What if Sonic was real Hello and welcome back to Life’s Biggest
Questions, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey.
Sonic the Hedgehog is one of the best-known video game characters of all time, with countless
games, shows, and comics about his adventures.
And based on the number of requests we’ve had for a Sonic video, some of you guys are
rather fond of him too!
Just a warning: We’ll be gettin’ nerdy up in here.
If that’s not your bag, that’s totally cool.
But if it is, and you’re looking for more Sonic vids, check out Top 10 Gaming!
It’s a sister channel hosted by myself and Kelly Paoli, and it’s Sonic month this month!
Now get ready, it’s time to ask the question: What if Sonic was real?
First and foremost, if Sonic was real, we would definitely want to study him.
Humanity could learn a lot, and could potentially learn how to impart this speed power to others.
However, it’s probably unlikely that Sonic would allow himself to be tested like that,
and would probably avoid capture.
Normally this might cause the authorities to dislike him, but there’s one habit of
his that might make the world governments a bit more okay with him: He saves the world
an awful lot.
If Sonic was real, that would probably mean that the evil Doctor Robotnik, otherwise known
as Eggman, was real too.
And if there was an evil scientist sending killer robots to take over the world, and
there was a blue hedgehog who fought to save the world from him, world governments might
be willing to forgive the heroic hedgehog for not wanting to become a lab rat.
On the other hand, there’s a chance that Sonic would be seen as a menace, an unwanted
vigilante, and the government would come up with its own ways of dealing with Eggman without
Sonic.
Unfortunately, this has not gone particularly well in the games, with Sonic generally having
to save the day regardless of the efforts of humanity.
Hopefully we’d work with the guy, and wouldn’t vilify him.
This brings up another important point: it would be incredibly stressful to live in a
world under near-constant attack from a supervillain.
While in Sonic we generally don’t see a lot of the consequences to everyday folks,
if it was real, WE would be the everyday folks.
WE would be enslaved by Robotnik.
WE would be in danger of being blown up in his attempt to take over the world.
And I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds pretty darn terrifying.
However, one aspect of Sonic would be really cool for us normal folk: chaos emeralds.
For the uninitiated in the ways of Sonic, chaos emeralds are magical relics that, when
collected, can give the wielder incredible power.
If it helps, they’re basically Sonic’s version of Dragon Balls.
The existence of these gems would cause a huge number of people to begin a quest to
find them all.
Huge factions would spring up, groups of adventurers questing to collect all the emeralds.
Some would do this in the name of science, while others would chase them for personal
gain, but the rush for the chaos emeralds would make the gold rush look like child’s
play.
Those who did find the emeralds could become super powerful themselves, and potentially
form a league of heroes or villains, depending on their intentions.
Not only would the world become more uncertain because of Sonic and Eggman, but the chaos
emeralds would allow otherwise ordinary people to do extraordinary and unpredictable things,
for better or for worse.
And now we come to the weirdest possible implication: poop.
If you don’t know hedgehogs very well, you should know that they’re really weird.
And a lot of their weirdness revolves around turds.
First, hedgehogs poop and pee while running.
If you’ve ever had a hedgehog run on a wheel, you’ll have learned not to stand too close,
or you’ll get real messy, real fast.
If Sonic was real, you would NOT want to be running behind him.
That might not be a cloud of DUST behind him...
But wait, there’s more.
Yet another poo-related hedgehog fact has to do with their habit of “Self-annointing”.
This involves them chewing on something until it mixes with their saliva and gets all foamy,
then rubbing it all over their body.
And you know one thing they like to do this with?
Yep, feces.
They munch on it until it gets nice and sticky, then spread it all over themselves like body
chocolate.
Really makes Amy’s obsession with Sonic even weirder.
And yes, I learned this from the endlessly entertaining Scientifically Accurate Sonic
song.
Of course, given that Sonic is a fictional character with supernatural abilities, it
may be that he wouldn’t show the same behaviours as normal hedgehogs do.
But it would be way funnier if he did, so I’ll just assume he would.
And now we return to our question: What if Sonic was Real?
Well, apparently he would chew up his own poo and rub it all over his body… which
is pretty weird.
But all disturbing hedgehog quirks aside, the world would be pretty crazy.
Us normal civilians would be living in fear that some crazy egg-shaped scientist guy might
send robots to take over the world, while this speedy, apparently poop-covered hedgehog
would be running around breaking the sound barrier with his friends.
But hey, if you avoided being killed or pooped on, you could try to find the chaos emeralds
and go Super yourself!
Awesome.
Thank you for watching Life’s Biggest Questions, I hope this was interesting and informative,
and maybe even inspired you to look into it further on your own.
If you liked this video, please thumbs up and subscribe to the channel down below.
While you’re down there, let me know what video game you would make real if you could!
Until next time, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey with Life’s Biggest Questions, wishing you
the best of luck, on your quest for answers.