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inside our bodies are chemicals that are
trying to get us to do things that are
in the best interest of us
they are endorphins dopamine serotonin
and oxytocin endorphins endorphins are
designed to do one thing and one thing
only mass physical pain if you were a
runner if you've heard of an in runner's
high what's happening is when that
runners out there pushing their bodies
harder than they'd ever pushed before
they feel good and then an hour later
they're in pain for damage they cause
their muscles an hour before
endorphins they're designed to mask
physical pain dopamine dopamine is the
feeling do you accomplish something you
set out to accomplish the whole purpose
of dopamine is to make sure that we get
stuff done this is why you must write
down your goals there's a biological
reason for that we very very visually
oriented animals you have to be able to
see the goal for it to biologically stay
focused and every time we achieve a goal
in the mix
feel like we're making progress to the
delusion we can see we keep going and
going and going until we achieve
something remarkable have to be able to
see it dopamine dopamine comes with a
warning dopamine is highly highly highly
addictive here are some other things
that release dopamine alcohol nicotine
gambling your cell phone we can also get
addicted to performance in our companies
when all they do is give us numbers to
hit numbers to hit numbers to hit and a
bonus you get and a bonus you get and a
bonus you get all they're doing is
feeding us with dopamine we can't help
ourselves all we do is one more more
MORE one of the things we know about
dopamine addict is they will do anything
to get another hit sometimes at the
sacrifice of their own resources and
their relationships dopamine is
dangerous if it is unbalanced
serotonin serotonin is responsible for
feelings of fried status this is why
public recognition is very important we
are social animals and we need the
recognition of others this is why we
have commencement for graduation you
could get an email that says
congratulations you fulfilled all the
requirements for graduation can close
please print out the PDF of your diploma
wouldn't feel so good right so instead
we have a big ceremony to recognize the
accomplishment and in the audience we
put our family and our friends
and our teachers all those in our tribe
who've supported us and watched our
backs as we've made it through
and then we show up on that day and we
go up on that stage and we take our
diploma it feels great
we feel our status rise we feel our
pride go up here's the best part about
serotonin
and the exact moment that you took your
diploma you felt that surge of serotonin
go through your body your parents
sitting in the audience also got a surge
of certain Anna also felt an intense
pride watching you graduating and this
is what serotonin is trying to do it is
trying to reinforce the relationship
between parent and child coach and
player
the caregiver and the one who is
grateful for the support they are given
the problem is you can trick Saratov we
live in a materialist society so we
judge status very often in our country
based on how much money you make so any
conspicuous display of wealth raises
your status this is why they put the
logos on the outside no good on the
inside nobody can see them so you can
actually feel your confidence rise when
you put under stuff because it's showing
this display of status it feels great
the problem is there was no real
relationship that was reinforced because
of it
you tricked the system that's why we
keep trying to accomplish things and
accumulate more and more material goods
and yet we never feel successful because
there was no relationship we tricked
them we gained it oxytocin
this is the best chemical of all
oxytocin is the feeling of love trust
and friendship it
oxytocin is that intense feeling of
safety that someone's got your back
there are multiple ways you can get
oxytocin one way to get at is physical
contact
hugging feels wonderful when women give
birth to children huge surge of oxytocin
in their body this is what's responsible
for the mother-child bond it's all that
oxytocin in the system another way you
can get oxytocin is through acts of
human generosity
doing nice things for people
remember our buddies are trying to get
us to repeat behaviors that are in our
best interest and it's making us feel
good when we see or do acts of human
generosity so that we will do them in
fact the more oxytocin you have in your
body
the more generous you actually become it
gets better than that
lots of oxytocin to your body inhibits
addiction it boosts your immune system
it makes you healthier that's why happy
people live longer it's why couples live
longer it increases our ability to solve
problems it increases our creativity
it's really good for us and it's not
addictive it just feels great it's one
more chemical I haven't told you about
cortisol cortisol is the feeling of
stress and the feeling of anxiety we
share these chemicals with all the
social mammals cortisol is designed to
keep us alive it is the first stage of
fight-or-flight
it makes us paranoid it makes all of our
senses hyper attuned to look for danger
it injects glucose into our muscles to
make us stiff and ready to go in case we
need to fight or flight it increases our
heart rate like crazy
cortisol to get all of that extra energy
it needs to shut down non-essential
systems so it shuts off things like
growth you don't need your fingernails
to grow at that moment shuts it off the
other thing it shuts off is our immune
system don't need it in that moment the
problem is you're not supposed to have
cortisol in your system all the time
you're supposed to have it in and then
gone one of the things cortisol does it
inhibits the release of oxytocin
biologically if you work in a
high-stress environment where you don't
feel safe you were biologically less
than pathetic and less generous
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Alcoholics Anonymous has been highly
effective for decades Alcoholics
Anonymous knows that if you master all
11 steps but not the 12th you will drink
again the twelfth step is the commitment
to help another alcoholic
service
service to another
oxytocin wins serotonin wins
the more we look off each other the
safer we feel the more we feel like we
belong and the more we will work
together to confront the dangers outside
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you