There are so many videos out there teaching men how to approach women and I have done
videos on that before over at The Attractive Man, but in this video I actually want to
show you ladies how to approach a guy, and do it with confidence so it can actually lead
to asking him out.
Hey everyone, I'm Renee Slansky.
Welcome back to my YouTube channel.
Now in this video I'm kind of excited and I don't know why I didn't do it earlier on,
but I want to actually give you girls the step by step process to approaching a guy
with confidence and being able to then go and ask him out.
But before I do that, make sure you click the subscribe button and drop down a big,
thanks Renee, in the comments below if this video is going to help you.
Number one, the first thing you need to do when you want to approach a guy that you're
attracted to, and I'm talking about real life here, is you need to assess the environment.
It is one thing to just see a hot guy and think, "Oh, I want to go up and talk to him,"
but we can't just instantly act on it.
We need to be a little bit more strategic about it.
So, assessing the environment might be, is he by himself or does he have a girlfriend
that's doing some shopping and he's just basically waiting outside for her to finish.
Is he wearing a wedding ring?
And don't forget that different cultures wear wedding rings on different fingers.
Is he looking like he even wants to be approached or is he stressed out?
Is he angry?
Is he, basically got that look on his face where you're like, "No, it's probably not
a good time.
Number two, you want to try and make eye contact first and smile at him if possible before
you actually go up to him.
So, the way that we do that is we stare at him until we can catch his eye, and then we
catch his eyes and we hold it for three seconds, three seconds only, and then we look away.
What this does is it really captures his attention because we've made that eye contact, but we
haven't held it for a period where it was too long, where he is kind of like, "Okay,
this is weird," or too short where he thinks, "Oh, that was a mistake."
Three seconds is the right amount of time and if you can smile at the same time, once
again it is showing that you are flirting with him, and it shows that you've noticed
that you've caught his attention and you're actually happy about it.
So you're starting to set the tone between you both.
Number three, choose a topic to focus on when you're actually going to go up and talk to
him.
Because what we can do is we can go, "Okay, I've made the eye contact.
I've noticed I can go, and walk up to him," and we go up and we're like... or a cat got
your tongue sort of thing.
And we become really nervous, and then we just make a fool of ourselves or we just freak
out and we're like... and then we walk away.
We don't want to do that.
So, have something in your head that you can go, this is kind of going to be my opening
line.
Now stay away from any sort of cheesy openers.
Try instead of focusing on something that is relevant to you both or relevant to the
environment that you're in.
For example, if you see a guy at a bar and you're about to walk up to him, which I'll
tell you how to do in a second, you might notice that he is ordering a specific drink
or you might notice that the bartender behind the bar is doing crazy sort of things.
That could be your opening line.
You might want to say, "Oh, I think that, that bartender, if he does any more tricks,
they might going to start charging us just to come and be able to get a drink at the
bar."
Or if you notice that he is at a coffee store, and he's ordering a certain sort of coffee,
you might want to say, "Careful, you better enjoy that coffee because apparently in 10
years time, the world is going to run out of coffee."
It doesn't have to be overly sophisticated or crazy.
If you can make it a little bit fun, a little bit sort of cheeky, then you're going to capture
his attention and you're going to probably get a laugh out of him, and that should really
be your aim in the first couple of minutes of actually talking to a guy is actually getting
a smile and a laugh out of him.
So he thinks, "Hey, this girl is actually really fun to be around.
I want to talk to her some more."
The fourth thing to do is not to focus on the outcome.
We can get really nervous with approaching a guy that we're attracted to because we're
worried that we're going to get rejected.
So, what you want to do is you want to make sure that the focus is on just purely having
a conversation.
That's it.
Not having a conversation and leading to him asking me out or me asking him out.
That's where we start to put too much pressure on ourselves.
All you need to do is focus on, I'm going to walk up to him.
I'm going to have a conversation and if I have done that, then I have won.
Number five, when you actually want to walk up to him, make sure you walk up near him,
not necessarily directly to him.
Now the reason why we do this is we want to come across confident, yes, but we don't necessarily
want to come across aggressive or desperate.
So if you can just walk up near him seeing him at the coffee place, and you walk up next
to him at the counter or you see him sitting at a table and you go and sit in near him
at a table that's really closer by enough for you to be able to make eye contact with
him and be able to have a conversation.
Essentially you want to minimize that gap of you guys being apart, but not necessarily
feel that you have to signal to him that you're walking there just to be next to him.
Number six, after you have walked up or sat near him, you want to again go back to making
eye contact and smiling, and then at number seven, use your opening line.
Why I got you to premeditate it beforehand.
Now your opening line might be something simple, if you see him reading a book saying, "Oh,
I've heard that, that book's really good.
Would you recommend it?"
Asking a question is a really great way to continue a conversation, and asking a question
without directly asking them out means that you can come across as just kind of casual
and are confident at the same time, but you're not necessarily going straight in for the
kill.
Number eight, make sure that your body language is open.
One of the things that we subconsciously do and show our energy and interest towards somebody
is through the way that we hold our body.
So, don't stand there and talk to him completely crossed over or having your body faced away
from him.
And lastly, number nine, keep things warm and continue to make eye contact.
What you want to do now that you've started this conversation with him is you want to
continue to ask questions, but you want to make sure that this conversation is friendly,
that it is full of warmth.
By keeping eye contact with him when he actually talks to you it also communicates that you're
interested and confident.
All right girls, hope that that helped you.
Let me know if you put it into practice, and it works for you.
And I just want to say this, is that if you struggle with approaching men because you
don't have that confidence, then all it really takes is a little bit of practice.
Maybe try approaching a couple of strangers first where you don't have any attraction
to so that you can overcome that fear, and train yourself to be able to smile, eye contact,
assess the environment, and have an opener line.
If you really, really want more tips on this then I would love to have you in my private
Facebook group called Worth The Wait, and in it I do live Q&As where I answer your dating
and relationship questions every single week, and I'm always throwing free teachings and
coachings in there as well.
It is completely free.
I would love for you to be in it, and I've popped the link in the bio down below so you
can click it, join it, and I'll add you.
All right girls, hope that you have an amazing rest of the week, and know that you are all
worthy, beautiful and lovable.
Don't forget to drop a thanks Renee if this helps, subscribe to my channel, and I will
see you next time.
Bye for now.