♪ I said crippled donkey Mel Brooks book train ♪
♪ bats on my knees ♪
♪ Penicillin trapdoor laser currency beans ♪
(funky rock music)
- [Peele] Noah Sanders, here for the job interview.
- Please take a seat, Mr. Weinstein will see you next.
(lounge music)
(sighs)
- Job interviews huh? Never fun.
Okay. I get it. Stay focused.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
(laughter)
Oh, that's a big laugh.
(Peele sighs)
- [Weinstein] Oh no.
- [Adam] I did it. - No you didn't.
(interviewer and interviewee laughing hysterically)
- Geez, is this a job interviewer or the Carol Burnett show?
You know what I mean?
(both laughing)
- I can't- - Oh, sir, sir, sir, sir
- Oh my God. That is too rich.
- [Adam] Oh, wow.
- [Key] Thanks so much for coming in Adam.
- [Adam] Of course.
And you better stay away from that Chinese food.
- [Key] Oh my god, you got that right.
That's doing a number on my stomach.
(martial arts shouting) (Adam grunts)
- Here's your fortune. You're gonna be sick in a half-hour.
(men cackling)
- Oh my gosh. What an absolute delight, Adam.
- It's been great. And you-
Can I tell you something real quick?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I don't even care if I get this job
'cuz I know I've made a friend for life.
- [Key] What a terrific attitude.
What a great goddamn attitude.
- [Adam] Yeah.
- You son of a gun. You know what?
Right quick before you leave,
I want to give you something.
- [Adam] No sir, I can't take any more gifts.
This whole thing has been a gift.
- [Key] My brother passed away.
(solemn music)
21 years ago.
We were estranged and he became ill,
and he gave this to me as a peace offering.
(Adam sighs)
And then one day when we were on the ocean
he fell overboard.
On a boat very much like this one and died.
- [Key] I saw him struggling all the way as a riptide
just pulled him down.
- That bitch ocean
- Would you please accept this as a token
of my gratitude for you bringing joy back into my life?
- [Adam] Under any other circumstance, I would refuse.
But I will accept this gift today.
Because I know how much it means to you.
So I will.
- Thank you.
- Ahoy matey.
(both snorting)
- (laughing) Ahoy matey?
(laughs)
- How is that funny?
(laughing)
- Bernadette, Bernadette, are you hearing any of this guy?
- Oh my god.
- This guy- how do you keep a straight face all day?
(cackling)
- She's- she's sweet. Sweeter than pie. Sweeter than pie.
- Oh my God. God dammit, I love your (beep) energy.
- Well what can I say, sir?
I am solar powered.
(Key squeals into a laugh)
- Really? You like that one, huh?
- Oh, thanks so much, Adam. Terrific.
Best interview I've ever been a part of in my entire life.
Okay. Who's next?
You? Ready? Let's go. Chop, chop. Here we go.
(clapping)
Come on. Let's go.
(claps)
- [Peele] Okay. Woohoo! Hoo!
Requesting permission to come on board, sir.
Hi, Noah Sanders is the name.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother.
Maybe we can get some Chinese food after this?
- All right, all right. Okay. Take it easy.
Jeez. Settle down turbo.
(audience applauds)
(funky guitar music)
♪ Got a pocket full of funky with a peppermint twist. ♪
♪ She's a cold, shifty mama blastin' off on the flip ♪
♪ Iridescent pork belly galactic super train ♪
♪ Mama sister playground with a straw daddy cane (uh huh) ♪
♪ Gotta get it up (hey) ♪
♪ Gotta get it up (uh huh) ♪
♪ Gotta get it down (hey) ♪
♪ Gotta make it strong ♪
♪ Got that quick dip crayon earthquake jet pack on a bun ♪
♪ Locomotive supernova Spanish Harlem sun ♪
♪ Slick crawfish solar blast with phosphorescent brain ♪
♪ Who's that mama squat town deep fried Detroit soda train ♪
♪ Gotta shake it up ♪
♪ Gotta move it in ♪
♪ Gotta put it down ♪
♪ You gotta make it swim ♪
♪ Nebulatic comets sanitation disease ♪
♪ Quick play tornado rip and tickle beef sneeze (hey) ♪
♪ Ships planets justice cannons, cables, and trees ♪
♪ Doctor's office penguin shillings, railroads, and peas ♪
♪ I said crippled donkey Mel Brooks book train ♪
♪ bats on my knees ♪
♪ Penicillin trapdoor laser currency beans ♪
♪ He say Penicillin trapdoor laser currency beans ♪
- Hey, what the hell are we saying, man?
