yesterday, the Georgia secretary of state's office
said it opened an official inquiry
into Trump's unhinged phone call,
attempting to bully Georgia election officials
into throwing out legal ballots and overturning the results.
And I'm no lawyer, but it almost certainly seems like a crime.
One former federal prosecutor told CNN it's...
And even that is a generous interpretation.
Trump doesn't talk in code.
He's like that idiot who calls a weed dealer and uses code
and then, uses the real word, to make sure the code was right.
"Hey, Scott, what's up?
You got any, uh, tickets
for the, uh, reggae concert?
That's weed, right? Because like the reggae guys like weed.
Hello? Hello?" [ Laughter ]
In response, Trump spokesman Jason Miller,
the guy who looks like he swapped heads
with a Pez dispenser,
said it was actually the fault of Brad Raffensperger,
the Georgia secretary of state,
for taking the call, in the first place.
Man, where does Trump find these fine purveyors of pretzel logic?
"Look, Your Honor, if you don't want my client stabbing people,
then Cuisinart shouldn't sell knives.
Oh, oh, my bad.
Wrong case.
Uh, any chance Cuisinart sells guns?
Oh, I think you're --
I think you're probably going to jail.
[ Laughter ] It's not terrible.
They have libraries."
This guy is under investigation for actual crimes,
let alone the impeachable offense
of inciting an insurrection against the U.S. Capitol.
The least we can do is bar him from ever holding office again.
Instead, Republicans and their allies in right-wing media
are engaged in a ridiculous attempt
to equate Democrats encouraging peaceful protests
with Trump spending several months
feeding his unhinged base lies about the election
and fantasies of violent retribution.
-I want to interview Chuck. -[ Laughing ]
I want to interview Joe Biden.
I want to interview Kamala.
I want to interview Pelosi.
I want to interview Maxine Waters.
I want to interview Cory Booker, Eric Holder.
I got a whole list.
Would you consider looking at my list?
-[ Laughs ]
Yeah, I'll be glad to look at it.
If the House managers want to call one witness,
the defense is going to call all the people you name,
and then some.
The impeachment in the House
took place without a hearing,
without one witness being called,
and without a lawyer
for the president of the United States.
You can't get a traffic ticket, based on the procedures
they used to impeach President Trump.
-Okay, first of all, have you ever gotten a traffic ticket?
You can get one for anything.
One time, I got in my car
and found a $20 ticket on the windshield
for something called...
In New York, we have something called alternate side parking,
which basically means you get a traffic ticket,
unless you can solve a riddle.
Also, Sean, congrats on your list.
You sound like a toddler talking to a mall Santa.
[ As Hannity ] We look at my list, please?
I want a Tonka truck and a Nerf gun
and a regular-shaped head.
[ Gravelly voice ] Listen, kid, I'm not really Santa,
but I can tell you,
you're probably stuck with that head, bub.
Now, most people aren't buying these asinine arguments.
A majority of Americans -- 56% in a recent ABC News poll --
want Trump convicted and barred from ever holding office again,
so cowardly Republicans are hiding behind a new argument --
impeaching a former president is somehow unconstitutional.
-I want to read this very revealing quote
from Senator James Lankford. He says..
-Oh, you're locked down?
You're supposed to be the jury!
Once again, these guys think the standards that apply
to everyone else somehow doesn't apply to them.
I mean, none of us could get away with just announcing
how we feel about a case before the trial starts.
I tried that one time when I got called to jury duty.
"I'm sorry, Your Honor, but,
I feel strongly that, if you burn yourself
with hot McDonald's coffee, you deserve it.
I will never turn on Ronald!"
The judge found me in contempt
and sentenced me to three months' house arrest
with a painting of a sea captain.
That was on network television.
[ Laughter ]
Second, the idea that impeaching a former president
is unconstitutional is ridiculous.
It doesn't say that anywhere in the Constitution.
If you manage to flee the scene of a crime
before the cops can catch you,
you don't get to automatically go free.
If that was the case, Trump would've finished his speech
and then immediately jumped in a white Ford Bronco.
And then, today, one of the House impeachment managers,
Congressman Jamie Raskin,
made a powerful and deeply emotional case
and he argued in a convincing and clear-cut way
that this impeachment was, in fact, constitutional,
using both historical evidence and also common sense.
-Their argument is that, if you commit an impeachable offense
in your last few weeks in office,
you do it with constitutional impunity.
You get away with it.
In other words, conduct that would be
a high crime and misdemeanor in your first year as president
and your second year as president
and your third year as president
and for the vast majority
of your fourth year as president,
you can suddenly do
in your last few weeks in office without facing
any constitutional accountability at all.
This would create a brand-new January exception
to the Constitution of the United States of America.
-Yeah, the founders didn't intend to write in an exemption
where you can commit whatever crimes you want
in your last month in office.
It's called the transition, not the Purge.
This isn't the last week of middle school,
where every teacher shows a movie
while they Google "vacation Caribbean cheap"
and the French teacher tells you all the good swears.
I don't remember George Washington
spending his last month in office
walking around D.C. with an ax,
chopping down every damn cherry tree he could find.
"It's pie night, bitches!"
The House impeachment managers also laid out
the timeline of events on January 6th
and Trump's involvement in those events
with truly shocking video evidence
that, I have to say, was compelling,
just to see it all laid out again,
because our memories are so short now.
I mean, I don't even remember who won the Super Bowl.
Tim Brody?
Was there a guy named Brunk?
Like there was a Grunk, or maybe it was a tree
[ Laughter ] who only said, "Grunk"?
It was a violent insurrection
that injured 140 police officers
and tried to overthrow democracy.
Congress was there and the rest of us saw it on TV.
The facts are clear as day, as Raskin explained.
-Our case is based
on cold, hard facts.
-That's right, the impeachment case is built on facts,
and the defense's case is built on wishes and dreams
and Sean Hannity's fantasy list of witnesses,
which I'm betting includes some fictional characters, too.
[ As Hannity ] I want to call Chuck Schumer,
Nancy Pelosi, Cory Booker,
Wanda Maximoff, the Mandalorian,
and the Doof Warrior. I want to know what he doofed
and when he doofed it.
We all saw what happened.
It's plain to anyone who cares to see it.
The president's supporters stormed the Capitol
after he spent months feeding them unhinged lies
about the election being stolen from them,
culminating in a speech in which he directed them
to fight and show strength by marching down to the Capitol
and interfering in the lawful counting of electoral votes,
all while he watched and cheered them on.
At this point, we have to conclude simply that,
if Republicans won't hold Trump accountable for doing that,
then they support it and,
if given the chance, they'll do it again.
Impeachment should be the bare minimum
for inciting a violent sedition.
If you ask me, Trump should be...
-Washing his hair with his dog's shampoo.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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