A long time ago in a galaxy far far
We’re just under the ocean silly.
Not so long ago in the middle of the pacific ocean, a giant portal opened up that allowed
giant monsters to come through.
Hey Everyone!
Oooops!
Clumsy me!!
Sorry bout that…
I’m just too big for my britches!
The monsters were called Kaiju and they kept coming.
Since they were really good at breaking our stuff,
they had to be stopped.
Rather than invest in more practical options like flying weapon platforms
or satellites that could just cook the monsters from orbit,
we decided to build robots.
I build robots.
Robots designed to do one thing.
Punch monsters in the face.
C’mon big brother!
Time to go fight a Kaiju Okay bro!
I hope nothing bad happens to one of us!
Ooooo!
Nice boat!
Step away from the boat!
Can I play?
WOOOPSIE!
My internals!!
NOOOOOOOOO!
SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO ONE OF US!!!
The Monsters keep getting stronger.
What should we do?
Keep using robots!
Nah that’s dumb.
What else could we do?
We can build a giant wall. and make the Kaiju pay for it!
Yeah!
Do it!
My man!
Man, building this wall sucks!
But at least I get to do this WEEEEEEEEEE!!!
This just in!!!
There’s been another Kaiju attack.
Hi guys!
Nice wall!
Oh No!
The wall didn’t keep out the illegal alien!
Luckily there was a Jaeger nearby that was able kill the kaiju.
You’re welcome everyone!
Because I’m the best Jaeger pilot ever!
I used to be the best pilot ever...
Wanna come back and prove it!
No.
Come on.
PRETTY PLEASE!!!
Ok.
This is Mako.
She’s my assistant and totally not my adopted daughter…
Hello
And this is our research team.
I’m a scientist and I LOVE Kaiju!
And I’m a scientist and I HATE everything!
THIS... is the number 4.
Also Kaijus are about to start coming more frequently so we’re all probably gonna die soon.
Well we should nuke them.
It’s the only way to be sure.
I don’t wanna do that.
I want to connect brains you know?
Find out what they’re planning…
That’s dumb.. you’re dumb..
So you’re the Marshal’s assistant huh?
What do you think about me?
I think you’re dangerous.
I took my shirt off, how about now?
ohhhh myyyy….
You think you’re so great, don’t you?
Not really.
No, but I’m pretty awesome
Nu uh!
I’m totally better than you!
OOOOHHHH…
I need to fight some fools!
I’m tired of fighting boys.
I want to fight a girl.
Can I?!
No.
Please?
Okay.
Okay, she’s really good at fighting so that means she’s my girlfriend...
I mean copilot
No.
Please?
Okay.
Okay, I know they told me not to… but I’m just gonna connect to this kaiju
brain anyway because YOLO!
Oh man!
I totally know their plan!
What did you see?
I need another brain!
I think I know a guy…
I’m Hannibal.
But you can call me Hellboy.
Oh, nice to meet you, Hellb..
OOOWWW!
THAT’S NO WAY TO SAY HELLO!
Sorry.
Force of habit.
It’s time connect our minds so we can pilot this robot together.
Don’t worry.
Nothing bad can possibly happen, just don’t go into your origin story-
TOO LATE!!!
Mommy?
Hey little girl!
Don’t run!
I can help you find your parents!
Go away!
Oh No!!!
She’s arming the weapon!
Oh No!
The weapon’s right in front of us!!
What a truly dangerous exercise!
You two are not pilot compatible.
Well maybe we should have a better screening process than fighting with sticks..
This is an ear…
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?!?!
Nope.
Liar.
Hey everyone!
Guess what!
I brought a friend!
What up!
Alright!
We got 2 Kaijus to kill this time.
You two…. are completely expendable, we barely even know your names so you go fight the Kaiju.
Got it!
And you are a little more important so you hang back.
Got it!
I need a Kaiju brain so I can connect my brain to that brain.
Again.
AGAIN!?
YOU IDIOT!
Now they are gonna find you!
Hey!
Do you know where my friend is?
3 Arm ATTACK!
Be careful with those!
They’re sharp!
Throw ATTACK
WEEEEEE!!
We’ll take it from here.
Go to sleep.
