Hey, it's Annemarie with Speak Confident English and I'm curious,
have you ever been in a conversation that made you uncomfortable or honestly,
it was just a little bit boring and you weren't sure how to stop the
conversation so that you could move on and go do something else or talk to other
people.
Perhaps it was at a networking event and there were a lot of people that you
wanted to talk to,
but you got stuck into a conversation that honestly was a little bit boring and
you weren't sure how to end it and move on without being impolite or maybe it's
at work and it's a conversation that just makes you feel uncomfortable and all
you can think about is wanting to end it and get away from the situation.
In today's lesson,
we're going to look at strategies and the language that you need in English so
that you can stop conversations and move on without being impolite and without
offending anybody.
Strategy number one for how to stop a bad conversation fast is to make a good
excuse. Now, I'm sure you're familiar with something like, excuse me,
I need to use the restroom, or I'd like to get a drink.
But here's the problem.
You and I both know that those excuses are cliches,
they're used too often, and so does everybody else.
We all know that they are just excuses to get away from a conversation,
and most of the time they're not really true.
You're only using it to end the conversation.
Thankfully we have other excuses we can use in English that are perfectly
polite, they're honest,
and they allow you to end the conversation in a positive way.
So if you're at a networking event or a party and you're feeling stuck in a
conversation that you want to get away from,
here are some really great ways to do that. It's been really nice talking to you,
but I promised myself that I would mingle at this event and get to know some new
people, so I should probably go do that. I'll catch you later. You know,
I have to admit,
sometimes I'm terrible at these networking events and I just stay in one place
tonight.
I promised myself that I would try to make an effort to get to know others,
so I'm going to go do that, but it was really good to see you. Oh,
I see a few of my colleagues and I need to pass on some information so I'll have
to end the conversation here, but it was great to talk with you.
All of those examples allow you to get out of a conversation easily and move on
to talk to someone else. Now,
if you want more examples of a good excuse that you could use,
I've shared several more in the online lesson and I'll be sure to include a link
just below this video.
Strategy number two is to ask the other person to give you an exit plan or an
opportunity to leave.
What you're really doing in this example is getting the other person to
introduce you to someone else so that you can start a different conversation.
Here are a couple of great ways to do that. You know,
I hardly know anyone here. Who Do you think I should meet?
I'd love to meet a few new people at this event tonight.
Can you introduce me to anyone?
Both of those are really simple ways to get an opportunity to start a different
conversation with someone new.
Strategy number three for stopping a bad,
uncomfortable or boring conversation is to do the opposite of number two and
introducing that person to someone else.
If you know someone else in the room who might really enjoy talking with this
person or have something in common,
you can find a way to bring that person into the conversation and once you've
done that, it also gives you the opportunity to move on and talk to someone else.
If you see a colleague or a friend in the room and you know that they have
something in common with this other person, you could say something like, oh,
I see my friend Francis and I think you two have a lot in common.
Let me introduce you.
Even better is to be specific about a topic they could discuss. For example,
you might say, oh, I see bill.
I know he'd love to hear all about the project that you're working on.
Let me get him into the conversation.
Strategy number four for getting out of a bad conversation is to act like
they've been helping you by spending all this time in a conversation with you
and now it's time for them to stop.
You no longer need their help in the examples I'm going to share with you.
What you're really going to do is to thank them for their time,
let them know that it's been helpful to you or that you've enjoyed it and now
you're giving them permission to go talk to somebody else.
So here's how you can do that.
I know I've been taking up so much of your time and I'm sure you've got a lot of
other people to talk to, so I'll let you go. But it's been great to see you.
Thanks so much for spending all this time chatting with me.
It's been really great to catch up,
but I'll let you go talk to some others now and finally,
I know I've been talking your ear off,
so I'll let you off the hook and catch you later. Thanks for chatting.
To talk someone's ear off means to talk for too long and to let someone off the
hook means you're giving them permission to go. And finally,
strategy number five is just end it and move on.
Sometimes whether it's because we're uncomfortable in the situation or we're
just tired and annoyed and we really do have something else that we need to do
or somebody else that we need to talk to.
The best thing that you can do is to be quick and polite.
A great way to do this at a formal event is to immediately put your hand out,
to shake their hand as an indication that the conversation is coming to an end
and you need to leave. And you can do that by saying something like,
well, it's been great talking with you, but I've got to go.
I'll chat with you later, or it's been a pleasure meeting you.
I really enjoyed it. And then you simply move on.
This same strategy works perfectly.
If you run into someone unexpectedly at a supermarket or while you're on a walk
in your neighborhood and again,
you get stuck into a conversation that you don't want to be in and you need to
find a way to end it and leave.
An informal way to get out of the conversation is to simply say,
it's been nice chatting with you, but I've got to go, or it was nice to see you,
but I've got to run in those examples.
You're not including a specific reason why you need to end the conversation and
honestly, you don't have to.
If it's someone that you don't know well or you've just met them for the first
time, you don't need to give them all those details.
You can simply let them know that you've enjoyed the conversation and now you
need to move on.
Now that you know how to get out of a bad conversation quickly and still be
polite, I want to hear from you.
I'm curious if you've ever been stuck in a conversation in English,
what did you do? How did you get out of it?
And if that happened to you today,
what strategy would you use from this lesson? I'd love to hear from you,
and you can tell me all about it in the comment section of the online lesson or
just below this video.
And don't forget that I have a full playlist on how to deal with difficult
situations in English, whether it's how to handle gossip,
give someone bad news or deal with a rude comment.
You can find all of those and more in the playlist.
And if you subscribe to this channel, you'll never miss a future lesson.
Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to seeing you next time.