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>> Joe: Creepy. Lee: Terrifying.
Joe: Scary Lee: Unsettling
>> Joe: It’s bizarre beyond imagination and now I need an adult.
>> Lee: These are not reviews for an upcoming horror flick my friends, however, they are
reactions to something that might be even scarier.
>> Joe: Shield your eyes if you’re weak of heart for I present to you the terror that
is McDonald’ s new Happy Meal Mascot.
>> Lee: Happy is his name and making children wet themselves in ballpits is his game.
>> Joe: Happy and his off putting perfect teeth were revealed by the billion dollar
corporation yesterday, and much to their chagrin, the social reaction was anything but positive.
Here are some highlights: Please tell me an unpaid intern designed this,
because otherwise, there's no excuse.
>> Lee: And, “oh, this was a mistake, McDonald's”
>> Joe: And our personal favorite, Hey @McDonalds is that Gary Busey?
>> Lee: Now admittedly, their public reasoning behind the lazy 3D rendering could be considered
noble, as it is to quote, "encourage kids to enjoy fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy
and wholesome beverages such as water or juice."
The real reason is to SELL MORE HAPPY MEALS.
>> Joe: Happy’s American debut coincides with the debut of a Yoplait Go-Gurt option
that will now be available for the boxes-o-food, which, if I may say, is another whole level
of weird and creepy for me.
I am so weirded out by this new sucking food out of tubes and packets fad.
But.
all the cool kids in first grade are doing it.
And if inhaling food out of disposable packets is what it takes to be a cool kid in first
grade, consider me a fully grown adult that should stop hanging out on playgrounds during
school hours.
>> Lee: What’s really crazy here is that the animated anthropomorphized box of nightmares
is 5 years old.
Happy was first introduced in France back in 2009 and his creepy arch eyebrows were
accepted enough to spread throughout Europe and into Latin America.
>> Joe: No word yet on an official catch phrase, but I’m guessing it’s “Hey Kids, eat
what’s inside me.”
>> Lee: Or, would you like EYES with that?
>> Joe: Oh no, that only works if you do the voice.
>> Lee: WOULD YOU LIKE EYES WITH THAT?!?!
HEY KIDS, MAKE SMART FOOD CHOICES AND AFTER YOU’RE DONE WITH ME CRUMPLE UP MY FRAGILE
BODY AND PROPERLY DISPOSE OF MY REMAINS.
DON’T WORRY, THAT’S NOT BLOOD.
IT’S KATSUP!
… AND A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD.
>> Joe: To be fair to Happy, it’s not like he’s replacing someone that isn’t creepy.
Ronald McDonald’s intentions are far from innocent.
Just sitting on park benches waiting for people to sit on his lap.
>> Lee: Guys, what do you think of McDonalds new marketing direction?
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