should you bring your NLP skills into
dating
stay tuned
this is Damon from NLP gym
NLP and dating if you haven't already
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channel so you can get these videos on a
regular basis when you combine NLP with
dating it creates a controversial
subject I'm not shy when it comes to
controversial subjects so let's dive
right into this. By the time my marriage ended
i had already been through several NLP
trainings and hypnosis training for the
past previous two years and I've been
practicing for those two years non-stop
and I did what most people do after a
long relationship is I jumped right into
a rebound relationship and that lasted
for about another year when I came out
that he was single I had all these NLP
skills and here i was going back into
dating for the first time in several
years and it's all very much like a high
school dance where I like someone or
attracted to someone I'm afraid she
finds out but if I don't let her know
then nothing's going to happen
yeah I'm afraid of rejection I'm afraid
of other people finding out feeling
embarrassed that i use my NLP skills to
get back on the saddle and get back out
there into the world of dating
absolutely i did I used it off me to
overcome my fear of rejection my fear of
approaching and talking to women are
attracted to
I use my rapport, my pacing and leaving
skills and conversation which is
something that has become second nature
to me one thing all successful people
have in common and that success no
matter how judges and that is the
ability to communicate well it's not
just being able to communicate what it
is you want and what it is you desire
communication is also about listening to
other people and what is it they want
and what they desire
there are NLP teachers out there are
seduction teachers out there who use an
NLP and this is very controversial
because some people argue that this is
manipulation
it's not fair to the woman it's just
plain out wrong and ethical and immoral
it's really hard to put a blanket
statement over something like that
because if you just say that it's wrong
to use NLP and dating then you could
easily say the same thing about cells
that it's wrong to use an NLP skills that
it's wrong to use NLP and any type of
negotiation and it's wrong to use an NLP
and dealing with your clients as a coach
or even as a therapist if your clients
don't really know what you're doing
it's very difficult to draw that
distinction between what is moral and
immoral what is ethical and unethical
this is where ecology comes into play
ecology and NLP is basically being aware
of consequences and it also plays in
very well with systemic NLP so if I'm a
system and whatever I'm relating to we
become a system of relating to each
other and this case with dating I asked
myself would a certain behavior or
introducing a certain behavior or doing
something hard the system or would it be
better for the system or worse for the
system so when you think of terms of
ecology like in the world in our
environment if you think of fossil fuels
fossil fuels have helped this society
advance this country advanced far faster
than we ever would have without them at
the same time it's killing the
environment so at some point is a
trade-off and when you think of ecology
and a system it doesn't mean there's
always going to be a win-win situation
sometimes you can introduce something
into the system and it has good
consequences and negative consequences
and you have a trade-off and you have to
judge between the two overall ecology
and NLP is just becoming more aware of
consequences and being more mindful of
what it is you introduced into the
system and in a sense of dating if you
bring ecology into dating what you're
basically doing is you're seeing beyond
your own desires you're seeing you
relating to this other person as a
system and whatever you introduced into
that system your
being mindful of the possible
consequences so it's not only about you
one is also about what the other person
once and does what it is your behavior
whatever it is you're doing or going to
do going to be better for the system or
worse for the system not necessarily
what's better or worse just for me
in other words you can do something that
might be good for you in the short term
but in the long term might be bad for
you and also for that a person you're
not going to go to make everyone happy
you're not going to be able to please
everyone
that's not what I ecology is about we
look for the win-win situations as much
as possible but they don't always happen
especially and negotiating sometimes we
have to compromise
more specifically in dating ecology is
really about just making sure that
whatever you're doing is for the
positive not for the negative you're not
stipulating you're not coercing you're
not harming anyone you're not attaching
anything negative are trying to drive
the person or pressure person with
negativity what you want an LP and
dating is just good communication and
report and pacing and leading an
understanding of the ecology of the
system and your overall energy is very
effective in dating and creating
connections and bridging gaps and maybe
getting to know someone much better who
you may have not connected with
otherwise healthy and dating is great
for state management it's also great for
connecting with people and in some cases
I've connected with women who I went on
a date with and it went no further than
that but we became really good friends
so that's something that's a huge bonus
you're making connections and that's
what NLP can help you do it all being
especially if you practice can be an
extremely powerful tool especially when
it comes to communicating with other
people and connecting with other people
with power though comes it's equal in
responsibility
you want to discover and cultivate your
personal power
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