INFJs are a unique personality type on the Myers Briggs spectrum when it comes to communication.
They can often be individuals who find themselves struggling to express their thoughts and feelings,
even when they’re with people they trust and feel comfortable around.
It's not that they don't want to communicate with others, but rather, they can find it
difficult to articulate their innermost thoughts and emotions in a way that others can understand.
It's as if they have a fortress built around their internal world, keeping others at bay.
It can be a frustrating experience for the INFJ themselves as its not always intentional.
And as for others, it leaves them wondering if an
INFJ is even interested in engaging with them at all.
So why is that? Do INFJs hate talking, or is there more behind their quiet exterior?
Let’s look at The Science Behind INFJs Struggle with Putting Thought into Words
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INFJs need to process information deeply
INFJs process information deeply because their cognitive function stack is designed to do so.
Their dominant function; Introverted Intuition (Ni), encourages them to look beyond the surface
level of information, while their auxiliary function; Extraverted Feeling (Fe), helps them
consider the emotional and interpersonal implications of that information.
This combination allows them to gain a thorough understanding of a situation and its context.
However while INFJs' tendency to process information deeply can be a strength in
many circumstances, it can also make it challenging for them to process
words quickly or efficiently in their social interactions.
They may take longer to respond in conversations as they often need
extra time to gather their thoughts and choose their words carefully.
This process of finding the exact word for a particular context is known as "word retrieval”,
which can pose a particular challenge for introverted individuals like INFJs.
This difficulty in expressing themselves may lead to them falling behind in conversations
compared to individuals who process information faster, making them
appear less knowledgeable than they actually are.
Many might be familiar with hesitating to speak up,
and struggling to articulate their thoughts when called upon.
This linguistic challenge can be attributed to an INFJs introspective nature, they have
an innate preference to ruminate over ideas, and examine them from every possible angle.
When caught up in this inward reflection,
even a simple question such as "What's for dinner?" can leave them at a loss for words.
Unlike their extroverted counterparts who prefer to think out loud,
INFJs prefer to contemplate silently and introspectively,
with words often feeling like an unnecessary or inadequate tool for expressing their thoughts.
INFJs process information intuitively
INFJs have a strong preference for Intuition (N) and Introverted Intuition (Ni) in particular
as it’s their most dominant cognitive function. This means that they tend to
process information by intuitively synthesizing and connecting various ideas and patterns,
rather than relying solely on concrete, sensory information.
Given this preference for intuitive processing, INFJs have a tendency to store information in
their long-term memory that relates to patterns, connections, and insights.
The bulk of information stored in their long-term memory lies
beyond their conscious awareness, residing there for prolonged periods,
with some memories proving more challenging to recall than others.
For example; a memory of a foreign country they visited years ago where they had an exciting
experience, might be buried deep within the recesses of their long-term memory.
This means while they might not be able to recall it immediately,
seeing a photo or hearing a particular song associated with that trip could
trigger memories and bring back the excitement they felt at the time.
Accessing long-term memory can be a challenging and time-consuming process,
as it requires specific associations or triggers to bring the stored
information to the surface of their consciousness.
It is therefore this process of having to retrieve information
from their long term memory that could also slow INFJs down when speaking.
INFJs can be more prone to social anxiety
It is quite common for INFJs to experience anxiety when speaking,
although it is not necessarily a universal trait among all INFJs.
As introverts, INFJs tend to process information internally and so they can
become overwhelmed in social situations, particularly when they feel that they
are not being understood or when their values are being challenged.
INFJs also have Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as their auxillary function which means they
tend to have very strong empathetic abilities, often highly attuned to the emotions of others.
This has the potential to cause anxiousness if they sense that
their words or actions may have caused harm or or lead to conflict.
And it’s this heightened sensitivity that can make speaking in front of a large audience or engaging
in awkward conversations particularly challenging for this personality type.
For example at a job interview, if the interviewer asks them a question
that catches them off guard. Their anxious propensity often means their
minds go blank as they struggle to come up with a coherent response.
Even if they’re prepared well for the interview and know the answer to the question, the anxiety
can interfere with their ability to retrieve the information and articulate it effectively.
The body naturally releases cortisol in response to this anxiety,
and it’s this that often disrupts their brain's ability to process information,
leading to temporary memory loss and difficulty recalling important details.
INFJ brains may just prefer other forms of communication
INFJs, like many introverted personality types, often prefer written communication to
speaking because it allows them to process their thoughts more thoroughly before sharing them.
Their introspective minds will require this time to reflect on
their ideas and feelings before it is able to feel comfortable.
Writing can therefore be a medium that can provide INFJs with a more controlled environment,
where they can take the necessary time to process their thoughts and carefully choose their words
without the pressure of immediate response that a real-time conversation will requires.
This will be particularly important for INFJs as well, as they often
place a higher value on communication that is both authentic and meaningful.
From a neurological perspective,
their brains may processes written and spoken language differently also.
Most Introverted-Intuitive types will tend to use different neural pathways when processing
and producing language than is common. Their language processing system is closely linked
to their memory, meaning that written language can be more easily retained and recalled than spoken
language - and so cognitively they’re often just better suited to writing than speaking.
However while INFJs may still be comfortable speaking with others,
they’ll often tend to prefer written communication because it allows them
to fully express themselves and process their thoughts more deeply.
As the famous saying goes “Quiet people have the loudest minds.”
For those INFJs who struggle with speech, it just might be in your nature to halt and ponder.
It's important to note that while some INFJs may struggle with expressing their thoughts verbally,
they have other strengths and communication styles;
such as writing that can be far superior to the average person.
Overall being aware of your particular communication style can lead to better
interactions and relationships with others.
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