Hello there.
I'm an astronaut,
but you probably worked that out already from my smile.
(TING!) Oh, well, yes, I did.
So, you want to go to space?
Yes, I do.
Let me guide you through all the do's and don'ts
you'll need to know on your space adventure.
Yes! Just what I need. (RECORD SCRATCHES)
I'm sorry, but are you going to talk the whole way through?
Yes, probably. Sorry!
OK.
It probably makes sense to start at the start of the day,
although a day on the ISS
is a little different to the one here on Earth.
In 24 hours, the Space Station makes 16 orbits of Earth,
travelling through 16 sunrises and 16 sunsets.
To make sure everyone is on the same page,
or rather the same time zone,
the ISS follows the:
And after spending a night in this sort of cocoon thing
that stops you from floating around whilst you get some Zs,
you'll get up, or down, or side to side, at 6am,
and then work until 9:30 that night.
Just like Earth humans, space humans need to eat too,
but, unfortunately, jam on toast is not on the menu.
What about peanut butter?
No.
When it comes to what you can eat in space,
there are some definite don'ts,
like anything that might float away and clog an air vent,
or contaminate equipment,
or get stuck in your eyes, mouth or nose.
But don't worry -
things like spaghetti, fajitas, and pizza are still on the menu,
just as long as it can be stored in something airtight
'cause the food needs to be able to last a while.
You can still heat things up
or use water to restore dehydrated food.
Oh, and thanks to this SpaceX crew,
we now know it's also possible to grow and eat chillies in space -
something that might be useful on longer missions
or if you're just looking to spice up a dish.
Now that we're awake and fed,
it's time to get ready for the day with a nice warm...
Shower.
(LAUGHS) Good luck! Oh.
You might want to pack some wet wipes
because the closest thing astronauts get to a shower on the ISS
is a cloth with a bit of soap on it.
Brushing your teeth is still fine,
although you might have to swallow the toothpaste.
And thanks to a rinseless shampoo, you can even wash your hair.
Naturally, during your space quest, you'll need to relieve yourself.
Each crew member is assigned
their very own personal urinal nozzle thingy
that sucks your number ones through a hose
and into a waste water tank.
As for those number twos,
well, astronauts position themselves over this tiny toilet seat,
and just like a vacuum,
their unmentionables are sucked away into the toilet's chamber-pot.
And there's the option of chucking on a pair of these bad boys
and going wherever and whenever you please -
something these guys are familiar with
after the toilet on their space capsule sprung a leak.
And finally:
Of course, being on board the ISS
isn't all missions, research and experiments.
I mean, it mostly is, but there's always time for leisure.
Whether it's getting in some exercise,
playing ping-pong or with a yoyo,
or maybe someone will come up and film an actual movie up there,
like these guys did.
I mean, that's pretty cool.
And there you have it -
everything you need to know about life in space.
Oh, thank you. It'll be a blast.
(CHUCKLES) Get it?
A blast, 'cause I'll be blasting off into space, yeah?
No, I got it. It just wasn't very funny.
Oh.