Hey guy- I need to come up up with a better intro! Today I'm talking about how your still
trans, even if you don't pass. This is a controversial topic and you know I love those, and I know
you love them so that's why I'm doing it. Now before we start this entire video, I,
beautiful Chase Ross right over here- made a video called the problematic concept of
passing where I touch upon this a tinsy bit, but I feel like I need to expand this my ar-
Aaron and I were talking and we came up with this topic. I mean like he mostly came up
with it and then we talked about old video so that's why I'm talking about it today but
again, if you want to check out the problematic pa- c-con- Ohlaloolaloo! The problematic concept
of passing please click on the face! So, what do I mean when I say you're still trans if
you don't pass? So, it's completely normal, okay? For you to feel like you're not trans
or you're not trans enough if you don't pass, okay? It's normal to feel that. Your feelings
are valid, I'm not invalidating your feelings at all. I have felt like this- like four,
five years before I could even touch hormones or start testosterone or like have the idea
that I will look male one day. I waited a long time. But, Um, so it's normal, but I
want to tell you that you are still trans, okay? And this is not like a psa to make you
feel better or anything like that. I'm just saying, it's a fact. Now to reason why I'm
making this video is because um, I have friends who for example they can't wear binders all
the time. One, they have chest pains, they have medical conditions, they run so they
have to wear like sports bras or different types of binders so they don't bind all the
time. This can make people feel very invalidated in their trans identity, I can understand
this completely. Before I had top surgery I, in the binder realm or experiences, I had
to wear binders, and I remember being in high school before I started- I mean I had binders,
I had them at home I would only wear them inside. But I had- um, I had to wear sports
bras when I played rugby, and I just like ugh I hated that but I wore the sports bra
all the time anyways. Um, and then like if you just like skip over a couple of years
where I'm fully wearing the binder all the time, um swimming was absolutely awful, and
I remember being like I- I'm never going to swim until I have top surgery. So instead
of doing that I had to wear a very loose fitting binder, where it binded me a little bit but
it still- I looked like I had a chest, and it made me feel really dysphoric but I really
liked to swim and I really wanted to swim and I always swam at my family's house or
like my cousins house or like a personal thing, there wasn't that many people and stuff like
that but I still felt very uncomfortable. And I felt like I'm not really trans because
you can see a physical part of my body that makes me in your eyes not male. Um, and by
your eyes I mean like society not you, society, you're you you're great you look good today,
society? Ugly. I'm ki- I'm kidding. But seriously society's personality right now... We need
to talk, seriously. I should make a video like that, where I'm like talking to society
and I'm like, we need to talk. No? Yeah, okay. So anyways I felt so invalidated in my identity
because I knew that the people around me knew me before, and then like they like saw a chest
piece- a chest piece. And they like- maybe it like reminded them of who I was before
like the- this all internalized like who know if this is actually happening I real life
like this is just what I'm thinking in my brain that like- my anxiety brain, like my
nonstop thinking brain.. All the time, especially trans things it's- yeah, anyways. Moving away
from the binder thing, um it's also like an issue of safety, and I have definitely talked
about this in my other video the problematic concept of pa- of passing, I'm trying to say
that really fast is not working. Um, I'm trying not to make like a nineteen year video like
I usually do which- agh. Now that I said that its gonna be like 29 years. What was I talking
about? Safety, yes. Okay so there is a safety issue, alright? So you may not be safe of
feel safe, me just say. You may not feel safe wearing a binder if you still appear to society
as feminine in the face. "feminine" in the quotation, because what is what is that, who
knows? Um, and you have to use the women's bathroom. You might not be comfortable wearing
a binder. Um there's other specific areas like if you have to go to a family meeting
at- meeting? A family reunion or like a dinner party for anything like that, the issue of
safety is so ingrained um into passing, and that is like- that's why like- yeah, the prob-
the con- the concept itself of passing is problematic, but it's so necessary in the
safety and like the identity aspect. Because you are definitely trans, not matter what
you think- okay? No matter what you think other people are thinking of you based on
what you look like, you are trans. You are you, you identify as however you want to identify,
it's you it's valid one hundred percent. You when it you. But when we think about passing
as necessary we have to think about it as its related to your identity. So yeah, you're
trans no matter what but you will feel better inside when people finally start to call you
male pronouns, or um like your name and stuff like that, like a-a part to your identity
your inner identity, you'll feel great. Because its hard to get validation from yourself sometimes
when you feel like you're alone. Maybe this video is gonna help, where you're like oh
I'm not actually alone to feel these things, other people are feeling them too and I have
felt them definitely before. And the second aspect is safety, that this is usually mostly
related to bathroom, bathrooms are scary. So like, I can understand the like- the like
I need to pass right now because of the safely issue and because of identity and because
of who you are, one hundred percent. Um, but the reason why it's problematic, the concept
as well is because people make it seem like you're only trans if ya pass, and that right
there is toxic. You know how there's like toxic masculinity and that's like a huge thing
society that everyone's talking about right now like- "fragile masculinity... Oh your
masculinity is so fragile because you can't even hand this..." And it's like all these
toxic things, toxic masculinity things that like make men like act so "macho" and like
do all these things that are very toxic. Um, we have that in the trans community and it
like, like trans passing toxic. Eeeee. Um, where it's like seen as the ultimate- not
the ultimate- yeah the ultimate like you are trans, you will pass- you are trans you want
to pass. You don't have to want to pass, you are trans no matter what anyone else says.
