I love sending my executive producer, Andy, to try
a lot of different things.
He usually does an incredibly average job.
Recently I sent him to Monster Jam
to learn from a monster truck champion,
and here's what happened.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) He's an executive producer on the Ellen Show.
He works hard every day.
He's super duper awesome at what he does,
but he's average in every other way.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Hi, I'm B.J. Johnson.
I'm a 20-year veteran with Monster Jam.
I built 45 trucks in the last five years for the company,
and I have 40 event championships.
And I'm Andy.
What am I looking here?
What am I working with?
State-of-the-art, computer-generated chassis.
The body's all fiberglass.
Well, how's this supposed to-- what happens
if I bump into something, this breaks?
Well, then we'll just fix it.
I know, but you can't fix me.
To get in, you actually crawl up here.
Oh, I see.
See?
Yep.
What do I hold?
Whatever you can grab onto.
OK, all right.
Don't yell at me, B.J. I'm trying.
[BJ CHUCKLES]
All right, here we go.
I'm in.
Wow.
So--
You drive the front with this, with your left hand.
And you're going to drive the back with this.
No, no, no.
If we look down here, we just have a shifter.
This turns the truck on.
So this would be the key.
So every one of these are up.
So any time you would grab this, we say, 1, 2.
Pull it back into gear, have you hit
that button that says starter.
You hit it, and it fires up.
These trucks run a remote ignition interrupter.
So let the switch go, it centers on itself.
That means that everything's good, the track's clear,
and we're good to go.
Why can't you be in here with me?
[BJ CHUCKLES]
I have faith in you.
You're going to be fine.
Yeah.
That's your first mistake.
So over here, this is all your gear.
Simpson fire coat.
Just in case there was an emergency and a fire,
this saves you.
Why would there be a fire?
There shouldn't be.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
If you're wearing all that stuff,
do they get to see your face ever?
No.
Because this is my moneymaker.
[BJ CHUCKLES]
Why are you laughing?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right, so now?
Put that headsock on.
It's open.
It's got a big open hole in it.
Oh, wow.
This is like how they cover the heads in Narcos, Mexico.
[MOANING]
OK, just lean forward a little bit.
Lean forward-- no, no.
[GAGGING]
We're getting a little aggressive there, B.J.
All I want you to do is just drive nice and slow
around the track.
OK, I got it.
We don't have to do no hot dogging or nothing like that.
I don't even know what hot dogging is.
I don't know who can hear me, but here's the thing.
If anything should happen to me, it's important to me
that Ellen gives my family all of her money.
[LAUGHTER]
Not most of it, but all of it.
And she will be allowed to live in one of our guest quarters.
[LAUGHTER]
Andy, put your foot on the brake.
I want you to start the truck up.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
You're clear to go, buddy.
Holy [BLEEP].
Oh God.
Now I want you to reach over, and I
want you to take the shifter and go into second gear.
(COMBATIVE TONE) I don't know what second gear is.
Oh God.
There we go.
Good job.
Why is it so loud?
Jesus.
Step on the gas real hard, one time.
There we go.
Good job.
B.J., is the strap supposed to be so tight on my penis?
[LAUGHTER]
[MAKING REVVING NOISES WITH MOUTH]
[BJ CHUCKLES]
Dude, that's fun.
You did great, buddy.
You're driving tonight.
What do you mean?
Well, tonight, during the show, we're
going to have you drive at intermission.
What do you think?
I'm good at this.
You did good.
I'm not saying you're not, I'm saying I am.
What I felt--
You're shaking.
Like, put your hand out.
Oh, well, that's just being Jewish.
We're nervous about everything.
[HARD ROCK MUSIC]
[CHEERING]
I got Simpson too.
Yeah, we're badass.
[ENGINE REVVING]
You better not be on this thing when I'm riding.
I'm not.
Maybe tape it for the lawsuit.
Yeah.
A 9.316.
Your new leader, Grave Digger.
Oh, oh.
Oh no.
Is that a leg?
It's gonna be you.
No, it's not going to be me.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Monster Jam fans, get your phones out.
Because you are going to be scoring this very exciting
freestyle coming up.
This is such a bad idea.
How you feeling?
Nervous as hell.
I got you.
You know that.
From the "Ellen DeGeneres Show," it's Average Andy.
[CHEERING]
Are they booing?
All right, Andy, fire her up.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
Anaheim, make some noise.
[CHEERING]
Take a deep breath, Andy.
You got this.
I honestly think I'm going to pee.
Let's go have some fun.
[ROCK MUSIC, ENGINE REVVING]
Good job.
[INAUDIBLE]
Oh [BLEEP].
Oh, there we go.
Nice little slide job.
Hit the gas.
[INAUDIBLE] the gas.
[BLEEP]
[ENGINE REVVING]
All right, keep going, buddy.
Good momentum.
Turn it real sharp.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Why don't you do a big circle right there.
Turn the rear gear.
Just turn it.
OK, stop talking to me, B.J.
You're doing good.
Come back to the center.
You're doing awesome.
Got that right.
I'm [BLEEP] nailing it.
[LAUGHTER]
Turn her sharp, turn it sharp, turn it sharp.
All right, I'm going rogue.
I don't care, I'm going over the hill.
Whoa, where you going?
Hit the gas.
Go, buddy.
[ENGINE REVVING]
[CHEERING]
[BLEEP] yeah.
Holy [BLEEP] that's good.
There we go.
Perfect.
Let's hear it one more time for Average Andy.
[CHEERING]
How do you feel?
How are you feeling right now?
I'm feeling very apologetic to this crowd.
But I want to thank B.J. Johnson for everything he's done.
And look for us at a lot of Monster Jams in the future.
All right, well your scores are locked in.
Let's take a look at the video board.
[LAUGHTER]
A 3.577-- what do you think about that score?
Is it out of 4?
(SINGING) He's average in every other way.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you, Andy.
I love you.
We'll be back.