(screaming)
- [Woman With Long Hair] Is this seriously
the only jacket you had in your car?
- [Woman With Short Hair] Are you serious?
You didn't even bring one, what are you complaining about?
- I'm just saying that this looks like it may
have a matching set of pom poms.
- Oh really?
Well if I had of known you were gonna wear a stripper
dress and you needed a jacket,
I could've bought a stripper jacket.
- What is wrong with my dress?
- Well actually nothing, it's kind of cute.
Thanks.
- Here we are.
There you go.
Sign away your right to sue and things go south
and boy, howdy, will they.
Won't they?
- Just a standard waiver.
Nothing to worry about.
Same as any other haunted house.
- Oh, that's not what I heard.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I heard this joint is off the Richter.
I heard it gets pretty hardcore in there.
- Hardcore?
- Wait, did I just sign up for hardcore?
- No, no, no, I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
It's just that they're a little more in your face
than the normal haunted house.
They're interactive.
They can touch you, but you can't touch them.
- Nope.
- It's fun.
Halloween.
- Ah, the things we do for friends.
- Yes.
(clearing throat) Sign it.
(tense music)
Look it.
- You just have to line up to the right,
and happy haunts.
(chuckling) - See?
He said, "Happy.
"Happy haunts."
- [Woman With Short Hair] Yeah, well happy haunts.
- [Man] Happy haunts.
- [Woman With Short Hair] Come on.
- Come on, sour puss.
Hey you know I've been reading about this place
and the buzz about is that it's like the most terrifying
haunted house ever.
Like, it's gonna blow the doors off
the whole haunted house thing.
- Yeah you can't verb that.
- Oh I can't?
Look, you don't know.
Look, here's the thing.
This place, they chose this location
because in the 1980s, it was a satanic cult
that was living here and they were doing blood rituals
and they were like, delivering demon babies,
and the LAPD like, shut the whole place down for decades.
It only reopened just now.
- Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
This is much better than bottomless margaritas.
- Wait hold still.
Yeah, you have some lame on you.
- Come on.
Look,
thank you for coming with me and
I do appreciate it 'cause you know, Beatrice
never liked scary things.
- Well actually neither do-- - Yes we do.
Yes we do, yes we do.
Honestly, we do.
We can't wait to get in there and see if it
(clearing throat) lives up to the hype?
Right, Shel?
Come on.
We're excited about this.
This is--
- Oh, hold up, y'all.
It's only two at a time.
- What?
- It's just the three of us.
- I mean, two and a half really.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Policy is pairs only.
But look, if it's not too weird, I can hook you
up with her, that was the wait isn't too long.
- That's totally cool with me if it's cool with you.
- Um, would--
- You know what?
She clearly needs you more than we do, so, yeah,
go for it.
- Me?
You sure you don't wanna?
Okay.
- No, no, no, no, we're cool, we're cool.
Thank you, thank you, we're super cool.
- [Man] They call me Carp.
- [Woman] I'm Blair.
- Hey, did you hear that in the 80s this place--
- It was all the cult-y stuff.
- Yes. - The satanic--
- You know about that.
And they had like demon babies.
- Oh my god I'm so happy you know about that.
- I'll see you guys on the other side.
- Bye.
- Yeah, you have a good time.
- Oh, look out for the demon.
- [Woman With Long Hair] Wait, what?
(laughing)
- [Carp] This demon.
- There ain't no demon.
- Oh we're cool.
Super cool.
Look at us.
- You know what?
I hope they really give it to you in there.
I hope that happens.
(screaming)
- Guys, guys.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
I totally made it up that girl's skirt.
Oh, this is the best job ever.
Man, November's gonna suck.
- Let me sniff.
- [Demon] Must feed.
- Guys, I definitely heard it that time.
Man, it's saying, "Must feed."
- I'll give that redhead from earlier something to feed on.
- No, I don't know, man, forget about her.
She smelled like broken dreams and pickle juice.
Anyway, my girl, she was pillowy in all the right places.
- You guys need to listen to me okay--
- You saw how she was looking at me.
- Yeah, she as halfway an O-face, but,
it's just frightening on her.
- Look, come to her place like this, dressed like that,
you're asking for it.
- You're very right about that.
Oh guys, hey, hey, look at the fresh meat.
- That's some grade A.
Let's give these tasties a night they won't forget.
- Oh yeah.
- You know what?
It's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be totally fine.
- Well don't you seem so sure all of a sudden?
- Yeah well you know what, if it's not,
this is drink 'til we forget afterwards.
- That I can get on board with.
- Yeah.
- [Bouncer] It's time.
- [Woman With Short Hair] Yeah.
(chuckling)
(door slamming) (yelling)
Oh.
- So glad we did this. (chuckling)
(tense music) (yelling)
- That's fake.
That's fake.
Okay.
(yelling)
Okay.
That guy totally just grabbed my ass.
- [Shel] No shit.
- No shit, grabbed my ass.
Okay, let's, not be, come on.
They should not be ass grabbing.
(tense music) (yelling)
God it, mother--
Okay, you know what?
I've had just about enough of this.
- [Shel] Yeah.
(gasping)
- What the hell?
- [Shel] What happened?
- Um...
Maybe we should go.
- [Shel] You don't have to tell me twice.
(yelling) (hitting)
(grunting) (hitting)
- Okay.
Uh, we should go this way.
Okay.
- Shit.
(tense music)
Hey, where are you going?
- I'm leaving. - Shh.
This is the way out.
- No, that's the haunted house.
This is the real--
- Yeah, the haunted house leads out.
I don't know where that leads.
The outside goes-- (screaming)
- We should go, let's go.
(yelling)
(hitting)
- You ain't goin' nowhere.
(hitting) (grunting)
(tense music)
(hitting) (grunting)
(hitting) (yelling)
(sniffing)
(hitting) (shattering)
- Okay.
Yeah. (heavy breathing)
Come on.
- [Man] Don't go.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
(hitting) (grunting)
(tense music)
(hitting) (grunting)
(hitting)
(crashing)
(grunting)
(heavy breathing)
(hitting)
(tense music)
(heavy breathing)
- [Demon] Must feed.
Must feed.
(heart beating)
(tense music)
(screaming)
(tense music)
- [Narrator] Watch new scary bits every Tuesday,
Thursday, and Friday.
(upbeat electronic music)