- I got no idea, man.
I'm just hungry and talking about the galaxy and trains.
I think they buying it, though.
(song ends)
(audience cheering and applauding)
- [Man] Thank yous for meeting here.
- Of course. You know,
I was glad we could set aside our differences
and you know, avoid a war here, you know.
- Salud
- All right. Salud.
(rock music intensifies)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Anthony!
(knife shings)
- [Peele] Nah, don't do that.
(Man grunts)
We're trying to avoid a war here.
No, Anthony. No.
That's too much.
What are you doing?
We're just having a nice little dinner here.
(thud)
Alright, well that's just disrespect-
(Key mumbles)
Oh no. Not his hair. And he had good hair.
Yeah, you're done. You already messed-
- [Key] You know what that means.
- [Peele] What's going- What are you doing now?
His phone?! No, no, no.
Don't go deleting this contacts. - Delete, delete, delete
He's not gonna know whether to answer it or not.
You're finished now? That's that's good.
Look what you did.
Now, we were in the middle of something.
And now, what's going on, what are you doing there?
Oh, that's permanent.
That's a permanent silly mustache.
Ah, now he looks like a- a sleeping musketeer,
that's adorable but it's, it's ridiculous.
He can't, he can hardly wash that off.
That's- Well that's- Where you going?
What is that?
Nah, what the- what are you doing?
(sputtering)
What are you putting in his hand?
That doesn't even make sense. - Yeah.
- That doesn't even make sense.
Oh, oh, Anthony. Oh, that's hilarious.
But save that for a slumber party.
(utensils clanging)
All right, what are you doing?
No, you're rearranging the silverware.
That's just so mean.
That's- It's confusing. It's confusing enough.
Well what the- Anthony.
Anthony, don't do it.
Oh, well, you know, the salad needed a little pepper,
So that's good. So that's- that's not so bad.
You finally did something constructive.
What are you looking for?
What are you-?
You're putting the silverware back. That's good!
Well, that's all- that's good.
Now he knows he can go from outside to inside.
That's- oh, you're putting a little jus in his hair.
That's good, yeah, jus it.
Jus it- Oh, now, well, that-
It actually looks better than when he came in.
If he wasn't unconscious, he could go out on the town.
So that's good, that's good.
(Key grunting)
Oh, okay, you got- all right, wipe off- wipe off his face.
Yeah, yeah, and get the mustache while you're at it.
Cause that's that's the most embarrassing part.
Ah, he doesn't ridiculous anymore.
Oh, okay, yeah, that's, that's-
Now you're helping everybody.
That's good for everybody. Everybody likes that.
Nobody wants lettuce on the floor.
- Spick-and-(beep)-span.
- All right. We done?
All right. You really turned this around Anthony
There he go- All right, and then you're gone, then.
All right, all right. He won't even know what hit him.
He won't even know that any-
(dreadful music)
Oh no, no, no, no, no. Anthony.
Anthony, I can see it in your eyes.
I can see it in your eyes.
You're going the other way now, Anthony.
Anthony, it was going so well.
Well that's- that's- that's perverse, Anthony.
I don't even know what that- What's that?
What are you going to do with that finger?
What are you doing- Oh!
Yeah, no. Not a wet willy.
No! No, Anthony.
Oh, we're going to war, Anthony.
We're going to war. We're going to war.
(air whooshes)
- [Peele] I'm telling you Vinny.
No disrespect to your daily departed grandmother.
But my aunt makes a pasta- forget about it.
Your aunt lives in this neighborhood?
Seems kind of dangerous.
- [Key] What are you McGruff the Crime Dog?
Come on, we're late already.
- Yeah. You, you say she lives in this house here?
- The (beep) is the matter with you Vinny?
You're being rude. Let's go.
(crickets chirping and dogs barking in the distance)
- [Peele] Not trying to be rude. The lights are off.
Maybe we- let's come back later okay?
- She's probably just taking a nap
after the huge meal she just made for us.
Go in.
- I don't have the key. You should go in first.
- Oh Marrone, she said she'd leave it open.
Vinny, stop being such a strunz and get in there.
(eerie orchestral music) - All right, all right.
(door creaks)
(opera music)
(opera music ends)
- Surprise.
(acapella music)