Pat Mitchell: Welcome, Megan.
Megan McArthur: Hello, Pat, thank you for having me.
PM: Let's go with the question that I think is probably coming up
for many of us.
This is unusual.
Husband and wife,
met during your training,
and in the year that you got married,
you both flew into space, separately.
You, on the Hubble Telescope mission
and Bob on the mission to construct the space station.
And ironically, if your mission had gone awry or needed help,
Bob was assigned to be on the rescue craft.
You know, launch day is for all of us a time of great excitement, yes.
But also anxieties about the risk and the fear we might feel inside
just watching.
How do you prepare for launch day?
MMA: Well, Pat, one of the most important things to focus on for me
was really preparing my son and making sure that he was ready
and that he enjoyed the experience of watching his father launch
and complete this mission that he'd been training for,
really for most of our son's life.
So when we walked out onto the roof of the launch control center
and we could see the rocket off in the distance
and were lining up against the rail,
ready for the countdown,
and of course, I got my arms around him
and we hear, "Three, two, one, liftoff."
And then we see the rocket carrying his father
you know, jumping off the launch pad.
And for me,
it was this moment of just an outpouring of feeling and emotion
that had been with me for such a long time.
And I'm crying and I'm laughing and I'm just shaking.
And so I had to let go of my son, who was fine, by the way,
he was completely fine.
And I’m covering up my mouth
because I don't know what kind of sounds I'm going to make
with this complete terror and this complete joy
at this moment.
And thinking about what it took to get there.
My husband, you know, an accomplished astronaut,
an experienced Air Force flight test engineer,
he had formerly been the chief astronaut.
And I've watched him launch into space twice before.
And it's been terrifying every time.
Why is that?
You know, of course, I love my husband, but it's more than that.
It's that I love my husband,
and right now I can't do anything at all to impact the situation.
I'm standing on a rooftop.
I have no job.
I have no way to contribute.
And so that's where for me the fear comes from
is that feeling of helplessness.
And so, over and over in my life, I've seen, of course,
that training and preparation can get us ready for an event like that,
but it's having the input,
having the ability to impact your situation
that is what removes the fear and balances it for you.
So the education, the experience, you have to have that,
but also having a voice, having an input,
having a seat in the cockpit
is what allows you to leave that fear behind.
PM: But what about your son, Megan?
He won't be there.
He'll be on the ground watching mommy take off into space
just as he watched his dad who returned safely.
But have you taken special preparations for him to see mommy doing the same?
MMA: Well, his first reaction
when learning that mommy was going to go into space
first, he told me, "No, mommy, you can't go."
That was his very first response.
And then as he got more comfortable with the idea,
you know, his dad went up and came back
and then he said, "Well, OK, you can go for 30 days,
but 180 days, that's too much.
You can’t, you can’t go for that long.”
He's also obviously seen his father go through all of this.
And so for him, it's become this normal thing.
This is a normal thing that mommy and daddy do.
We'll read stories back and forth while I'm here in Russia
over video conference.
And I was given the idea to fill a jar with chocolate kisses
and then he can have a kiss from mommy every day that I'm gone.
So he likes that idea very much.
PM: Well, just to be clear,
it's a great message that this young man is getting
about mommy and daddy doing the same job, isn't it?
And I just want to bring forward a quote
from the SpaceX leader Gwynne Shotwell,
who was asked about your going, and your husband's going,
and she was questioned about your flying
in the same pilot seat or spacecraft as your husband.
And here was part of her answer:
"I'd like to point out that, you know,
Megan is first and foremost
an astronaut when it comes to our perspective."
MMA: Well, I did want to reach through the screen
and high-five Ms. Shotwell when she said that,
I very much appreciated that remark.
You know, it has changed for me over the years,
the first time I flew in space
I was married, but I was not yet a parent.
And both my husband and I came to NASA as single people
and we met and married, of course, at NASA.
It's a different thing to take on as a family
that you're doing this thing that's for yourself.
It's also kind of for the greater good.
The notion of exploration and discovery is something to engage in.
And I think that that example,
you know, for my son to see
that his parents are engaged in this thing,
that, yes, it takes us away from him,
but these are important things to do.
PM: And you were in high school, Megan,
when the Challenger spacecraft tragically exploded
and the whole world confronted the realities of the risk
that you and your husband
and other brave women and men are taking.
