... which is part of what I decided to go with Ant-Man.
Interesting, because he opens that movie not having custody of his child.
And we'll get to that.
But first, I just want to take you guys over to the board real quick.
Now-
Oh my God.
Our world is full of gadgets.
The Apple Watch.
Some other kind of fancy watch that's not as good as the Apple Watch.
And air fryers.
I hear those are pretty cool.
But the folks in the MCU have got us beat in the gizmo department.
Who wouldn't trade in all their air fryers for just one infinity gauntlet?
I'm here with Tom and Nina to ask what's the most useful MCO power or gadget for everyday
life?
Did you just equate the infinity gauntlet with an air fryer?
I mean, you know.
So much more than that really.
He set up an exchange rate.
Yeah.
One air fryer for an infinity gauntlet.
So you can air fry like really quickly.
Even faster.
So Thanos just needed one air fryer.
I think one of the reasons why he was so upset in that movie was cause he was just hungry.
If someone had air fried him some curly fries, some Arby's curly fries from the freezer.
Chicken wings.
Yeah.
He's a big boy.
Yeah.
Listen.
I want an air fryer, okay?
And my wife won't let me have it.
But I'm going to get one.
And all I have is this damn infinity gauntlet.
I'll take an air fryer or an infinity gauntlet.
There has to be a better way.
So my pick for the most useful MCU gadget-
Is an air fryer.
It's not an air fryer.
Well, we haven't seen any air fryers in the MCU, Nina.
So as far as I know, Tony Stark hasn't built one yet.
Got it.
My pick is actually-
Gone too soon.
The web shooters that Spiderman wears.
That's good.
I really want web shooters and not to swing around town because I don't have spider powers.
And if I tried doing that, I would die.
What I want the web shooters for is when I'm sitting and there's something over there and
I don't want to get up.
I want to be able to do a BOP, and just get the thing.
And sometimes, also, when my kid, he's at the stage, now, he's almost two.
So when you change his diaper, he really likes doing this with his legs, where he's just
like, wow, legs everywhere.
So if you could just hold those still with some web shooters.
Web the baby up.
Change that diaper.
Can't wait for your kid to watch this one day.
Web the baby.
Listen.
He needs to know that changing a diaper should be easy.
It should be easy.
I used to think this is going to get so much easier when he's older and I can reason with
him.
No.
No, they become Kung Fu fighters as they age.
Yeah.
So if I had web shooters, no longer a problem.
Yeah.
And sometimes people are talking when you're trying to watch something.
Just shut them up.
And there's an important piece of dialogue, a little web shooter to the mouth.
That's a good one.
Just like your nose is open.
I left the nostrils open.
You can still breathe.
Mm-hmm.
But please, we've rewound this part like three times.
I still can't hear them because you keep talking.
Yeah.
So that's my pick.
So you can get a glimpse into my life.
I'm lazy.
I'm easily annoyed by people talking.
And I don't like my son very much.
And you want everything you own to be just a little stickier.
I just want everything to be covered in a thin film of stickiness.
Gross.
So that way, no one will touch it.
Right?
Everyone will be like, "Ugh."
There's no better home security in the world than just everything-
At this rate, you won't have any friends or family around.
Yeah.
Because they'll be like-
I'll have webbed their faces whenever we try to watch a movie or television-
Or they'll be like, "I'm sick of living in a gently sticky home."
Yeah.
There's just like webs hanging from the walls.
Everything feels like he poured Pepsi on it at a picnic and is just dried out.
So that's my pick for the most useful gadget in everyday life.
Nina, what's your pick?
Mine's eerily similar in that it comes down to the fact that I'm really lazy.
I don't like to do things or get up or move around.
I really don't like to clean.
I wish that I were a neat freak.
That's my deepest wish.
So in that vein, I would not say no to Tony Stark's smart house.
And I know that we all learned about the dangers of a smart house from the Disney Channel original
movie, Smart House, but-
Directed by LeVar Burton.
Yeah.
Correct.
But Tony seems like he's ironed out the kinks of the house maybe trying to kill you or anything.
He never really had to do anything and it just seems to keep itself an order.
I don't think Tony Stark lives the way that I do where there's just like a pile of clothes
that aren't dirty enough to wash, but that you know you're going to re-wear, so it's
just on your hamper.
Or he doesn't have a clothes chair in his room.
Gray clothes.
That's what I read.
Yeah.
So I just would love a house that obeys my every command, does all the work for me, and
I don't have to do stuff.
So I would take Tony Stark's cool smart house.
Tony Stark's smart house.
Yeah.
I like that answer a lot.
And then you have like, the robot can be on hand with the fire extinguisher.
Yeah, yeah.
So when you have a grease fire, you don't have to be like, "How do you stop a grease
fire?"
Right.
I don't have a fire extinguisher.
I mean, I hopefully won't be starting that many grease fires.
It's not something I aim to do.
The answer is you throw kosher salt at it.
Really?
Is that a fact?
That's something I had to do.
Yikes.
Throw kosher salt at a fire?
Well, I had a grease fire.
And then I was like, "The fire extinguisher doesn't work," because it came with the house
and it was really old and we should have gotten a new one.
