Do you want to know what motivates a child to do well in school? Well, that's what we're
talking about in this video. I'm Nicholeen Peck and I teach about parenting, education,
communication and this video is dedicated to motivating your child.
There are 3 main factors that motivate your child to do well in school. So in this video, I'm gonna talk
about those 3 factors and also share some personal experiences from my life and my children
that I think you'll find useful. Years ago, I took in treatment foster children into my
home. They were all between the ages of 12 and 18 years old. There was one 15 year old
girl who was very smart but she actually was getting terrible grades. I couldn't figure
this out. In fact, I recognized her quickly that she was putting a lot of effort into
her work assignments, her homework and everything yet for some reason, her grades were still
bad. I talked to her about it and she said well, I don't want to be one of the smart
ones. I don't want to be one of the ones that does good in school because that's not cool.
In fact, some of my friends might not like me if they knew I was one of the smart ones.
And so I said does that mean you're doing all this work which is really great work and
you're not turning it in? And she said yeah. I just don't want to be seen that way. That
blew my mind. I thought why wouldn't a person want to well in school? How could she decide
that social inclusion with a group of people who were going for a really bar would be more
important than doing your very best and know that she succeeded? This blew my mind so I
knew that I needed to help her find a new direction for her education. I decided that
that summer, I was going to homeschool this girl. Now, normally you can't homeschool children
who are foster children because the state technically is in-charge of them and they
don't usually agree with homeschooling. They want something they can monitor so I decided
in the summer though, we can do anything we wanted. Now, I was a homeschool mom so I was
used to homeschooling and I decided that I homeschool her during this time. She loved
it. She learned so many things. She wrote amazing papers. She was doing so well and
I decided we would share some of these things with my father who happen to be a public school
teacher at the high school. Well, he looked at some of her things and gave her lots of
praise for her intelligence and the research that she has done and all of the effort that
she had put into this work and I looked at her and I said June, do you see that this
is something you are good at. If you allow yourself to not succeed and not do well in
school just because you want to fit in or because of social reasons, then you're actually
gonna hurt yourself in the long run and she said yeah, I guess and she said how do I overcome
maybe not having any friends? And I said who's to say you won't have any friends? Maybe your
friends will actually respect you a lot more when you're honest about your own abilities
by putting forth your best effort. She hadn't thought of that before and decided to put
it to the test. Well before I knew it, June was succeeding in school and she had a few
new friends who quite frankly were better than the old ones but she also had earned
the respect of her other friends too. They didn't hate her. She assumed she would but
that just wasn't true. So what were 3 factors that I used for June that also apply to every
other person who may be is lacking a desire to succeed in school? Well before I get to
these 3 factors, hit that subscribe button. There are so many great videos in this channel
about education, about children, parenting, relationships, things that you will not want
to miss. Subscribe now. Factor number 1 is love of learning. A person has to have a love
of learning in order to desire to do well with their schoolwork and their assignments.
If they hate the learning, it just feels like such a lame word. They want to find an easy
way out. But if the person gets the opportunity to really love the learning, that makes all
the difference. Now, think about what I did for June. I decided to homeschool her through
the summer. She was able to study anything that she wanted to. That creates love of learning.
When a person gets the opportunity to study stamp collecting, to study medieval times
if they want to, then instantly, they feel like learning has a purpose and they get energized
by it. Most people can become energized by learning if they feel like they want something
at the end. So if it's just going through a check list, going through a workbook, that
can be very uninspiring. It doesn't seem like it's their desire that they want in the end.
They're doing it for somebody else. Maybe it's the teacher or a parent or somebody like
that that just does not create a love of learning. In fact if anything, it creates a hate for
learning. So, help your children develop a love of learning by making sure that you take
time to study things they want to study and as they're going through their homework assignments
and they come across something that's interesting, pause there. Talk about it. Study that a little
further and then just fill in the blanks on the rest. Help them truly love the learning
and they will decide that school is serving them and doing them some good for their life.
Factor number 2 is connection. So in order for a person to really get inspired by learning
and want to do well, they need to have a good connection or relationship from what or who
they're learning from. If a person doesn't have a really great relationship with their
teacher, you might want to work on that. Help them come to a place where they understand
each other, have some one on one talks so that you make sure that they truly do get
along. If not, it can be the recipe for learning disaster. They need to have a good relationship
with whoever's teaching them whether it's parent, teacher or even the books they're
reading. If the books are dull or boring, if they present ideas that the person doesn't
agree with, then immediately they start to think really? What am I getting out of this
and why am I doing it anyway? But if they feel connected with the teacher, then instantly
they see themselves growing and loving the whole experience. So connectional relationship
is huge. If that is lacking, that's something that need deliberate effort to fix. Factor
number 3 is skills. A person needs to know how to stick to stuff, right? How to get through
hard things. This means things aren't always gonna keep going their way. So I teach parenting.
In fact, that's what I'm known for the most. My parenting program is called teaching self-government
and you can find information out about it on teachingselfgovernment.com. In my teaching
self-government parenting course, I teach 4 basic skills for children. These 4 basic
skills are really helpful in helping your children become motivated to do well in school.
So what are they? They are following instructions, accepting "no" answers and criticism, accepting
consequences and disagreeing appropriately. Let's talk about following instructions. When
a person learns to follow instructions, they learn to look at the person or the assignment
or the task at hand, keep a calm face, voice and body, that means they choose to be okay
about it. Then they say okay or they disagree appropriately about it which is another one
of those 4 basic skills. Then they do the task immediately and then check back. that
check back is really important. It's huge because that's the opportunity where they
get the feedback from the teacher. They hear they did a good job. I was one of those students
in school that did well on all of my assignments and tests and I knew that I did well, I did
my best but honestly, I was looking for that praise from the teacher. And when I didn't
get it, I started feeling like why am I doing this anyway? Because a lot of the stuff we
were studying was interesting to me. If I couldn't get the praise from the teacher when
I checked back by turning it in, I started to feel like is there even any point? That
develops a hate of learning. You become disenchanted. Now maybe some teachers think I want to teach
this child a lesson. I want them that they don't get to have praise for everything that
they do but you've got to think of where they're coming from. They're learning something just
because it's in the curriculum, not necessarily interested. Now hopefully a love of learning
has been developed, but it hasn't, then that praise is pretty much all they got left. So
make sure that you teach them the skills for success. How to do all 5 steps of following
instruction is gonna be vital for that success and at the end of it, make sure that you praise
them because they're gonna be waiting for that especially if they put in some effort
and they're not necessarily committed to the topic. Are you ready to motivate your learner?
They want motivation. They want somebody to invest in what they're doing, someone to connect
to, someone to show them that learning is fun and engaging and exciting and not just
about have-to's all the time. So praise their efforts, teach them the skills they need for
success. You will be grateful that you did. If you've enjoyed this video, I know you'll
love the next video. In fact, it's a full class all about creating that perfect environment
for motivating yourself and others. It's called "The Expectation Trap vs. The Cycle For Success."
So go ahead and find that video now and I'll see you there.