I remember that moment
and I still hold my breath every time during each and every launch.
So how do you find the balance between knowing the risks are real
and you're feeling prepared enough to do what you have to do
and what you want to accomplish?
MMA: Well, the crux of it for us for feeling prepared and participating
is really training.
So we train our way into that seat.
You spend literally hundreds of hours preparing in every possible way.
We break down every system into bite-sized pieces, basically.
We have these wonderful instructors
who are professional instructors, basically,
and they know exactly what it's going to take for us
to learn these systems inside and out.
And so, sort of, one system at a time,
and then they put all the systems together
and then they break every possible thing that they can think of to break
so that you have to, as a team, as a crew,
solve these problems and work together to get through the situation.
And the reason that they do that
is not because they think those exact things are going to happen.
It's to build you up.
You prove to yourself that you have the ability to work
when maybe some really terrible things are happening
and to make your situation better.
And the thing that's going to happen
isn't necessarily going to be the specific one
or even hundred different scenarios that they've shown you.
But you have worked and you have developed your skills
which will support you to kind of tackle any problem that you might have,
not just as a crew in the ship,
but now you've worked with the whole team on the ground,
and you know you're going to be able to solve those situations
working together.
PM: Has there ever been a time when you felt fear,
real fear or maybe just being unprepared?
MMA: A couple of years ago, I had the, I'll say opportunity,
but I had the situation where I was "voluntold"
to take an assistant directorship job.
And it was something I was very reluctant to do,
I didn't feel prepared for it,
I didn't feel like I had the right skill set,
and I didn't feel like I was going to be good at it.
And none of those are good feelings.
There's a part in your book, Pat, where you say,
"I realized at some point that being ready
could mean being ready to learn quickly while doing."
And, you know, that expression,
that's exactly what it means to be an astronaut.
I know how to do that.
I can learn on the job, I can learn quickly.
And so I did dive into this job
and I did learn quickly while on the job.
I can't say that I was the best person ever to hold that job,
but it was important to me to do my very best
and to be part of this new team.
Women are particularly prone to this where we think,
"Oh, I haven't had training for that, I haven't had a job like that before.
I can't do it."
But you can do it.
You take all of the skills that you've developed
and all of the other things that you're doing,
and you use those to support you while you're learning quickly while doing.
PM: Such good advice, Megan,
I won't be learning by doing flying into space,
but taking that knowledge that we can learn by doing
and we can be prepared, so important.
How would you describe the changes in you personally
from being off this Earth?
MMA: But in the very beginning, when I first launched into space,
you're very busy, you know,
on this spaceship that's just gone through a launch sequence
and you have to turn your spaceship into an orbiting platform.
And so you're very busy.
So we have these books and we're heads down in the books
and we're going through all the steps and moving switches
and loading computer programs.
And I only had a brief moment of time to kind of look out the window
and say, yep, that's where the Earth is, that's exactly where it should be,
and that's how it's looked in all of the pictures I've seen growing up.
And I got right back to work.
And so it wasn't until I had more of an opportunity
to gaze out the window for a while
while I was operating the robotic arm that I could really observe the Earth.
I remember so clearly the first time I saw a lightning storm
across a huge expanse of the ocean
and the lightning, it appeared in different colors,
and it lights up the inside of the clouds
and it makes this kind of, you know, dramatic pattern.
It was like having your own laser light show laid out below you.
And the realization struck me that this is not static.
This is not a photo.
This is our Earth, it's a real living system.
It's hard to describe how impossibly thin it looks to you
with the vast blackness of space on one side
and our beautiful Earth on the other side
and this just incredibly thin layer of atmosphere
that's all that's keeping us and all of us alive
and every life form on Earth,
that's all that's keeping us alive.
And it's a very visceral reaction,
this very strong urge to want to protect
the Spaceship Earth that we're all you know,
you and I are both crew members here,
and, you know, we've all got to work together
to take care of this ship that we're moving on
through the universe.
So it was a very powerful response to seeing that.
PM: Thank you for your work, Megan.
And what do you say, "Safe flight?"
Is there ...?
MMA: We say Godspeed
or we say ad astra -- to the stars.
PM: Ad astra, to the stars, Godspeed, Megan McArthur.
Thank you.
MMA: Thank you so much, Pat.