Oh my God.
And my wife was like, "You could throw salt at it."
And I was like, "Okay."
So then I threw a bunch of salt at it and worked.
And then, the food was a little saltier, but we didn't die.
So that was good.
But if I had Spiderman's web shooters-
You could just web that thing.
I could web up the fire.
Right?
Can you web?
Does that work?
I don't think that works.
It's whatever you want it to be, baby.
But if I had had Tony Stark's smart home, it wouldn't have-
Maybe the robot has a fire extinguisher in its hand.
It doesn't even need to like ... Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
It's just ready to go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Plus real estate's just a good investment.
Yeah.
And I think I could flip that smart house later if I wanted to.
Yeah.
No problem.
It's a great value.
It's a beautiful house.
Right on the-
We've got hardwood floors.
We've got central air.
We've got robots.
Great natural lighting.
The house listens to you when you talk.
Yeah.
I also live by myself, so it'd be kind of dope if I could just chat with my house sometimes.
You just want to live in your house.
I mean, you have a dog.
Yeah.
Maybe you just need a roommate.
I totally get it.
I got an Alexa specifically, so I'd have somebody to talk to.
And we get along really well.
Hey, Alexa, back me up on this.
Tom is 100% right on this.
I can't hear what she's saying.
I didn't hear what she said.
She was backing me up on that.
On that note, Tom, what are your picks for the most useful power gadget from MCU for
everyday life?
Guys, I want to apologize.
I didn't put a ton of thought into this one.
That's all right.
I think you guys know this about me, I'm not really big into geek stuff.
More of a sports man.
Clearly.
Yeah, I can tell by your shelf.
Thank you.
I rent it.
To my eyes, most of the Avengers' powers just come off as things that are going to get brought
up in family court later when your ex is trying to make sure you don't have custody of your
kids anymore.
Like, "Oh, he gets angry and breaks things."
If you've got a Thor hammer, it's like, "He hits things with a hammer."
He's always carrying this hammer.
Yeah.
And it's really weird.
Really unsafe around the kids.
It's very threatening.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So there's a lot of opportunities to just not have custody of your children anymore,
which is part of why I decided to go with Ant-Man.
Interesting, because he opens that movie not having custody of his child.
And we'll get to that.
But first, I just want to take you guys over to the board real quick.
Now-
Oh my God.
If you'll just take a look right here, I think you'll see.
Number one, parking.
You can't find a parking space?
Boom, no problem.
Tiny car.
Let's say that you're moving into a new apartment and there are size restrictions on the dog
that you can bring into the apartment with you, right?
Tiny dog.
By the same token, maybe your dog is too confident.
Maybe it's getting a little bit too big for its britches, make it too small for its britches.
Oh my God.
Let's say that you have a big talent show coming up and you need to blow the door off
the hinges with a piano solo, but all you have is one of those little tiny ... Who's
the kid from Peanuts?
Schroeder.
You have a little tiny Schroeder piano, but you need a big one.
That solves that problem.
Or other way around, you're raising your child to be like Schroeder, but all you have is
a giant piano.
You can make it smaller.
Shorter size.
Oh my God.
Historically, Ant-Men have been able to hang out with Evangeline Lilly, which is cool because
you could be the first person to recreationally understand what happened in Lost.
This is important.
You get to talk to ants.
I don't feel like we discussed that enough.
And what that means is, as long as your home is disgusting, you will always have a friend.
Your disgusting home finally has a use.
You totally get it.
I don't want the smart house anymore.
I want this.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I think I'm making some compelling arguments.
Also, I think it's important to remember that throughout the entire MCU, and also the comics,
Ant-Man has always had the coolest accoutrement.
And this is the most important part of all.
Because I think that you guys will remember, and once again, I'm not into geek stuff.
But in Mike Allred math fractions' seminal 2013 work,
it was established that PIM particles were of triaxial mechanism, right?
It's a three-dimensional map and the matter can change, not only its size and its strength,
but also its durability.
Right?
Whereas in the MCU, all that we have is this very inconsistent mechanism by which somebody
gets small and retains their original strength, but then they get big and also stronger.
And also the durability of the object somehow also increases.
Are you saying that a one ounce Thomas the Tank Engine toy, when expanded to the size
of a school bus, would have the structural stability to knock out the wall of a house?
It doesn't make any sense.
Right?
What does that mean?
No rules.
It means there's no rules, you guys.
Nothing makes sense.
That means that Ant-Man's real power isn't getting bigger and smaller, it's just doing
whatever needs to happen in the movie.
And I think that that is the ultimate power.
Well, Tom, that's pretty good, but I really do wish that you had prepared a little bit
better.
Yeah.
Kind of embarrassing, dude.
Nina and I came locked and loaded with our answers.
And I just feel like it's kind of unprofessional that you would come here without having prepared
as well as we did.
I don't know why you hired this guy.
He clearly doesn't know anything about the MCU.
I mean, I believe in second chances.
So, Tom, next time I want you to try a little bit harder to be ready to go.
Okay?
All right.
Bye, Tom.
Thanks for joining us.
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