And that is a very contested thing that people might get mad at me about, might not because
there like- there's always the divide cause people on one side are like I identify as
this, who care what anyone else identify at, I will respect whatever you want, it's you.
Who controls you? No one, only you. Then there's the other side which I've talked about before
which is very like no, this is a medical condition, you have to pass, you have to want these steps
in order to be trans. And these sides, whatever side you're on doesn't matter, I have no opinions
right now on this I'm just saying no matter what side you're on we need to acknowledge
that some people cant pass. One, privilege is a huge this in this community. I have the
crazy privilege of being able to pass, an- because I took hormones, and having access
to those hormones is a privilege to me and because of how I got access to them and because
I live in Canada and all these like other things that were like put in place. Um, I
don't know why I Canada but- oh yeah okay Canada- makes sense. Uh, but then there's
other people who don't have access to that so they can not pass, so when you're saying
the ultimatum is passing- the ultimatum, Jesus- the ultimate thing to be trans is to pass,
you're making all these people feel like garbage and if you're one of those people right now
who can not- can not transition right now, you can't go on hormones, you can't have top
surgery, you can't do things for yourself that maybe make you appear more "masculine"
in society um, and be comfortable with your body because either family, work, um, partners
I don't know, pets, I don't know there a whole bunch of like privilege, access, if you live
in a small town and no one has access to it, um if it's like and issue of saf- there are
literally hundreds of reasons why somebody can not start transitioning. But if you are
one of these people, just know- and this video is just for you right now, like this part
right now you- it's vali- you are trans no matter what. It doesn't matter what anybody
else says, if you feel like you're trans you're trans. If you don't pass, if you don't wanna
pass, if you want to pass now but later don't who cares? It doesn't matter, it matters what
you wanna do, right? So if you don't pass right now and it's really getting you down,
and that- that- that- that- that sucks so much, and I completely understand that, I
knew I was trans five years before I even started hormones and then it took me like
nine to ten months before people one hundred percent saw me as male. So there's a big gap
there where I understand and I- yeah I was six years ago but I'm still- it's trauma man,
I feel it. Um, so all- al of these experiences, I've felt them, I've been there, and you are
allowed to feel the way that you feel but try not to make people in this community f-
make you feel invalidated. Um, because of your lack of privilege or your lack of access
to any of these things- um, because your family or because you're young, if you're like thirteen
and your family completely hates trans people and won't put you on blockers or anything
like that, like I just remember sitting at my chair and just feeling like I'm only gonna
be trans when I start to pass. And that right there is just- it's really hard for me to
get out of that because there was like no information back them, like not as much as
there is now. Um, and there was like three youtubers that were doing trans topics and
they were all "passing" and like old and stuff like that, so me hinting that I can only say
I'm trans when I start to pass- that still carries with me now and I hate that. So when
I see friends of mine who are not on hormones and who are like doing things at their jobs
like they're tell people to say Erin an use male pronouns, they use the male- th-the male-
the men's room, whatever, they-they do all these policy changes within their cum- th-
the company and their community, and th-they are not on hormones. They're actively wanting
hormones, but they're not getting it yet. But that to me is just mind blowing like that
is so brave to do, and I know that that's such a cliche but to me that's so brave because
in my head it's like I'm only trans when I start to pass so I don't exist until then.
But some of my friends and some other people out there are really making themselves known,
and that's what we have to do, if you're comfortable, if it's safe, if you wanna do it. That's what
like - that's what important. We need to like- like be out there and show people that look
man, not all trans people look like this, like- I don't know like not all trans women
look like Caitlyn Jenner, not all trans men look like Chaz Bono, or even Aiden, not everyone
looks like that. Um, you're allowed to not look like that and be trans, right? And at
that it is also okay to not fight, right? If somebody says some really transphobic things
around you and it's not safe for you to say it, you don't have so say anything. I- you
don't, are you kidding me? I have been in the same situation like that where if I say
something I'm literally fearing my life or I fear that I'm gonna like yelled at in a
very like loud way because the persons very aggressive and that- I can't handle that I'm-
I'm a sensitive soul, I can't deal with it. Um so you're all- it's okay it's oka- even
is the pers- even if it's not even a safety thing, you're just scared within yourself,
it's okay to just sit back and just like I don't kno- this is so like, complex to talk
about and I feel like maybe calling people out which maybe is like later on, I've talked
about this in the past but this is kinda different. Anyways, I think I'm gonna leave it at that.
Oh my god, thank god I talk fast cause I thought this was an 18 minute video but if I move
my head here and look at the time it's only 13 minutes. Bless. If you have any questions,
please let me know. Don't forget to watch my blogs, I post them every Wednesday and
thought the week, and regular videos on Saturdays and throughout the week. If you have any questions
let me know and I will see you later. Bye!