I’m not tired!
Owww!
The other Jaegers need help sir!
I SAID THEY’RE EXPENDABLE!!
We’re expendable!!!!
Hey!
Stop hurting our friends!
AH AH AH CHOOOOO!!!
Ewwwww!!!!
We gotta fire our missles!
PAUSE!!!!!
What just happened?
The blast knocked out all our equipment.
Not Gypsy Danger because she’s…
analog!
Then get in there!
You wanna do something really stupid?
Ohhhh yeaaaaa!
Yeah!
Take that you!
Ow!
My eye!
Now go home and think about what you..
OH THANK GOODNESS!
Ooo Another friend!
Imma give you a hug!
This ocean is getting boring..
Let’s go play in the city!
WEEEEEE!!!
You know what’s stronger than metal hands?
Metal hands holding metal boxes!
We did it!
Hey.
You wanna shoot it’s corpse
Yes!
On second thought we maybe should’ve saved those…
Best friend!
I know you’re in there!
Heard you like to play with boats!
Boater up!
OOOOHHH a boa...
Hey give me that boat!
You need to tell your tail to chill
Hey that’s cold…
Surprise wings activate!
We’re screwed Mako.
We’re losing oxygen.
We don’t have any more weapons.
Except for the sword!!
Oh wow our minds are totally connected and yet I still didn’t know that weapon was
even part of th..
OW!
I’m half kaiju I used to be…
And now we’re falling.
Aim for that football stadium!
SUPERHERO LANDING!!!
Did they die?
Nope.
Hey!
Gimme the Kaiju brain…
Okay..
I’m sorry boss, but the brain has been damaged.
If only there was a way to get another kaiju brain almost immediately with no further plot development.
Perhaps I could be of some assistance!
Ahh!
A convenient Baby Kaiju!
earn this….
I claim him.
That one’s mine!
Finders keepers everyo...
No survivors!
I’m not dead..
Alright Herman!
We’re running out of time.
I gotta connect my brain to this Kaiju.
You mean we BOTH have to connect our brains.
You mean it?
By george, I most certainly do!
Awkward handshake time!
Ooo My favorite!
Boop boop tap tap!
There it is!
Haha!
Ladies and gentlemen.
It’s time for our last mission.
Now you might be asking yourself why is your commander getting into a Jaeger?
Well truth is, I don’t want to be in the sequel.
I’m a bigger actor than all of you put together and I’m tired of this crap!
Get John Boyega or something to do it.
Make him my son or whatever.
I’m sure he’ll be huge, like in Star Wars huge.
You guys like Star Wars, don’t you?!
Yeah!
Haha..
Nerds..
We have to tell them!
The plan is not going to work!
Why don’t the helicopters drop us closer again?
Two Kaijus are waiting at the portal for you.
Hello there!
You lost?
Wait! Change of plans!
The bomb won’t go through the portal unless it’s connected to a Kaiju.
Any volunteers?
I’m getting another signal!
It’s a CAT5!
Bet ya thought I was gonna be Godzilla…
I’ve been practicing ballet ALL day!
Wanna see?
Analog chop!!
Aww, you stink!
No wonder nobody likes you!
You heard of deodorant?!
Help!
I’m being cyber bullied.
Not cool bro!
This doesn’t look good.
We better blow ourselves up
Raleigh!
We’re out..
It’s all up to you now!
What?
You guys do the rest.
That’s an order.
Alright, you heard the man.
Let’s go!
I’ll come with you so you can pass through the portal!
Alright!
We’re in!
Let’s finish this!
Escape pod!
What the heck is that?
You guys ever had a..
Jaeger Bomb?
Oh poop!
Escape Pod!
Oh my gosh!
We passed back through the portal without Kaiju DNA!
How lucky!
Raleigh?!!!
Did you die?!
Mako listen.
You’re going to have to do CPR.
I will hug him instead.
What?
I can’t breathe..
Yay!
It worked.
Alllllright!
We did it! …. until the sequel.
Raleigh!
Mako!
The choppers are on their way
Okay, well I don’t know why you need to send 19 choppers out here just for the two of us
but that’s fine
Hey, you passed us!
Hey!...
Are they coming back?