Sensitive and perfectionistic by nature, there's no questioning the fact that INFJs are prone
to feelings of inadequacy and being misunderstood..however, what about feelings of depression?
Now, of course, not all INFJs are depressed, and INFJs are certainly not the only MBTI
type to struggle with depression.
Yet, INFJs are in fact one of the types that are more familiar with these depressive states..
So, why exactly is that?
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os!
Today we’re going to be discussing the 6 reasons why INFJs are prone to depression.
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Alright, let’s get right into it starting with..
Number 1: The deep set need for purpose
Ahh.. a purposeful-filled life, doesn’t that sound nice?
Well, to the average person, that’s exactly what true purpose is to them, nothing but
a concept that was buried once they stepped into their unfulfilling careers and the responsibilities
of adulthood.
Some may say their purpose was to be a parent, or maybe they found their purpose through
their career, but for the INFJ.. the chase for purpose is an ever evolving game.
In reality, this intention-motivated type looks for purpose in everything they do, whether
it’s a lesson, a calling, a kind gesture, or something that only they can see the meaning
in.
However, life doesn't always make it easy to follow this divine purpose.
Things like repetitive careers, long commutes, lifeless relationships, and the long list
of other habits that most people settle for, just don’t do it for the INFJ.
And so, INFJs tend to struggle when their actions don’t meet their values or their
desire to make a difference in the world.
As a result, when they become unsure of their cause or can’t seem to find the meaning
in their work, they can feel seriously lost, unsure of themselves, and down in the dumps.
No purpose means no drive, and with no drive, this curious type can expect depressive feelings
almost instantly.
Number 2: Emotional depletion
If you’re an INFJ yourself, you’ll know first hand the amount of mental and emotional
exhaustion that comes with the power of absorbing other people’s emotions and feelings.
A classic intuitive empath trait, INFJs can actively soak up other people’s feelings
without even realizing it.
And because they can’t always notice when their emotions are actually just absorbed
emotions of the people around them, without proper boundaries in place empathy burnout
can take a serious toll.
In fact, it only takes one negative presence to switch the INFJ from happy-go-lucky to
extremely down and disinterested - which can be the tipping point to them falling deeper
into those undesirable feelings.
For example, if an INFJ comes home from a great day at work only to find that their
spouse is rather moody and upset about how their own day went, the INFJ will automatically
be pulled into the same frequency as their partner in order to subconsciously understand
how they feel.
Yet, the key word here is subconscious, because INFJs don’t necessarily want to take on
the feelings of others, especially when they’re negative.
However, avoiding it is much easier said than done.
As a matter of fact, the most difficult part about it is that being able to let go or compartmentalize
the emotions of others is extremely difficult for them, often leaving them feeling emotionally
exhausted, even to the point of finding it difficult to function in a normal social life.
Number 3: Unrealistic high self-standards
Known for their deep-set perfectionism, INFJs have a unique way of setting standards in
their lives.
With introverted intuition coupled with their judging nature, the INFJ is more prone to
having high expectations for themselves, which also means they often feel like they’re
failing.
While of course, these perfectionistic tendencies can be seen as the unsung hero of the INFJ’s
functions, it also has the potential to be the INFJ’s mental kryptonite.
This is because this intuitive feeler sets such high standards for themselves that they
become consumed by their role in the expected outcome.
This can look different depending on the situation, but for most INFJs it can be seen as accepting
too many obligation, trying to help too many people, trying to accomplish 10 goals in 1,
not actively scheduling in time for rest, impractical time lines, and ultimately coming
down too hard on themselves should none of these expectations measure up.
While most people rather point the finger than take ownership for their shortcomings,
the INFJ looks at nobody else but themselves.
And this isn’t always in relation to obligations such as career or family life.
In fact, INFJs can beat themselves up over the simplest of things, especially if their
minds are already in an over-active state.
An INFJ blogger from IntrovertDear.com gave the perfect example when she said: “Let's
just say someone asks me a question and I don’t give a good answer at that moment.
For days to come, I might keep thinking about the question and answering it in my head over
and over again as if I could somehow change my response…it makes my brain hurt and leaves
me exhausted.”
Number 4: Unnoticeable self-absorption
If an INFJ were to find out that someone perceives them as self-absorbed they would probably
be slightly offended.
Known for their empathetic but individualistic ways, the INFJ usually knows when to shut
off their inner chatter to focus on their surroundings in order to aid someone in need
of a lending-hand or open ear.
In fact, INFJs live for the feeling of helping others, and although it sounds corny, if too
much time passes in between them getting their next fill of generosity, they can actually
feel a little out of touch with reality.
And unfortunately, that’s exactly what happens when they have something distracting circulating
in their thoughts.
While we wouldn't actually call it self-absorption per se, when an INFJ is focused on their inner
thoughts, it ultimately distracts them from what they love to do best, which is observe
and analyse their surroundings.
This means they can’t actively use their extroverted sensing to decipher what could
use their attention, details they should remember about people, and really anything else that
doesn’t involve the topic of their ruminating thoughts.
Number 5: Serious overthinking
Besides what an INFJ misses because of distraction, the real question is what’s happening on
the inside that is actually distracting them in the first place.
Well, whatever it is, it almost always comes in the form of over-thinking.
With the combination of introverted intuition and introverted feeling as two of their 4
main cognitive functions, the INFJ has a natural tendency to get stuck in their heads.
And while it usually serves them and their near-psychic intuition well, sometimes an
overactive mind can send the INFJ on a fast track to a depressive episode.
As a matter of fact, overthinking has to be one of the INFJs biggest challenges to navigate
in life.
Constantly deciphering between overactive ruminating and helpful reflections within
their own minds, sometimes just the sheer idea of getting mentally wrapped in something
can stress the INFJ out.
When this introspective type gets stuck in an overthinking cycle, it’s like that little
voice in the back of their heads spirals out of control.
Instead of being helpful and observant, it becomes nasty, obsessive and critical.
It can easily convince the INFJ that their efforts aren’t enough, that people don’t
really want to be around them, that their goals are far-fetched or completely unattainable,
and the list goes on..
Ultimately, this uncontrollable negative chatter becomes all that they can focus on, digging
them a deeper hole as they stray away from the things they normally enjoy.
Number 6: The need for harmony
INFJs are able to feel like the best versions of themselves when their surroundings are
in flow.
While some people are able to strive in times of conflict and commotion, the INFJ avoids
conflict like the plague, tirelessly working towards harmony even to the point of exhaustion.
Although it may seem like an act of empathy towards others, this need for external harmony
is simply an effort to maintain internal peace.
Like we said, INFJs absorb the emotions of others, so in times of serious conflict and
or conversational uproar, this empathetic type can actually feel the anger, disappointment,
or sadness from the people involved.
Especially when it comes to their closest relationships, disputing heated disagreements
can consume the INFJ entirely, leaving them feeling hopeless, vulnerable, and ultimately
set in a depressive state.
Simple necessities like relaxation and self care become difficult when there’s any sort
of negativity in their environment, and if it’s unstable for long enough, an INFJ can
actually become physically sick
Well, that’s it for today PSYCH-Os..
As an INFJ,what do you do when you can feel a depressive episode creeping up?
Let us know in the comments below.
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